Follow Friday

13 Aug

I’m running behind from the extra busy week at work so I’m going to go back and add photos later on when I have more time. For now, enjoy the best tweets Twitter has to offer! [UPDATE: photos added. Obviously. Isobel has greatly enjoyed the pool this summer. Also I rescued an abandoned kitten at the library. All in a day’s work!]


What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.


kessler How do I tell the IT guy he HAS to revive my computer so I can retrieve the knitting patterns saved on my desktop?

alwysabridesmd If eating leftover pad thai for breakfast is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Oh wait, I just swallowed a shrimp tail. #iwaswrong

unrealsnow My cat keeps turning my capslock on. He has no respect for proper Internet etiquette.

rrrobbed Sometimes I think twitter is completely frustraneous. #grandiloquent

hellobigfoot Take special bee to make scented candle

happyrobot I just heard. This fall. On Broadway. There is a musical. Based on Spiderman. With music written by Bono. I may pass out from snarkiness.

palinode Threat Level Pumpkin. That’s a free band name. Go ahead. Take it.

ApocalypseHow FoxNews has the oldest audience in news. Which explains their new motto, “We Report, Then Report It Again Louder.”

inversejaik Dammit, moths, stop having sex on my ceiling

badbanana Say goodbye to the long-lasting aftertaste. Introducing NEW Mouth Flavored Doritos.

lafix What kind of loser spends Tuesday night drinking and bragging about it on the internet? Anyway, totally drunk.

eshep Highlight of my day: “Sir Mix-A-Lot is now following you on Twitter!”

stray Gonna practice my grocery-based pick-up lines. E.g., “Hey, baby; want to test my organic radicchio for firmness and color?”

FrankConniff Cathy Guisewite writing film “Eat Pray Ack!” about Cathy’s quest to feel bad about her body in Italy, India & Indonesia.

PROMO_TWEET SOME FUCKING CHIPS: THEY’RE DELICIOUS OR WHATEVER

NASeason Right on schedule. I’m the mayor of this toilet!!

michaeljnelson Family away on vacation day 12: Managed to set fire to my bathroom sink & there’s some guy named “Old Tom” living in my kitchen.

helloyarn Corn zipper, where have you been all my life?

fakewinereviews Only four glasses into this bottle of Muscat Ottonel and I already know what I’m naming my ferret.

helgagrace That patron actually just said “I’m a PC.”

notbrandoncrane So, if the UK goes to war does everyone who’s been knighted have to fight? Most. Entertaining. War. Ever!

goodinthestacks I really need a haircut. I’m starting to look like the homeless dude that sleeps on the floor. #partyintheback

FakeAPStylebook Let us observe a moment of silence to pay tribute to the IBM Selectric.

purple_quark Life is like a box of…well, maybe it’s just like a box

MelindaHamby My husband just said he is a victim. Because everyone steals his pea purée. #topchef

helenstwin Y’all, Roald Dahl was a spy. How rad is that?

phaemarie I made macaroons. If I would have discovered how easy they are to make years ago I’d be much fatter.

TheRedQueen When I eat fancy food I pretend I am judging the food on Top Chef.

jberthume Still illin’. Going back to sleep until a more asylum hour, at which point I will replace all the fluids in my head with caffeine.

PROMO_TWEET JACK LINK’S BEEF JERKY: FEED YOUR JERKY HOLE

ApocalypseHow “I’m Batman.” #botchedpickuplines

badbanana You know what I like to do? Answer my own questions.

trelvix Cat was like, “I’ve been trying to call you all day. 88888888888888888888888888884. That’s you, right?”

Jewles Sometimes I forget the cat isn’t the dog and try to give him a command and he’ll look at me like “Honky, please.”

bookgirlsb Star-nosed mole: WHERE ARE YOUR EYEBALLS??? when you are my pet, we will investigate. xx, sb

michaeljnelson Ice cream truck just sped by. The Doppler effect transformed its “Turkey in the Straw” into something that will haunt my nightmares.

themomsmith Really sad that I’m not the first person to have googled “why are my boobs on fire”

FuckItLibrarian If I hear one more thing about Eat Pray Love. I’m gonna Drink Swear Vomit.

blogdangerously Facebook has suggested the same strangers to me so often that now I feel like I might know them.

NathanFillion Had a guy approach me on street. All he did was nod and say, “Captain.” That’s all he needed to say.

louispeitzman I know I’m having a bad day when I think, “Man, at least the zombie apocalypse would give me something to do.”

lafix Nephew: What’s a nooner? Me: Uh…lunch. Nephew: I need to thank mom for the delicious nooner. Me: Wait until her mouth is full.

sophienotemily HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS, KITTENS? POOP IS NOT A TOY!

hvymtllibrarian The Joy of Middlesex #badliterarymashups

BackpackingDad I can’t believe Amy Wong on Futurama got her Ph.D. before I did.

midwestgrrl this makes me vey sad i sold all my blues albums. then again i sold them for beer $ so what’s more blues than that?

wordlust Enough with the baby Jesus. Send your prayers to someone who cares, like the baby Thor or the baby Yoko Ono.

adiopink Other gems from this newspaper include “fistivities,” “excellerate/excellerater,” and someone honored with a “special plague.”

pnkrcklibrarian 210 tweets until I hit 20,000 tweets. It’ll be a party complete with f-bombs and goddamns. Because that’s how I roll.

MrDonaldGlover I drive safer with really good food in the passenger seat than with a close friend.

ApocalypseHow Dep’t of Education announces “Bullying Summit”… after being repeatedly called “DeFARTment of EduGAYtion!”

evilnick Is being able to swiftly identify why any given thing is crap a skill? I like to think so.

Stewie_Griffinn Dear Confused Teen Girls: someone who sparkles and won’t have sex with you isn’t a vampire; it’s a gay guy.

adamisacson Why are these Swedish mystery novels so popular? This one sucks. “The Girl Who Said ‘Bork Bork Bork'” wouldn’t even make a good cookbook.

apelad It took me 32 Joanna Newsom songs to finish painting the baby’s room. That’s how I measure time now.

BadAstronomer Nothing teaches care and patience like ironing naked.

AngelaSpaghetti Ominous smell emanating from dryer. Now have to hang clothes outside. Wish I’d paid attn to those pirate knot tying lessons. Arrrrr!

danforthfrance If we’re talking straits, as straits go, I gotta go with the Strait of Hormuz. Hands down. Favorite strait.

lilpyrogirl I woke up wearing one sock and nothing else. I’m so confused.

phaemarie I made macaroons. If I would have discovered how easy they are to make years ago I’d be much fatter.

rydka Pants. Anyone seen ’em?

sween I said my wife looked like a badger. But, like, a really sexy badger.


shinyinfo How boring is it here in my hometown? My parents have a home made video of a nearby barn burning down titled “Barn Fire, 2009”

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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5 Responses to “Follow Friday”

  1. Derek August 13, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    That Nooner one, is about the funniest thing I ever read! Still snorting…

    • LittleBig August 14, 2010 at 8:49 pm #

      Pretty awesome, huh?

      I think it’s a little bit sad my FF posts are so popular, considering I didn’t do any of the writing! LOL

  2. momsmith August 13, 2010 at 9:33 pm #

    I was intrigued when I saw you tweet this link and was pleasantly surprised to find myself…on your list…I know where I am right now. I’m on my couch.

    I think.

    Thank you!

    • momsmith August 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm #

      Also, your daughter? ADORABLE!!!

      • LittleBig August 14, 2010 at 8:50 pm #

        Thank you so much! We think she’s cute, but we’re biased.

        I love collecting funny twitter peeps, so thank you.

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