A Hard-Boiled Detective Story

23 Apr

This story is something I orginally posted as a flickr set a few years ago. It amuses me and is Easter-themed, so I thought I’d share. It’s pretty ridiculous. You’ve been warned.

Shortly after Easter it was reported that Mr. Easter Peep, former resident of the oblong terrarium, was missing after he failed to show up at his job teaching Pilates at the Y.

After doing our initial investigation, we noticed this suspicious character hanging around. We brought him back to the station for questioning.

In addition to Furball we rounded up the neighbors, which included several of Mr. Easter Peep’s relatives.

Tiddlywinks the hamster was not involved in the investigation. He just likes to hang out at the station and drink free coffee.

Mr. Chickowski was up first. He lost a leg in the war and is a grizzled veteran. We thought nothing could get to him.

He kept nervously looking over his shoulder as I questioned him. He insisted he saw nothing unusual in the neighborhood before the Easter Peep’s disappearance.

Nothing unusual, hmmm? So what about the usual?

Mr. Easter Peep’s youngest brother, Easter Peep 3, could not be reached for comment. Or rather, he could, we just couldn’t understand him.

Next I questioned the middle child in the Peep family: Easter Peep 2. He was very alarmed and we couldn’t get much out of him either.

Next we questioned Fluffball himself–Mr. Zorro. He was chatting in the waiting room with Easter Peep 2 when we called him in.

He claimed total innocence.

Then we got our first big break in the case: an anonymous tipster called in with the whereabouts of the remains of Mr. Easter Peep. We never heard from the tipster again and wonder what happened to him.

The body of the Easter Peep! Found on the mean streets not a block away from his home.

The case is not truly closed. His killer is still on the loose, ready to strike again at any moment.


10 Responses to “A Hard-Boiled Detective Story”

  1. Stella April 24, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    I like your idea of using succulents in terrariums. My little moisture lovers have the tendency to rot despite the fact that I use charcoal.

    • LittleBig April 25, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

      Succulents really hate for their “feet” to be wet. They like their roots to dry thoroughly between waterings. That and too much moisture on the leaves lead to rotting. I really just went with succulents because they are my fave, but they aren’t the best suited to terrarium life.

  2. Cookbook April 25, 2011 at 9:30 am #

    Fluffball is hiding something.

    • LittleBig April 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

      Fluffball is ALWAYS hiding something.

  3. purplequark April 26, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

    The butler cat did it

  4. Beth April 28, 2011 at 8:21 am #

    I WANT YOUR CAT!!!! I just want to snuggle that white neck!

  5. Marie April 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm #

    I love this story! I am going to pass it on to my husband to use in the classroom. English teachers are always trying to get the students to think creatively and use language in stories but they always forget they can draw on actual events.

    • LittleBig April 29, 2011 at 11:06 am #

      Please do! I’d be thrilled if this helped anyone learn English, but they’re sure to form some strange ideas about Americans.

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