Site Statistics

26 Aug

I think most people who have a blog have done at least one post about the phrases that people have searched for that led them to your blog. It’s easy to see why: a most bizarre side of human nature is revealed on your site statistics page. It’s sort of rare insight into oddities of the human mind; an inadvertent overshare.

Site statistics is very useful for letting you know which posts your readers respond to, and which ones attract the pervs. Probably my #1 perv-attracting post would have to be I’m tired of these mother fucking bees in this mother fucking house. Mostly because I drop the F-bomb twice in the title, but also because there is a percentage of humanity that is attracted to bee pr0n.  Really.

Pervy hits include:

Bee fucking

Mother insect fuck

Insect fucking

My god. Is this a Thing I’m not aware of? Never mind–don’t answer that.

I prefer to remain unaware.

Some of the search terms I find depress me, frankly. Someone found my blog by searching for “im tired of cats”?! Really? YOU ARE DEAD TO ME YOU IGNOBLE HUMAN BEING! HOW DARE YOU!

Also, you’ve so come to the wrong place.

Along with the pervy hits my bee post has brought me many visitors who I deeply sympathize with. In fact just reading their search phrases make me a bit anxious for them.

They have searched for terms including:

Multiple bees and wasps in my house daily

how to kill those fucking bees

multiple mud daubers coming inside my house

no more wasps inside

please help with wasps

If anyone reading this post now has found my blog by searching for bee help, then all the sympathy in the world to you, my friend. You have far greater problems than I. Vaya con dios.

I get a lot of people coming here looking for meal planning advice so I’m planning  some more menu planning and recipe posts soon. My iPhone app roundup posts are also frequently searched for so I’m going to do more of those, too.

Finally I’d like to give a shout out to people who found me in the most unlikely of ways: by searching for Eva Mendes. I have no idea how you found me, dear readers, but here you are. And you have no one to blame but yourself.

Not Eva Mendes

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6 Responses to “Site Statistics”

  1. wishingforhorses August 26, 2010 at 8:16 am #

    No kidding! I could dedicate a whole new page on the delights of spam comments and weirdo searches. Why, I’d like to know, does my Honey granola cereal recipe get 20 hits a day? Granola pr0n? Ouch!

  2. LittleBig August 26, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    Clearly you are very popular among horny hippies.

  3. Derek August 26, 2010 at 8:21 am #

    That’s funny, our fiction site’s most interesting search is for “Lucille ball spanking”. Apparently there was a movie in which there was a spanking scene that she was in.

    It actually makes some sense that google would direct to us as one chapter of the story (Which is about a housewife in the 60’s) is being spanked, and the character’s name is similar to Lucille.

    • LittleBig August 26, 2010 at 8:40 am #

      I could see how any mention of spaking would be a big hit. *ahem*

  4. Sunday August 26, 2010 at 10:29 pm #

    You know what I get every day? Some variation of “Crohn’s disease anger problems”. I swear. Like, sure. The answer is: yes. We have anger problems. It’s normal, relax.

    • LittleBig August 27, 2010 at 8:23 am #

      CROHN’S HULK RAGE! CROHN’S HULK SMASH! CROHN’S HULK LOOK TO INTERNET FOR SUPPORT GROUP!

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