Follow Friday: Respect the Hat

17 Sep

I’d like to preface this post with my deepest, sincerest apologies to Granny Weatherwax. Whatever it was that I did to deserve this last week, Ma’am, I am truly sorry. Please accept this basket of old clothes and baked goods.

This last week has been so monumentally shitty that a twitter friend suggested I must have pissed off a witch. And it’s true: Monday was pretty good considering I got caught up at work and at home and played with Isobel, but Tuesday I must have offended somebody because that’s when the ship started going down. First, I found out at the last minute that I had to take my mandatory TB test a year early due to budget cuts and this unfortunately coincided with a rather large amount of PMS. The event didn’t go well.  Then on Wednesday, a black widow got inside my house and tried to murder me and my daughter and actually crawled up my arm. I nearly DIED. (Post on that coming, I promise.) I killed it, but not enough, because later I found out it was still alive. Just when I thought this week couldn’t get any better, Thursday found me with a migraine so bad I was shaking and vomiting and not eating and wanting to die. I didn’t have my meds and had to spend over and hour on the phone arguing with the pharmacy and my doctor to get them. Then later that evening I had to put on some pants and get my TB shot checked. Life doesn’t get more glamorous than this.

Respect your local witches!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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PROMO_TWEET BUDWEISER: BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T BEEN SHOUTING AND/OR FARTING ENOUGH LATELY.

shinyinfo Having a RIGHT to do something doesn’t automatically mean it is a NICE thing to do.

thejohnblog Quality assurance is recording phone calls at work today, so while my line rings, I whisper “where are you mommy?” in a ghost child voice.

OngoingBS Meth use is up 60% in the U.S. this year. In a related news, tooth use is down 30%.

GerryDuggan Can somebody update Jenny McCarthy’s IMDB page to properly credit her with the whooping cough outbreak in California?

eareeve OMG. I’m awesome.

lurkey In Soviet Russia, Twitter follows you.

TheBlackStar Pretty sure the kid is trying to hump the vacuum.

robkroese Boss just walked by and said, “You still work here?” Probably not a good sign.

carlzoilus Keep your distance, tiny dancer. How old are you anyway? I could do time for that. #rockretractions

smileydoobyEvery once in a blue moon I’m like “holy shit, the moon has turned completely blue! Honey, get the camera!”

ApocalypseHow Scooby Doo is trending? Is Twitter high?

BugginWord You know what’s awesome? Sleep. I’d really like some of that.

JerryThomas I don’t think it’s fair to call us attention whores. Whores, after all, actually get paid.

LisaMcIntire My name is Lisa. I’m a grown-ass woman, and I love baby otters.

chickenscottpie @exlibris I sometimes miss having Internet friends, but then I remember the ones I seem to make always track me down and try to murder me

corycavin Final season of Oprah starts now. This season…SOMEONE. WILL. DIE.

sween I don’t need anything for my birthday because my wife is the best gift I could ever have. (She’s got boobies.)

danforthfrance Air drumming to NPR theme music.

matthewbaldwin Why I have half a mind to get another lobotomy.

lovelyandroid I just ousted all you fools as the mayor of flippin’ everything in life.

wawoodworth As a gamer, I loathe the term “game changer”. Unless it’s the change from 2nd edition to 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons, it doesn’t count.

nicpiper Lady Gaga’s meaty dress effort. I like her bacon boots. Am I too late to crack the joke ‘porker face’?

sockington eye open NOT IMPRESSED eye closed

molliekatie My rather lofty goals for tomorrow include not having my boobs compromise the structural integrity of my underthings.

AmandaStretch at what point do you think to yourself “I want to flip from metal bars swinging 100 ft in the air. Dressed like a bug.”?

themomsmith Let me bring you up to speed. We know nothing. You are now up to speed.

telephase Teen dance party tomorrow night at the library with DJ Invisible (Xzibit’s tour DJ). Considering making it rain with book marks.

robdelaney “Without exception, I kill and eat each baby I photograph.” – Anne Geddes

FakeAPStylebook Spell out the words “less than three” to avoid confusion with things you totally heart.

JoyfulC Secular government is the only true assurance of religious tolerance; religion must remain a private matter, not a public policy.

louisvirtel Finally, Lady Gaga is dressed like Candyland’s Queen Frostine. Bitch, call me, I’m Lord Licorice.

RailbirdJ What a crazy headache. It was like all the brilliance in my head was trying to get out at the same time.

OngoingBS I’ve never met a squirrel that wasn’t a complete asshole.

MeganBoley My right eye just shut down. Who needs depth perception anyway? #piratemom #mopthepoopdeckswithmilk

alonelyargonaut My big issue with electronica shows is that it looks like a dude checking his email for an hour…

songsstuck In those sunglasses, Bieber looks like the coolest mom ever.

fierceflawless Yay boys! Good for even more than I initially thought.

SarahIvy Finn has a special high pitched squeal reserved only for cats. I’m sure it haunts their nightmares.

thejohnblog ARE YOU READY FOR INDIFFERENCE TO SOME FOOTBALL?

Zaius13 I just saw a decapitated hen running around like a busy flustered person.

AFG85 Finally found a rationalist to make angry! I love the internet.

jberthume Spoiler alert: Halo: Reach is amazeballs.

BridgetCallahan I really want Oprah’s last book club pick to be Finnegan’s Wake.

shinyinfo If you only know @nathanfillion from Desperate Housewives I weep for your cold and empty life.

mommywantsvodka Victory tastes oddly like peanut butter.

himissjulie I think Mod Podge sounds like something you’d call a fat Beatles fan.

thejennui Spoiler: Clash of the Titans sucks Kracken. I’m sick! The gods should have guided me to a better movie.

palinode If mushrooms used the internet, I’d say to them “LOL mushrooms! You’re so slow and you live in poop!!1!”. I’d be a mushroom troll, I guess.

lilpyrogirl Hey y’all, I’ve had way too much to drink! I plan to regret this tomorrow!

PROMO_TWEET FRIDAY NIGHT: BROUGHT TO YOU BY “WOO!” WITH A GRANT FROM “FUCK YEAH!” AND FUNDING BY “YOU’RE A COP? SO WHAT- OW MY FACE

thegrumbles The good news is I sprayed my pants off with the hose.

pcsweeney Ah! The green light is on to indicate that number lock has been turned off.

smileydooby I’m gonna stick my pretzel so far into your M&M your gonna wish I had melted in your hand

TheRedQueen Is it nap time yet? Not that holding the baby while he cries isn’t totally fun or anything.

sesamestreet Big Bird: Even though Snuffy’s a Snuffleupagus and I’m a bird, we’re best friends. Friends don’t always have to be the same!

apelad It’s very hard to tell the difference between a player piano and a haunted piano.

val_forrestal There’s a reason kittens are so cute, & I’m pretty sure it’s so you don’t throw them out after they pee & poop on everything in your house.

StephenAtHome Judging by his mustache, I am worried that Terry Jones is suffering from late-stage Hulkamania.

JerryThomas Corporate America looks at me only as a potential revenue stream. Boy, are they going to be disappointed.

freudiantypo Melville had no idea how hilarious a nickname “Ginger Nut” was.

ApocalypseHow Atheists having sex: “Oh Logic! Oh COLD IMPERSONAL LOGIC!”

NASeason What is the organization that “certifies” professional organizers? Our Lady of Storables? #hoarders

louispeitzman At Blackbird for Brendon’s birthday. Unfortunately, I don’t use foursquare, so this trip was basically useless.

alwysabridesmd OMG hipsters get away from my car you will scratch it with your abrasive views on art, music and culture. #srsly

wordlust Be the change you want to see behind the couch cushions.

melanierenzulli I love the equalizing nature of twitter. Regular people are so much more interesting than celebs on here!

mommywantsvodka You shut your whore mouth and APPLAUD when “don’t ask, don’t tell” is FINALLY ruled unconstitutional and discriminatory.

midwestgrrl I’m wearing the handwarmers I knitted & I keep staring down at them in fascination like, “I have made this functional garment!”

GeneHunt US scientists have invented a car that runs on water! Apparently it only works with water from the Gulf of Mexico.

FakeAPStylebook If you have a ladder first and then a farmer later, the ladder is the former and the farmer is the latter.

thejohnblog I think it’s fairly obvious Mr. Belvedere was an ass man.

BackpackingDad Have an opinion. It doesn’t cost you anything except friends you don’t want.

AHGinCLE And now, I would like to recap today through a moment of interpretive dance.

heardatlibrary She looked deep into his eyes and said “Shelve it yourself, you son of a bitch” #lastlineofbadromancenovels

Sigafoos @FakeAPStylebook Don’t forget Ben Franklin. He’s my favorite person to cite as having said crap I just made up.

simontarr Everything depends on my getting this bacon done right.

Phineas I didn’t know they even still made 6am.

AnissaMayhew Hello, morning. Thank you for sucking everyday.

wolfwalking Update: bored.

michaeljnelson Less Than Zero: in retrospect, perhaps Twilight isn’t that bad.

heardatlibrary “I’m looking for this book my granddaughter likes. Headbook?” Do you mean Facebook? “Yes! She said I’d like the farm in it!”

wordlust I had a Pavement-gasm tonight. Might be my favorite concert ever. Suck it, other concerts.

Jesus_M_Christ And the Lord said unto all his haters, “Fucketh ye all of ye. If ye don’t like me bloweth me.”

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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4 Responses to “Follow Friday: Respect the Hat”

  1. momsmith September 17, 2010 at 7:18 pm #

    It will haunt my dreams if I don’t disclose that my tweet was a quote from Pink Panther 2.

    Also, your cat. I think it wants to eat me or the little dog who is sitting on my lap.

    • LittleBig September 18, 2010 at 7:36 am #

      Jupiter isn’t that much of a savage. Poppy, on the other hand…

      I love that tweet, though, I think it’s the perfect update for twitter.

  2. OmarKalifornia September 18, 2010 at 4:51 pm #

    I love Isobel’s devotion to what I think might be the TV. I saw the picture yesterday, but came back to comment and while viewing it on the comp, I realize she has your braw, hahahaha!

    • LittleBig September 19, 2010 at 7:56 am #

      Not the TV in general, but she has a fanatic devotion to Yo Gabba Gabba, something I’m sure you’ll be familiar with soon enough! Also, she grabbed my bra out of the closet, ‘put it on’ and then went to watch TV. Children are so funny.

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