Follow Friday – ARRRR! Super Special Meme Edition!

24 Sep

Originally I was going to start this post off with the triumphant news that I was guest blogging today at Mommy Wants Vodka, but due to John C. Mayer programming technicalities, my slot has been moved to next Friday. Don’t worry, though, my obsessive tweets will remind you. I’m so very proud Aunt Becky asked me to guest blog because everyone knows that if bee’s had kness, they would look like Aunt Becky’s face.

In other news Flickr is being stupid and dumb and it was a bitch to figure out how to use my own goddamn photos in this post. We took Isobel to the Greek Food Festival this last weekend and had a great time eating things I can’t pronounce. She especially loved the pastries. It made me miss the Skandifest we used to hold in our town.


It’s been a very meme-y week! Here are some you should know aobut to fully appreciate these tweets.

  • Last week twitter celebrated Talk Like A Pirate Day! In honor of this holiday I’ve sprinkled this post with bolded pirate-y tweets. Yarr.
  • I have added another new section to Follow Friday which shall remain as long as it’s amusing. Have you ever seen 50cents’ tweets? They are amusingly unintelligeble. The only thing that could possibly make his tweets even funnier is if someone decided to tranlate them using proper OED English. Thus, English 50cent was born. This twitter account that describes itself as “A translation service for English-speaking 50cent fans.” Please enjoy Words of Wisdom from English 50cent.
  • Something very shitty for human rights this week. I’m talking about those Senate assholes are filibustering the repeal of the DADT. GREAT JOB DENYING UPHOLDING THE CONSTITUTION BY DENYING PEOPLE BASIC RIGHTS, SENATORS. I hope my sarcasam burns you from way over here. I hope it burns you in the face.
  • Facebook broke. I guess? For awhile? Anyway, people said some funny things about it, so there’s that.
  • Someone invented the “Sad Musicals” meme, where they change the name of a musical slightly to make it sad. I find musicals to be “meh” but sad musical tweets are quite entertaining.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.


TheBloggess If I could kick this day in the balls I totally would.

AHGinCLE And with that, I ate my popsicle, and reflected on how today tried to make me its bitch.

jessamyn Oh god. Forgot about small sack of birdseed left on porch. Came home to what appeared to be remnants from a wildlife kegger.

AKbirder The bartender asks “what’s that steering wheel doing in your pants?” The pirate answers, “Aaaarg, it’s driving me nuts”.

thejohnblog I want Luby’s to rename the Luann platter the “What-what,” because to hear old people say “Can I get a what-what” would be AWESOME.

DamienFahey If Meg Whitman loses will she have to go back to being the guy on the Quaker Oats box?

FrankConniff The Pope is trying to be hip and contemporary with his new Twitter account, “Shit My God Says.”

mrpilkington I said to myself earlier today the day would not be complete until I called the police: the day is now complete.

biorhythmist: There’s no “I” in “denial”.

fuck you, flickr

Bagyants My new strategy for getting called on in class: Indignantly tell the professor “MY EYES ARE UP HERE.”

robdelaney Every time you fart as you’re walking through first class getting on a plane, Jesus high-fives your grandmother.

ApocalypseHow “Avast, matey! Tis one of the brothers Baldwin!” #gawklikeapirateday

louispeitzman The best tweets are the ones that take several follow-up tweets to explain.

phaemarie According to my husband I’m doing really well in the fantasy football league I didn’t know I was in.

mikey_m00n Hot Dogs are the American Cheese of Sausages. <—-This made sense to me in my sleep.

louispeitzman Thank God impressionable infants won’t be able to see cleavage on Sesame Street. It’s not like they SUCKLE MILK FROM BOOBS DAILY.

ApocalypseHow “Soon I be posting the ‘seat strap’ sign, indicating it’s arrrright to limp about the cabin.”#talklikeapilotday

BackpackingDad Jesus Christ WWE Superstar #sadmusicals

louispeitzman Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Daddy Issues. #sadmusicals

louisvirtel You’re an Unfeeling Misanthrope, Charlie Brown #sadmusicals

BadAstronomer Lent #SadMusicals

danforthfrance If I scratch my cat on just the right spot, she makes the face we all make when hearing really good blues.

Fuck you, Flickr

thejohnblog Email from family: “Bored while Facebook is down. Don’t you have a blog and one of those Twitters?” FACEBOOK! RIGHT THAT SHIP, PEOPLE! NOW!

ninjapoodles Whoever has been in charge of Burger King’s ad campaigns for the last couple years should be fired. Out of a cannon.

themomsmith I put on pants. I KNOW.

librarianearp Alright, who smells like pee?

ApocalypseHow “Why be I outside yar window with a monocular? No reason…” #stalklikeapirateday

Bagyants When life hands you Mondays, you punch life right in its stupid face.

dughall Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

JerryThomas The very best puns always end with somebody dying.

TheDollSays Facebook users are roaming the streets in tears, shoving photos of themselves in people’s faces and screaming ‘DO YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU??’

inktwice There’s nothing quite like finding a full heart container.

Bagyants I hate awkward silences. As soon as I feel one coming on, I just scream MOTORBOAT!!! at the top of my lungs.

yowhatsthehaps I typed “make me dinner” into the Google and nothing happened. Ugh, I hate computers!

badbanana My headache has just been issued its own ZIP code.

thejohnblog Well, if it was “Smell Like A Pirate Day” I would be doing it right.

Phineas I get scared and upset thinking about how many iTunes app reviewers are probably also US voters.

neilgrayston I have a harmonica shaped like a corncob. The package calls it a cornymonica. Clearly, it should be called a harmonicorn.

CMastication “I can hardly check email because Bittorrent has totally saturated my bandwidth.” #talkLikeAPirate

joshcomers I have so little to say and so many forums to say it in.

stevelibrarian If I did a library podcast, I think I’d call it “No Shushing”

evilnick 60% of the adult human body is made up of water. Or in my case, coffee

OPB BREAKING NEWS: Facebook is down. Worker productivity rises. U.S. climbs out of recession.

drewtoothpaste Prison wine is made by fermenting juice in a warm place with a pressure valve. A sippy cup left under a car seat, for example. #toddlerhacks

fuck you, flickr

OngoingBS My 3yo daughter wanted to play tea party, so we lectured Rainbow Bright on why she can’t marry, then yelled “2+2=4” over & over while crying.

librarianearp Dammit Jim, I’m a sexy doctor, not a sexy scientist!

ApocalypseHow “Now ye shall walk the plank, NERD!”#jocklikeapirateday

hotdogsladies Why didn’t you “like” my “star” of your “fave” of my reblog of your tweet about social media? I thought we were “friends.”

ohnoCAPSLOCK Before I had a toddler, I never knew the joy that is tap-dancing in the kitchen before breakfast.

midwestgrrl No matter how I pimp the timeline, 2 of the most oft-used words in my Twitter career are “hate” & “people.” Working on adding “misanthrope.”

lilpyrogirl Words with friends does not recognize the word “Pervy”. It must not follow you guys on Twitter.

mathowie Jeez, you wake up with a couple pimples developing on your philtrum and suddenly everyone is calls you “Zitler”

kerrianne I suppose sticky notes with hand-written directions stuck to the back of my iPhone defeats some sort of greater purpose, but…well.

ceanders “yarr, those seams between the planks need be water tight!” #caulklikeapirateday

wordlust Only 11,251 shopping days till Ragnarok.

thejohnblog Clearly, the worst thing about not knowing if this is my last day at work is how heavy my messenger bag is with stolen office supplies.

helgagrace YAY THURSDAY. #reversepsychology

wawoodworth Reading tweets from 50Cent is like opening a series of Chinese fortune cookies full of gangster advice.

English50cent I suffer from a classic case of what Freud termed ‘castration anxiety’.

English50cent My penis has magical powers that only work when it is seen by the naked eye.

English50cent My lovemaking is so rigorous I damage furniture and farming equipment falls on me.

English50cent I enjoy blowing up poos. I have the ability to be an adult-film actor. I am having a cerebrovascular accident.

stevelibrarian According to Star Trek: TNG, the Slow, Sarcastic Clap survives into the 24th century.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.


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