The Apron & Predictive Twitters

14 Apr

Thank you so much for the support here and on twitter and in your thoughtful emails. I’ve thought about this a long time and I really feel it is the right one, however scary it may be. Thanks to proddings from April, I’m posting photos of me in the Wonder Woman apron I bought after writing this links post. I puchased it here.

The latest toy on the internet is this website, which scans your tweets and takes the words you’ve used and forms a predictive tweet based on your very own words. Really, it was only a matter of time before the internet used your words against you, anyway. Here are some of my favorites from my stream:

"Turn the camera like this, Anthony."

The motivational speaker circuit! Call Oprah! She needs to throw up from nervous!

Yes. Iced the neighbor’s pitt bull that Fri.

You are so much as I have boobs, too.

That means a diaper, and encouragement.

I’m grateful. Spontaneous Zucchini Fritters are so down for me.

Your poor tummy: And Colon Cleanses.

One day when we’re in a diaper, the favorite end to feel bad.

That’s ok. Carpet Dude is cat named Michael who spells it out.

I missed the painter of contraceptives?

Best! Enema! Ever! I’ll make Hater Greeting Cards.

That’s the Pants Are Dumb philosophy.

I can get a salad purchased from a butt text! Wow. Gross.

I’ll never quit twitter! My brain is numb.

I need autocorrect. Hater.

I’m going to pimp it hurts. AWKWARD! Call Oprah! I guarantee it hurts.

Am sad I can’t have two months to party! Hater.

 

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8 Responses to “The Apron & Predictive Twitters”

  1. lilpyrogirl April 14, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I LOVE the apron and the idea that I can be soooooo annoying as to incite a blog post. And that website is badass, no? I laughed so hard I cried yesterday. Three of my favorites besides the “I should look adorable. He looks like bad decisions” one are:

    “So far 76 people have taken pictures of your medical issue.”
    “My boss said you look like the gyno. So I’m drinking wine at 11pm ET!”
    and my very most favorite possible tweet:
    “I shall foil your evil plot with a duck in the NHL all-stars skills competition!”

    I swear I’ll get a wonder woman apron one day and we’ll have to photoshop ourselves into one picture so we look like twin super heros. It will terrify the universe’s bad guys into doing good…I just know it.

    • LittleBig April 14, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

      Yours are THE BEST I’VE SEEN. OMG. “He looks like bad decisions.” OMG.

  2. SaritaFajita April 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    I totally want to get that apron….for my husband. 😀

    The twitter predictor seems to think that all my tweets are dirty and wrong–

    “Mah mouf hurts. I expected this year before doing it hard time for some Jiffy Pop. Time for gas.”

    “About 12 more dangerous than the giddy one in the good ol’ days, aww…Let’s do you pump your bare hand?”

    “Mmm…I got a good ol’ fashioned manual labor! Tell your boyfriend, if it was in.”

    Reeeeally.

    • LittleBig April 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm #

      Tell your boyfriend!!

      Oh. MY.

  3. Anne April 15, 2011 at 6:33 am #

    After reading this yesterday evening, my husband and I sat on the loveseat with our laptops getting one hilarious result after another. Some of my faves:

    Cute! Today is less about me! Oh, work PC. I condemn pay-per-use models for my head. — http://thatcan.be/my/next/tweet

    Thanks! Rieslings are such a wine helps with germination, but it is! I started lettuces in the gutter. — http://thatcan.be/my/next/tweet

    and my personal fave, because it just sums me on twitter right up:

    Blogged at LibrariAnne: yum! Another cute BT! Another cute BT! Another cute BT! Another Cute Alert! — http://thatcan.be/my/next/tweet

    My hub (@framston) tends to tweet mostly about the things that frustrate him, as evidenced by this:

    Hate, hate, hate. Oh, loathing too. Think I could do with much less programming. — http://thatcan.be/my/next/tweet

    • LittleBig April 15, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

      “I condemn pay-per-use models for my head.”

      BWAAA HAA HAAAA! Your husband’s is pretty sweet as well!

  4. TheBlackStar (@TheBlackStar) January 6, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    I am pretty sure I just broke the “That can be my next tweet” thing. It’s been stuck on loading for awhile now. I am unsure what that says about my tweeting habits.

    • TheBlackStar (@TheBlackStar) January 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

      Okay, I got it going.
      with things like this:

      “I am pretty sure it’s not only one go flying out of me. Maybe I managed to remember to coffee.”

      “Stef, Carrie Anne, & Lots of my glasses always smells like the bathroom. so I handed it in it.”

      “HA!” – Seems rather short and brief…

      “If I say anything about feral always wins. I wanted to be above us out of drinks, first.”

      okay, I guess I should get back to work.

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