Things I Will Miss About The Library

6 Jun

Things I will miss:

High-fiving kids on the last day of school.

Being called “Mrs. Liberry” on occasion.

Going on the morning announcements and talking about Happy Bacon and Sad Bacon.

Calling Susie at 7 a.m. and begging her to bring me coffee. (Though she probably won’t miss that as much as I will.)

Wearing bear ears while giving away scholastic achievement prizes.

Introducing kids to terrariums when they ask about the one on my desk.

The surreptitious dumping of obsolete consumable materials. Try it sometime.

Pimping the circulation desk.

Signing a hundred yearbooks with a cheesy “Keep reading!”

Recommending and promoting my favorite books to a whole new audience each year.

Turning into my Alter Ego, “The Laminatrix,” and getting drunk on the power to coat things in plastic. I HAVE THE POWER! (to laminate!)

Teaching kids how to use the computer. Cut, paste, and copy will change their lives.

Talking smack, UFC, and parenting with Carlos.

The presents kids make me every year, plus all the goodies I get at holidays.

Photoshop competitions with the IT dudes.

Being described as a “plucky, indispensable librarian with floaty hair.”

Being recognized whenever I leave the house. Obviously this isn’t always a good thing, but sometimes grocery shopping makes me feel like a minor celebrity.

Typing in a kid’s name into the label maker, telling them it’s an advanced computer scanner, then blowing their minds when I point it at them and their name pops out.

Finding the truly ridiculous library books.

Giving my student aides nicknames. They love that.

Looking every inch the librarian stereotype and wearing my Librarian pin.

Greeting the excited seventh and eighth graders as they come through the library on the first day of school.

Telling the kids,  “YOU HAVE TO WANT IT!” when the main door sticks and the students think it’s locked.

The shushing. I will totally miss the shushing.

Having conversations about books with kids who are excited to read.

Calling the library my home away from home.

Each year I have the opportunity to affect at least one kid’s life in a big way. Usually more than one. I still keep in contact with some kids who graduated eight years ago.

Giving up my Librarian Trading Card.

Coming up with creative ways to promote our surplus of book covers.

My free Pinboard account. Especially after what I did to get it.

The good substitutes. And the substitutes that maybe weren’t very good but at least made for good stories.

Telling patrons about my favorite library apps.

The dear friends I’ve made.

Things I will not miss:

Fielding a ton of telemarketer calls and telling them, no, I do not have a budget this year, either.

And, oh yeah, now that I mention it, the total lack of budget.

Getting laid off. Repeatedly.

Dealing with insane coworkers such as The Kracken, Harpy, and Withered Lich. And their dysfunctional department.

Signs on the vending machine saying it STOLE TWO DOLLARS FROM SO-AND-SO AND THERE WILL BE BLOOD.

Chain emails from the Superintendant that read like email forwards from your Grandpa.

Kids who try to use their bus pass as a library card.

The Gray Space.

Lifetouch. OMG, the shittiest, sorriest excuse for a school photo company ever.

The fact that you will be Cc’d in any email complaining about you to your supervisor.

Textbook Collection Week.

The yearly safety/sexual harassment/don’t steal from us/don’t dress like a whore video.

The people who keep score at the potlucks, judging you if you brought something unworthy—or worse, if you ate three chips but didn’t bring anything at all.

The free, freshly-baked cookies that turned out to be leftover year-old fundraising cookie dough somebody found in the freezer.

The inappropriate questions about my reproductive future.

The lack of environmental control.

The Facebook requests from coworkers who are completely unaware that I dislike them.

The political maneuvering. It was necessary if you wanted things like, say, tape or light bulbs. I was horrible at it when first hired, became proficient at it by the end, hated it all the way.

The shitty substitutes. The racist substitutes.

Giva, the unbearable coworker whose ringtone was the techno frog and who used to eat two packages of powdered donuts and a red bull every morning. The resulting burps terrified both the children and myself.

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8 Responses to “Things I Will Miss About The Library”

  1. gigi June 6, 2011 at 5:36 am #

    It’s a new day for you now. Great things to come!

    Curious: Was the unbearable techno frog coworker very very fat? If not, why can’t I have carbs?!

    • LittleBig June 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

      He’s huge, Gigi. All he does is sit in front of a computer and eat garbage. It ain’t pretty.

  2. KeepingYouAwake June 6, 2011 at 6:30 am #

    I remember the first tweet you sent with the bad news, and it’s still painful for me. Going to the library is like visiting your parents, in a way. You know you should go. It doesn’t cost more than gas money, and you often get something out of it. Besides, there is a wealth of information to be gained by doing so.

    The smells and tools available in the library have alwaybs been awesome for me. I still consider it heresy that they offer movie rentals and video games now. People are missing out… You’re in my highest regards, Mrs Liberry, and I’m reading a ton of your referenced words from this post.

    • LittleBig June 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

      Thanks for the support! After I was laid off (which was extremely painful) they rescinded it because, well, it was illegal. They tried to lay off the full-time employees (such as myself) but not the part-time employees, which was against our Union contract. So they didn’t lay me off, but they are putting a program through that will eventually replace my position and other librarians in the District.

      I actually resigned my position in order to stay home with Isobel, sell vintage on Etsy, and expand my photography business.

      Long live the library!

  3. lilpyrogirl June 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm #

    How’s your uterus? Are you planning to use it again?
    Oh wait, my bad, that was the wrong list.

    Uhhh, let’s see, pimping the circulation desk, that’s on the “things I will miss” list. So, if you’re ever in Atlanta, my desk is all yours for the pimping. In fact, it could definitely use pimping. Right now it’s pimped out with empty juice and water bottles. I’m a terrible pimper.

    • LittleBig June 7, 2011 at 8:37 am #

      One day I hope to be in Atlanta, and oh, the desk pimping I shall give you will be incredible.

  4. Amy @ babybabylemon June 9, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

    So, we don’t need to talk about the fact I am stupid and didn’t know about your awesome blog. Let’s talk about why I am crying in to my teacup, right this very second.
    In 2004, I applied to and got into a fab library science program, fulfilling a childhood dream. I was already to go, apartment leased, schedule in hand when my dad died. 2 weeks after my wedding, 3 weeks before I was supposed to go. I deferred. I never went. I moved on.
    And then here I am scrolling around your blog and I am pretty sure that is the same exact mug I gave my dad for father’s day when I was like 8. End result. Tears. Second end result, new subscriber.

    • LittleBig June 10, 2011 at 6:37 am #

      Thank you so much for stopping by! I’m so sorry to hear about you losing your father. I can’t imagine.

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