Follow Friday – Solo Parenting Edition

21 Jan

I’ve successfully accomplished week one of solo parenting. Only one more week to go!

(P.S., that sound you hear is me sobbing into a pillow.)

Tonight just might require sushi.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.

GailSimone No one really sucks until they Seacrestfully suck.

Brain_Wash As far as I can tell, cats are a secretive race of highly skilled pimps.

StephenAtHome Turns out the cast of Hair should have been singing “The Dawning of the Age of Capricorn.”

PinkPeonies Happiness is warm cat purring on your lap.

DamienFahey Going to start flushing the toilet on conference calls from now on. Let them try and figure it out.

peterbyrnes In Los Angeles, car alarms are only useful to inform you in unison that yes, that was an earthquake.

DaveHolmes Randy Jackson just said “It’s gonna be weird sitting at that table thinking WOW- it’s a different table!” Difficult to dispute.

sucittaM It’s cute that Amazon sends me Valentine’s Day gift ideas, as if my wife expects more than just dinner and homemade sex coupons.

chickenscottpie I feel like I sound like the village idiot when I leave voicemail. Like I’d be more eloquent if I just screamed “Calling! Telephone!”

WhyIsDaddyCryin I feel pretty confident that I’m pregnant.

MrWordsWorth ‘I went to ancestry.com, and soon, I was chatting up sexy ancestors from my family tree!’ Ad concepts gone horribly wrong.

strnglibrarian “DICK” is yelled on the other side of the room. Then I realize someone is talking to Richard who is hard of hearing.

Lilacmess Working on a powerpoint about American cultural myths for my class and using Justin Bieber as a rhetorical punching bag #FTW

trelvix A telemarketer just called and asked for my cat. He didn’t use those exact words but that’s what he meant. Cat’s like, “Dude. Stop calling.”

trelvix “Hello. May I speak to Ivy, please?”  You want to talk to my cat? Okay. Just a second. Pinch it off, Ivy! Phone!

 

someecards Using ‘Force Quit’ makes me feel like a jedi knight.

SimonNRicketts I haven’t got a Nintendo Wii. I just turn on Fox News and throw punches at the telly from 10 feet away. Cheaper version. Knackered now.

Tweetin4Palin Everyone start likin’ me again & talk about how pretty & feisty I am or I’m holdin’ my breath til my Bumpit explodes.

LisaMcIntire Leave France alone! RT @kanyewest: Just saw on MSNBC they said I tried to start a twitter war with Brittany.

AndyCronin Twitter= I need to pee. Facebook= I peed! Foursquare= I’m peeing here. Quora= Why am I peeing? Youtube= Watch this pee! LinkedIn= I pee well

Bagyants If they couldn’t handle Ricky Gervais I hope these douchebags never find twitter.

DamienFahey I’m excellent at guessing which people entering CVS are headed to the “Stuff for Your Butt” aisle.

wishing4horses The kids just left to go have lunch out. I sighed at the sudden quite. PS, I have a backhoe running in my backyard.

theRratedBull My wife just opened the blinds. This shit just got real.


Jesus_M_Christ I mean, sure I’ll take the wheel, but I’m kinda drunk.

louispeitzman If I don’t reply to your message, it’s because my assistant is on vacation. Just kidding! I never let my assistant take vacations.

shinyinfo I just paid off some library fines, I feel clean again.

Brain_Wash When they stand together, Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, and Randy Jackson look kind of like the worst Twilight sequel ever.

TheRedQueen Wearing these boots was maybe a mistake. But I look cute, so not a total loss.

 

thebenbrooks I love when Sarah Palin speaks her mind, it’s like half a haiku.

CMastication Anything worth doing is worth doing to a compulsive level of excess which causes your spouse to question your sanity.

ScrewyDecimal Lots of friends are talking about the Jets today. It’s nice to see that so many people still enjoy West Side Story.

thebookmaven Necessity is the mother of the download.

tommycm I am watching the football like a proper lad. I shouted ‘tits’ at the television.

Dalevich Country music. Because no matter how bad life gets, it can always get worse with a bit of effort.

foldinglaundry PSA: hair bows should never be larger than the child’s head. EVER.

sucittaM The fact that the self-checkout computer doesn’t say “This shit is bananas” when scanning bananas seems like a wasted opportunity.

al3x I’m going to start sneaking the phrase “the most sophisticated cyberweapon ever deployed” into the READMEs for everything I write.

squeekzoid The tag on my new pants says KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE in big red letters. Aww damn, now what am I gonna wear to hell?

colsonwhitehead My life coach just told me he’s not a life coach. He just “went along with it” that day I started talking to him.

God_Damn_Batman You either die a hero or you live long enough to see your sidekick come home with a Justin Bieber haircut.

Just_PYKA Even after I told him I was gonna hit the sack, he lay there on the floor moaning in pain, as if he didn’t see it coming.

MrWordsWorth If your avatar is a sack with a dollar sign, and you aren’t Teenage Fanclub or Snidely Whiplash, I am blocking you.

inversejaik Wasn’t aware about Kate Middleton’s modeling work. If enough royals die in a timely matter, she’ll become the UK’s first modern QuILF.

badbanana I’ve developed positive feelings towards my captors. Love you, couch and Cheetos.

pistolval The inevitable collapse of society is probably not a great retirement plan, but its all I have.

louisvirtel My sign changed and now I’m Prince.

gabedelahaye Starting a clothing line for nerds called All Fear.

amazingsoup disappointed that markie.biz is not biz markie’s website. you. you don’t got what i need.

swamibooba I’m keeping warm by shoulder popping and twirling. But no jazz hands, those make me overheat.

Ch8rming Planning for the zombie apocalypse is the new planning for retirement.


 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.


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12 Responses to “Follow Friday – Solo Parenting Edition”

  1. shinyinfo January 21, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    amazingsoup disappointed that markie.biz is not biz markie’s website. you. you don’t got what i need.

    ZOMG! You’re right! That actually makes me angry!!!! Get on that shizz, Biz!

    • LittleBig January 22, 2011 at 11:38 am #

      If only I would have known when we went and saw him at Yo Gabba Gabba live. I could have rushed the stage with urgent news to change his website. I’m sure he would have appreciated it.

  2. Andrea January 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    chickenscottpie I feel like I sound like the village idiot when I leave voicemail. Like I’d be more eloquent if I just screamed “Calling! Telephone!”

    Truer truth has never been spoken.

  3. laura January 22, 2011 at 12:10 am #

    ahhh, she’s getting so big!

    • LittleBig January 22, 2011 at 11:40 am #

      She’s so freaking huge, Laura.

  4. Kristi January 22, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Saw this link and totally though of you!

    http://www.cleverthingstosay.com/2010/01/28/space-and-the-y-axis/

    Ew, I just typed totally. Totally said it in my head too.

    • LittleBig January 22, 2011 at 11:42 am #

      Aw, so awesome!

      And Kristi, I’m from California. We say “totally” fifteen times a day. In fact, it’s legally written into our marriage vows.

      Minister: “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

      Me: “Totally.”

  5. Jupiter January 22, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    That’s a great Tweet of the week.

    Congrats on surviving parenting solo! I was a single mom of 3 for quite a few years. Now I get totally freaked out at having to take the kids to the store alone.

    • LittleBig January 22, 2011 at 11:42 am #

      I think you, and all others who survived as Single Parents for any length of time, deserve some sort of Congressional Medal.

  6. dingey January 23, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    ScrewyDecimal Lots of friends are talking about the Jets today. It’s nice to see that so many people still enjoy West Side Story.

    The fact that this tweet is somehow the one that made me laugh hardest probably speaks more of my personal nerd level than it speaks of anything else. From your first cigarette till your last dying day, motherfucker.

    • LittleBig January 24, 2011 at 11:36 am #

      As usual, Dingey, we are on the same wavelength.

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