Follow Friday – Fancy Coat

Today’s Follow Friday is brought to you by Isobel’s fancy coat. Grandma gave her this fancy coat and intended it to be used only on formal occasions, but I know that if we saved it for some day she’d no longer fit into it when that day arrived. I think this is good advice for anyone, really: don’t wait for an excuse, wear your fancy coat today.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.

Jesus_M_Christ I am with you always, until the very end of time. Well, except for when Real Housewives is on, that’s Me Time.

80sMomKara I’ve got just 24 hrs to figure out what to wear to the Lady Gaga concert. I’m out of trash bags & prosciutto, so this is gonna be tough.

killorn It’s easy to spot the douchebags inIreland – they’re the ones in the O’ffliction shirts.

tommycm These robot trousers are harder to construct than I imagined.

sucittaM When I see people running to catch the elevator I’m on I yell “HURRY! YOU GOTTA SMELL THIS!”.

shinyinfo Making an appointment at a Planned Parenthood right now AND I’ll give them extra money. Suck it, Republicans.

ieatmykidzsnack Sometimes parenthood is one long “who’s on first” skit.

LouisPeitzman If you scream “PERSONAL SPACE” incessantly, no one will even attempt to sit next to you. Try it!

wordlust Good fences make really good neighbors if you add a glory hole.

taraolibrary First smashed bug on the windshield. Spring has begun.

mat Just sent a DM to someone to tell them to check their email. I am the problem.

iscoff Think for yourself! (RT THIS)

inversejaik People who have those ‘praying Calvin’ decals obviously never read Calvin and Hobbes.

chickenscottpie Just accidentally called about 150,000 people “asses” in a company-wide email.

inversejaik Best line in a blurb for a competitive Scrabble team: “WE DIDN’T COME HERE TO MAKE WORDS WITH FRIENDS.”

michaeljnelson Emus are wondrous, exotic creatures. Let’s melt them down and rub them on our skin.

JohnFugelsang  Los Angeles is a place where using a turn signal is considered a sign of weakness.

badbanana According to the commercials, Pizza Hut is now stuffing their crust with pizza or something.

DJSLEAZY I’ve had a pretty wild sex life, but I’ve never heard the wolf howl in the still of the night. I think Whitesnake just made that shit up.

RailbirdJ I was born ready. For bed.

TheRedQueen “Toot and Puddle” sounds more like something you pay a hooker to do to you than the title of a kids show.

inversejaik My Mom hums songs from the Clash while she does housework.

danforthfrance My “ionizing” tower fan gave up the ghost. I’m just going to pretend it works, like I always did.

VHStapes2 Has anyone ever actually thrown a monkey wrench into anything? Safety Training needs to take a good long look at itself.

Ahm76 YM Magazine suggested I keep my hair in a loose bun on top of my head while I slept, so my hair would look popular in the morning.

MrWordsWorth I have taken myself to dinner. I’m so giving myself sex tonight.

MagpieLibrarian I get around like a vinyl.

alonelyargonaut you know you’re getting old when the moms in commercials are starting to look attractive.

KeepingYouAwake We paid to walk 3 miles. Fuck you, cancer.

thomaslennon Sleep tight! And don’t dream about Redd Foxx in a Speedo. #justinceptedyou

juliasegal The IKEA catalogue is my favorite book about Sweden.

UncleDynamite The chief problem with Twitter, as I see it, is that you can’t push the geeks into their lockers AS THEY SO RICHLY DESERVE.

danforthfrance TGIF DUDE RT @neiltyson: Will the universe end? Yes. Not with a bang but a whimper. Not in fire, but in ice. Not in light, but in darkness.

slackmistress OH: the smartphone has revolutionized pooping! – @betheboy

helgagrace Oh I love it when they come in and ask me for the books on guns. I hope they enjoy the c.1955 rifle catalog.

ScrewyDecimal Today’s theme music would be in a minor key with lots of angry cello playing.

Greeblemonkey Declan has a huge list of his friend’s names spelled backwards. I suspect this is how George Lucas creates most of his characters.

readingsarah I can’t brain today.

willgoldstein To my son: Dance like no one’s watching, because daddy needs a break.

sarcasmically Dancing like no one is watching. Also really just hoping no one is watching, for their own sake.

LoveLibrarian Fashion tip of the day: If you have hips and/or a butt, skinny jeans will make you look like a giant turkey leg. A trendy turkey leg.

That_Biz We have a playground date. Not only did I brush my teeth but I also shaved my legs. The things I do for my children.

BugginWord “I’m glad you like my apartment, but can you leave now? I have to pee in a jug. Feel free to make an offer. On the apartment, not the jug.”

johnmoe You might say I’m a triple threat considering how often I threaten people three times in a row.

bmangh Here’s a weird idea to balance the budget: tax the rich.

21stcenturymrs After watching #RHOC I have lots of questions: 1. Can you call yourself “well endowed” if you paid for your boobs? 2. Why are you awful?

smileydooby People still pay for porn? That’s some fucked up shit.

pistolval When I was young and naive I would have said arson, but, I’m going to go with voodoo.

antigone_spit Lo, Macduff and Macbeth ceased to be any semblance of bros and Macbeth did something so untight he had to die. And no one felt sorry for him.

MrWordsWorth Crowdsourcing slogan ideas with the cat. It’s going about as well as you can imagine. Lots of blank stares. From me.

wawoodworth My funeral wishes can be condensed into four words: “Closed casket. Open bar.”

CatFoodBreathWhen life hands you lemons, bat ’em around on the floor.

21stcenturymrs Spandex is kind of an evil genius. As a rower, I love spandex, but as a woman, I want you to get your awkward man bulge away from me, sir.

apelad I’m a climate change denier, by which I mean I don’t want anyone messing with the thermostat in my house.

wishing4horses Gavin complaining that this guy on Xbox live is “nube tubing” him. Should I like, call the police or something?

TheBlackStar Pardon me while I give a round of faux jerking off for wife’s coworkers who got employee of the month.

EvenMoreSarah Haters gonna hate. Autocorrect gonna make you look dumb to your friends and/or the Internet.

quietjenn A true story for Beverly Cleary’s birthday: I wrote her a letter after reading her bio & asked advice on being a librarian. She wrote back.

letsgetgizzy 1. Cut a hole in the tweet. 2. Put your junk in that tweet. 3. Make her open the tweet.

MeganBoley Just did a home bangs trim. Resembling Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.

oodja And cosplay. And he was something of a Furry as well. RT @rugbyologist: Zeus was really, really into roleplay

jillgengler In a meeting to review my job description and the theme song from “Must Love Cats” is stuck in my head.

MarylandMudflap The guy who invented the video game cartridge died today. I hope someone blows on the side of his casket before they put it in the ground.

KeepingYouAwake Complaining about gas prices and then getting fucked by them, you might as well be legally married to gasoline.

CatFoodBreath Blessed are the fat cats, for they shall inherit the couch.

LouisPeitzman Just got an email from Amazon.com saying, “Don’t sacrifice power for size!” Honestly, it’s a refreshing change from most of the spam I get.

sexygeologist If I opened a geek strip club, I’d name it “Sex Box Live”

jberthume I think I accidentally like a Ke$ha song.

theRratedBull I wouldn’t say I’m easy like Sunday morning, but I would say I’m easy like Paris Hilton.

ProfessorSnack Only male hearts have cockles. Female hearts have twatles.

heyrenees If you have to ask me if I’m drunk, I’m not drunk enough.

bibliophile23 I also think I may create a Sim Swedish Chef. How would “Bork, Bork, Bork” translate in Simlish?

FakeeEtiquette The polite and effective way to help depressed friends on Facebook is by telling them to cheer up using multiple smilies.

louisvirtel Unpaid internship #BadPromThemes

badbanana Place “out of order” note on the copier. Open up the sides. Pull it away from wall. Lie down behind it, feet out. Sleep.

wordlust The only thing we have to poop is poop itself.

markleggett Kinda excited to pass away one day. LOL JK I’m super scared you guys. Let’s all promise to go at the exact same time.

loganfountain It’s 10:55 and I just thought “what am I doing up so late?”
#livingthedream

lafix Is that your baby? It looks like it has an awesome personality.

blainecapatch made a cameo appearance on google street view today. check me out on the corner of 6th and rimpau!

freudiantypo Our kitchen commandment: whosoever cooketh the meal shalt not do the dishes.

LouisPeitzman I love when frozen foods try to shame me into not using the microwave. It’s like, you’re frozen food. Are you really in a position to judge?

The_Pigeon Rats.

sarcasmically I can’t figure out if my toddler is asking me to “play in the snow” or commenting on “wicked cameltoe”.

wawoodworth Two searches that brought people to my blog: “just porn” and “longer porn” 😐

brookbristow If it surprises you that Ke$ha has a song called “Blow,” then you’re obviously as talented as she is.

Edgar_Allan_Poe The road less traveled by has been barricaded & is patrolled by armed corporate thugs.

wolfpupy the mainstream media is lying to us. the dog knows its not real bacon.

SarahIvy I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky, I’m spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy!

RailbirdJ Knees slightly bent, one hand on the mic, other pointing to the crowd RT @PDPDQ: So just what exactly IS Justin Bieber’s position on Gaza?

YUCKYBOT Of course, Winnie The Pooh isn’t his real name. It’s Winifred Thaddeus Poopington.

 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.