Follow Friday – Text Messages

Enjoy some semi-anonymous text messages between myself and a few friends, and when you’re done, check out the Etsy Team Librarian Sale in honor of Maker Faire. Participating stores are offering 15% off using coupon code MAKERFAIRE.

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

jillgengler Per @sunahmarie I will now try to sign off on most emails with “Like a boss.”

Handflapper IT’S TOTALLY THERE! IT’S THE FIRST TOPIC! I HAVE @klout IN #DIARRHEA!!!

KeepingYouAwake I’m eating Taco Bell in my import compact, and washing it down with energy drink. Fuck you, age!

lilpyrogirl Just looked up the hotel my client booked …the photo gallery shows a picture of the shower curtain and a close up of a chiar. I am scared.

wawoodworth @exlibris That’s what she said. I think. I dunno, she says a lot. I tend to tune most of it out, so maybe it’s “that’s what I think she said”

Sigafoos If we get to ban people and things that annoy us then hold on, I’ll get my list.

badbanana “These fake amps go to eleven.” #SelfReferentialMovieQuotes

badbanana “Tell the prop master we’re gonna need a bigger boat.” #SelfReferentialMovieQuotes

johnmoe These aren’t the droids from Star Wars you’re looking for in this scene in Star Wars. #SelfReferentialMovieQuotes

johnmoeYou had me at hello in an earlier scene from Jerry Maguire, the movie we’re acting in. #SelfReferentialMovieQuotes

johnmoe I feel the need! The need to be acting in Top Gun! #SelfReferentialMovieQuotes

shilonikelle MY FAVORITE WAY TO TRAVEL IS FLYING BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS

FreshAndMoldy When we all left Myspace in 2006, we left it full of teenagers. In 2011, we are all leaving Facebook full of our parents.

michaeljnelson If you haven’t seen Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” in a while you owe it to yourself to destroy all video screens in your house so you can’t.

Momfia I just assume anyone wearing socks with sandals is a serial killer

emirkr I’m worried scientists won’t discover new species of big cats in time for Mac OS next release.

steenyweeny oh my fuck i just saw a ghostbusters car and my camera phone isn’t working and i just failed internet.

MrWordsWorth I’m pretty certain ‘America defaults’ is how the zombie uprising begins.

laurahartgerink just got an email from a friend. 7 out of the 8 sentences ended with exclamation points. i! found! this! to! be! excessive!

johnmoe There were many GREAT TV shows in the 50s but my faves are My Mother Is A Plate, We Don’t Know We’re Repressed, and Murderous Horse Friend.

adamisacson I love this totally made-up “heat index” thing. Me? I’m 6-foot-1, but I _feel like_ 10 feet. Whoops! Bumped my head.

negativsteve I considered instituting a Swear Jar at work, but the prices for these shitty jars are fucking ridiculous.

theleanover The next person who tries to make small talk with me is going to hear about when my mom’s dog ate a jar of pickles.

shariv67 Tomorrow the Os in Google logo will be a pair of sweaty balls.

smileydooby Jesus has terrible taste in music #ThingsILearnedFromListeningToChristianMusicForOneMinuteTotallyByAccident

wawoodworth Done with work. If anyone needs me, i’ll be in the tub, hugging a giant ice cube.

thejohnblog According to HR, getting caught wearing nothing but an ill fitting shirt with my head stuck in a honey pot is cute for just one person.

jerryrenek Should be a quiet weekend on my block. Neighbors stopped having garage sales since I popped by to inquire about buying used underwear.

mrdavehill It’s so hot out today, I almost want to just stand here in front of the fire hydrant and not even bother doing my sexy dances anymore.

FlyteAphrodite I think I just got invited on a date by someone who simply sent a link of movie show times rather than speaking words to me. I feel special.

steenyweeny jumping up and down in rain boots and shouting joy division songs until i send myself home. i give this ten minutes or less.

glenyrd Coldplay came on Pandora. A flock of vaginas flew through my window and nestled on my desk. I fed them some cheese and they flew away.

modinkpeeb I am not allowed to nap even though I would fit perfectly under my desk in the fetal position so I guess I am not meant to be happy.

inversejaik A nonprofit dog daycare center called Virginia Woof!? #OhOregon!

MakeMommyCoffee When my husband told me he really envied Hugh Hefner I was irritated, until he told me it was b/c he gets to wear pajamas all day.

summersumz The Tea Party makes me miss Karl Rove. I might have Stockholm Syndrome.

SaraJOY I will never understand it but thank you Jesus for Yo Gabba Gabba.

TheBlessMess Listening to Blue Monday by New Order, always reminds me of the years I lived in France as a gay man.

telephase I’m having separation anxiety from my bed.

willgoldstein I’m seriously considering going to a ukulele jam at our local library tonight. That says a lot about where I am in life right now.

aspaul I think inserting bros into classic literature will be the next big trend. For example, Pride and Prejudice and Bros.

smileydooby Vision of the inventor of the vibrator: If you build it, they will come.

shekbaker Call my Congresspeople? What am I supposed to tell them? “Please attack the Tea Party Caucus with bats”? “Please, please hit their faces”?

Brain_Wash Before you vilify Glenn Beck for comparing dead, innocent children to the Hitler Youth, remember that he’s clearly an expert on the subject.

MagpieLibrarian Mamas, don’t name your babies “Amber.” I’ve done some research. I’ve been watching Intervention.

UncleDynamite As the person who used the bathroom right after you I feel I have to ask: Have you been eating a lot of peanut butter & caraway seeds?

DaisyJDog Man, these Real Housecats of NY are crazy.

MartinOrozcoJr As Speaker of the House, John Boehner is not even half the man Nancy Pelosi was.

chickenscottpie I kind of wish someone would beat Glenn Beck within an inch of his life, wait for him to recover, and then do it again.

sbellelauren feel so bad for the 7 followers i just lost due to my love for Mexicans & Jews b/c they have to wear that dumb white sheet over their heads.

TheBosha I had a debt crisis before the whole country even heard of them.

ourmecoffee Not really clear what to do after those speeches, but you should probably continue to develop a taste for cat food.

Johngcole What a multicultural country. Black President, Orange Speaker of the House.

DaveHolmes Has either Obama or Boehner considered a Kickstarter? I’m in for $50.

theleanover I have my headphones up so loud that the vibrations are making me dizzy. That’s the best way to listen to Lawrence Welk.

LOLGOP Mr. Boehner, when your approval rating is 28% & you begin each sentence with “The American people want…” we’re gonna need air quotes.

OHmommy Lady sitting next to me waiting at USbank: “I guess we can’t complain about the service since we haven’t had any.” Word.

Bashful_Muse Vacuumed up a live spider yesterday and a dead fly today. That spider better be dead. I don’t like the idea that I’m providing room service.

sarcasmically Changing all my ringtones to Super Mario World sounds, in case you were wondering what cool people do on Friday nights.

lcspt satan called. he said the weather is nicer in hell, if you want to visit.

ScrewyDecimal Google just helped me do basic math. It’s come to this.

MissLiberty Trying to find breakfast place with sign that says, “If you were born on this day, you can bring a sword inside.”

joeinverarity You know what’s wrong with this world? The people.

Sigafoos I made a playlist in Spotify that I’m pretty sure everybody will hate at least part of!

stevelibrarian The motto of library schools: “A large number of librarians are likely to retire in the coming decade… no, really, we mean it this time.”

StephenAtHome I can’t wait to watch Shark-Boob Week. We’re going to need a bigger bra!

jszyd These kids are driving me to drink! Which is cool because then I got a ride home when I’m all shitfaced.

HalfPintIngalls SO STOP DARN HOT OUT STOP STOP TELEGRAPH STOP WIRES AR E MELT MELTING STOP ALSO CATTLE EXPLODING EXCLAMATION POINT STOP STOP STOP

vhsTapes2 I jot down notes so I don’t forget tweets. Coworker found one. It said “An old lady fell. A medley of stenches.” I did not try to explain.

KeepingYouAwake Getting a Pop Rock lodged in your sinuses is easily comparable to performing a nasal-birth. Prove me wrong.

shinyinfo An impressionable youth from Library School is coming to talk to me tomorrow about the secrets to my success. Spoiler Alert, it’s Mt. Dew.

UncleDynamite I’ll bet when you invited me to your house you never dreamed you’d end up with cherry pie filling in your toilet’s reservoir tank.

Pogue TONIGHT’S MEDITATION:: If a hipster falls in the woods & nobody’s around, does he make a sound? Yes, but you’ve probably never heard of it.

Disalmanac Oakland: Ah, Oakland. Home of the mighty oaks! A mighty sylvan glen on the Pacific. Also, you can score crack there. Ask for Fat Mike.

bazecraze Even the gladiators of yore looked stupid in gladiator sandals.

poppafunk “I came, I saw, I conquered”? No…I awoke, I pooped, I went back to bed.

thejohnblog “That breakfast burrito is a Horcrux and the only way to destroy it is with my mouth!” I’m riding this Potter mania for as long as I can.

paulglester No matter how different our political views may be, I think we can all agree The Smurfs Movie will be horrible.

sbellelauren it’s too bad frogs can’t talk they could make that “me so horny” joke all the time i bet

peterbyrnes Can’t I just be appreciated for who I am? A binge-drinking sexual sadist who compulsively sets fires?

shariv67 Banner ads that unexpectedly yell at me owe me a new office chair.

toasterlicious Additional note to self: phone autocorrects “NOOOOOO” to “VOOOODOOOO,” which raises more questions than it answers.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.