Follow Friday – Doomsday Edition

20 May

Awhile back when my friends and I took a trip to SF for my bestie’s birthday we happened to see a van, decorated with warnings about the apocalypse painted all over it. Strange, I thought. Isn’t the apocalypse supposed to be next year? I didn’t think this movement was very large or vocal until I started hearing snippets about it on Twitter. Tweets about the impending (and patently ridiculous) apocalypse flooded my timeline in the best way possible.

Today’s post is also dedicated to Inge, a children’s librarian who once quoted obscure Beck Hansen song lyrics with me when I was having a bad day thereby securing my online friendship for life. When Mayor Bloomberg proposed drastic cuts in NYC’s library services, a bunch of her kids wrote postcards asking him not to cut funding so the libraries remain open. Those appear throughout the post in bold. Take that, Mayor Buttface!

 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.


thesulk “I’ve got 99 problems and I’m not dealing with any of them.” (Lay-Z)

beaumartian Asked Gabi if she wanted me to go buy her Sprite. She told me what she needs instead is “a little bit more toys.”

Caissie Bad news: I just sneezed 23 times in a row. Worse news: The Today Show hasn’t booked me yet. Good news: Pelvic floor muscles held out!

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from kid: “Please don’t close the library. They got the best workers.”

eareeve I will henceforth refer to Google as “the Goog”. #hip

wordlust Better to jump the gun than hump the machete.

Irish_girlie I wish Urban Dictionary had a reverse feature, where you type in what you want to say and a cool word with that meaning pops up.

sarahbartlett 40 minutes of a full body cardio workout while wearing baby should count for more than 198cals burned.

colinsteele There’s a guy on my mbta bus with a cassette walkman. Apparently I’m on Route 1988.

paulapoundstone Remember when Scarlet O’hara gets sick of war? That’s how I feel about cat pee lately.

Sigafoos Just had a carne alotta burrito from Mighty Taco. It was like a rapture in my mouth!

letsgetgizzy Eating at Arby’s is the new cutting yourself.

palinode I’m glad I’m not friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger. They just don’t make cards for these kinds of situations.

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from a kid: “Listen. Save the library, you loser.”

chaddfoy Anybody know if this Saturday’s Rapture is BYOB?

VHStapes2 I’m too scared to get my nipples pierced so I’m getting clip-ons.

tommycm been using ‘bob dylan’ as a euphemism for going to the toilet for some time now.

OhHereWeGo Male friends: DM me if you don’t want me to date your ex-girlfriends and be specific about which ones.

mommywantsvodka Hmmmmm, maybe I’d better write my book: “Shhhhh, Baby, Mama’s Hungover,” before Rapture.

emilybilbrey being a mom = never getting to eat your own toast again.

JohnRossBowie Another L.A. Noire mission: You’re fucking starving to death but the line at In-N-Out is 20 cars deep.

telephase @exlibris When I’m raptured and you’re not on Saturday, you can have my souvenir crystal bell collection. #friends

theleanover I thought a Foursquare meant when you had 2 stars and 2 retweets all from different people on your Favstar page. Whoops.

MagpieLibrarian Another postcard from a kid: “They have books that we like and they have the best librarians. You have holes in your brain.”

badbanana I’m a nervous eater. I keep thinking my neighbors will wake up and find me eating all their food.

DaveHolmes When the holy folks get zapped up to Heaven on 5/21, I imagine they’ll immediately start arguing over who’s going to Superheaven, and when.

MeganBoley I almost just complained about being too full with sushi. What!? Dumbest complaint ever.

chickenscottpie @exlibris Seriously, nature. What kind of idiot thinks it’s a good plan to just dump water all over everything?

Ahm76After I smelled that flower, I got confused about my sexuality. Am I florasexual? It’s been a long time since anyone’s pollinated my stigma.

antigone_spit Passed a guy wearing a Spaghetti-Os shirt. I want to be his best friend.

KeepingYouAwake @exlibris We’re just old enough to feel like the world is going to shit, and everyone’s forgetting what’s important. Let’s go buy iPads.

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from a kid: “Dear Mayor Buttface, Please don’t close the library and defenity do not fier Inge. Thank you.”

brookbristow Donald Trump can now relax since he won’t run for President. Finally, he can let his hair down.

Caissie Trump ISN’T running for President? Was starting to look forward to rivulets of sweat/haircolor/bronzer dripping down his face at debates. 😦

kenrudin The fact that there was once serious talk about what “impact” Donald Trump would make as a candidate makes me question my entire existence.

sarcasmically In totally unsurprising news, I received 19 compliments on my Star Wars shirt in one 25-minute trip to Best Buy.

SaraJOY Let’s count the tweets I’ve deleted so far today shall we? ONE! ha ha ha. TWO! ha ha ha. THREE! ha ha ha. FOUR! ha ha ha…

slapclap I hear the theme song to JURASSICPARK whenever I see someone inNew York use a payphone.

stevelibrarian I was going to respond to that Seth Godin blog but I’m too busy stockpiling for the Rapture at the end of the week.

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from a kid: ‎”Mayor Bloomberg you smell like cheese. Don’t cut the libraries fund.”

corrinrenee I ironed my shirt with my flat iron and my hair is up in a ponytail. That should give you an idea of how my day started.

sarcasmically Let’s pretend I lost my voice while doing something super hardcore, and not while singing along to Boyz II Men loudly in my Subaru wagon, k?

JohnFugelsang I’d like to thank FamilyRadio.com for all the billboards telling our children exactly how they’ll suffer & die on Saturday.

MagpieLibrarian Hey Monday. Come say that to my face.

neiltyson Birds at the launch site are surely thinking to themselves: “These humans have come a long way with their artificial wings”

mammalpants I like to google things like,”when is the effing apocalypse because I’m burned out. do you hear me god? send a horse on fire soon”

theRratedBull There’s an old church hymn called “Angry Words.” I like to sing it to people every time I catch them playing “Angry Birds.”

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from a kid: “Mayor Batface (??). U suck.”

That_Biz Texting my husband from the ipod, but I don’t think I’m remember his phone number right. So maybe I’m NOT texting my husband.

neiltyson Would a NASA reality show “LunarShore” be more popular than “JerseyShore?” Civilization’s future depends on that answer.

ajthizzle It’s a bad sign that I got myself back to sleep early this morning by thinking of different ways to quit my job. This is how I relax.

John_M15 One in five Americans believe that Bin Laden is still alive. Let me guess, the same ones that think Obama is fromKenya?

th3jm4n I need to develop a super power. Villainy just isn’t worth it unless you’re destroying things on a global scale.

iasshole Trying to convince 6 y.o. that the purpose of medicine is not delicious mouth entertainment.

palinode I managed to turn my roasted garlic bruschetta ambitions into a bowl of mac and cheese tonight.

jillgengler Just had Words with my kitchen garbage can. Not going to lie… I think it came out on top in that exchange.

MagpieLibrarian “I can get a book with my library card. You suck at your job. Please don’t take the librarries money.”

lilpyrogirl It’s not the sunburned outline of sunglasses that makes me a redneck, it’s that I bought a moonpie & ran over an armadillo on the way home.

wishing4horses Today’s naptime dream: Me and Jamie Lee Curtis mom-paddling in an LA pool. Swear, no more gin at lunch!

emilyrm Mariah Carey wanted to make sure her twins were delivered to one of her songs AND they call them “Roc and Roe”. Excuse me, I have to barf.

ScrewyDecimal Telling me “Stop worrying or you’ll get wrinkles” won’t make me stop worrying. It will only give me something new to worry about.

davepolak Just re-heated some pulled pork in bacon grease. That’s how I roll.

theRratedBull “Jennifer Garner… I think she’s married to Affleck.” The Teen looked confused, so I added, “The actor, not the duck.” “Ahhhhhh!”

petersagal Elvis Costello tonight. If I keep going, one of these days he’ll look out in the crowd and notice me.

snickerswiggle I’m looking at a customer whose shirt, belt & boots are bedazzled. Coincidentally, I am questioning the lifechoices that brought me here.

eareeve harem pants are great for not flashing my gentles in public but still allowing me to be comfortable.

LmaoAtThisGuy I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking… scared the hell out of me. So that’s it, after today… no more reading.

inktwice Denny’s is for winners.

himissjulie “Wow, you speak French?” “No, I just know enough to pronounce things with a lot of *hwaough*.” #reference

MagpieLibrarian Postcard from kid: “Stopp pllease. You are cutting libraries. Stop firing librarians. You suck. Give me a job. I need food.”

theleanover Saw some dude with a tattoo of Calvin pissing on a scorpion. I, for one, welcome next Saturday’s end times. #rapture

joshjs Potential Nerd Rock Band Name: Academia Nuts

shinyinfo Oh em gee, Party In The USA is on at the deli. I not-so secretly love this shitty song. It’s likeWhiteCastle in music form.

rolldiggity I know social media is supposed to replace newspapers, but I’ll never get used to draping myself across homeless people while they sleep.

theleanover I’m always devastated when I raise my arms and make the “whoooosh!” noise and it doesn’t make me fly like Superman.

massagebyted Oh, yeah, I suppose I would let a female Klingon do me with a strap-on. You know, if it was for the good of the Federation and stuff.

MeganBoley There comes a time in a young boy’s life when he must be dressed in jorts and paraded around his dad’s office at lunchtime.

trumpetcake Free coffee at Starbuck’s today, if you ask in a robot voice! OH WAIT. Never mind. The robot in front of me had a coupon.

MrWordsWorth When I see that ad that says ‘what’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, I instinctively say ‘a naked woman!’

helgagrace Why does my hip hurt? I’m pretty sure I haven’t been exercising without my knowledge.

nicpiper @exlibris Wow! Your blog looks space age on this iPad. It’s like the future had sex with a typewriter!

letsdiefriends Question: “Will I hate myself in 5 years for wearing a tiny sombrero?” Answer: no way.

goodinthestacks I finally hit it big! @Franklin the Turtle is following me. I hope he knows what he’s getting into.

shinyinfo For all the people who will undergo an Assumption on Saturday: Don’t be a dick, leave your keys in your car. #RapturePSA

notthatkendall I want to thank the makers of Nintendo for making me believe I have the power to fix household objects by just blowing into them.

 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.


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9 Responses to “Follow Friday – Doomsday Edition”

  1. Bethylicious May 20, 2011 at 5:52 am #

    I ran across this searching for blogs with the word “photography” as a tag & I’ve been browsing…you’re hilarious 🙂 This put a smile on my face!

  2. Liz May 20, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    oh my god. you do this every week? I love it. freaking hilarious. WHY am I not following more of these people? I must go rectify this now.

    • LittleBig May 20, 2011 at 10:41 am #

      Every week, lady. I’m a FF machine.

  3. Kara May 21, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    I just found you! Not that you were lost. I can’t remember how I found you but that’s par for the course – most days I’m lucky if I can remember what I had for lunch. Also par for the course, my inability to quit circling the conversational airport and just land the plane already. So, all of this really to just tell you how much I enjoy your Follow Friday format – say that ten times fast. Thanks for the laughs before the world ends!

    • LittleBig May 22, 2011 at 2:34 pm #

      Yay! Hi Kara! Nice to meet you! (Again!)

  4. Ingrid May 21, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    Hey all. I just wanted to say how much this post made my day! I wanted to do a little plug: You TOO can write a postcard to Mayor Bloomberg asking him to restore our libraries’ budget. You don’t need to be a NYer or a librarian or an awesome kid. Councilman Jimmy Van Bramer is collecting them:
    Jimmy Van Bramer
    47-01 Queens Boulevard
    Suite 205
    Sunnyside, New York 11104
    Give Mayor Buttface what’s what!

    • LittleBig May 22, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

      ‘Sup lady. First of all, I’d like you to know Ingrid was one of the girl names we seriously considered. Second of all, COUNT. ME. IN.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 5 Doomsday Rapture Blogs | 2012 Planet Alignment - May 20, 2011

    […] Follow Friday Doomsday Edition Little BigApparently I'm on Route 1988. paulapoundstone Remember when Scarlet O'hara gets sick of war? That's how I feel about cat pee lately. Sigafoos Just had a carne alotta burrito from Mighty Taco. It was like a rapture in my mouth . […]

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