Thrift Store Gore: Brian McPoopington

4 Aug

I helped out at my bestie’s yard sale this last weekend, and in addition to making them a ton of sweet cash, I came across one of the best cases of Thrift Store Gore ever.  I’d say it’s at least as weird as the poster that looks like it is drowning a baby while talking about Jesus. (Keep scrolling. It’s at the bottom.) And Angela didn’t even know she had it.

Justin took a photo of Mel and me. I look barely coherent.


We started unpacking items for the sale when we came across this doll. In the interest of making this as anonymous as possible, a well-meaning family member gave Angela’s infant son a porcelain collector’s doll. Angela thought it was strange to give an infant a collector’s doll so she took one look at the dolls face and stashed it away in a cupboard for a future yard sale. She had no idea.

So we took it out of the box to display it, and guess what we found.

Wait, what?

Ohmygod, it’s not just a creepy collector’s doll. It’s a creepy collector’s doll that sits on the potty with its pants down.

It was supposed to be posed with it’s hands on its face to match its “Ho, hum, just takin’ a shit!” expression, but Angela thought it looked much better this way.

I agree.

The doll’s name was Brian, so naturally we named him Brian McPoopington, or just Brian McPoop as the day went on. If you click on the instructions above, you can see the admonishments to force Brian’s arms into their correct pose. Which, duh, the pose Angela found was much better.

We were so sure Brian McPoop wasn’t going to sell that Angela started making plans to give him to our friend Scott as a white elephant Christmas gift. He sold immediately, of course.

We had a hard time fitting him back in the box, so Angela ended up putting the potty over his head so she could close the lid.

Sigh. Elke Hutchens. You should be ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself?

16 Responses to “Thrift Store Gore: Brian McPoopington”

  1. Sarah at 8:33 am #

    LOL “Slide his red shorts around his knees.” NO THANKS.

    • The Black Star at 9:07 am #

      no no, you have to say “Baby, let me help you with those.” in your best Isaac Hayes voice while you pull them down…. Okay, just while you read the horrendous instructions for the much more horrendous doll.

    • LittleBig at 6:20 pm #

      Can you imagine having been the writer for this? OMG

  2. The Black Star at 9:04 am #

    I have to say that I am kinda skeeved out that this was ever in my house. I do however love the way the way Angela posed his arms, it’s just to perfect. If only we had known what this was sooner, we could have taken him random places, in this pose, with one of those joke store fake dog poops and taken pictures of him being all “oops I pooped on ….”

    • LittleBig at 6:20 pm #

      And you had him all this time. If you only knew.

  3. K at 1:36 pm #

    I am laughing so hard at this I may have peed a little.

  4. heidi at 2:35 pm #

    eek…I cannot believe that exists.

  5. Trisha at 9:46 am #

    This is clearly a matter of “shit or get off the pot”. And for complete training, his hands should be carefully positioned around a roll of Charmin, after all.

  6. Kristi at 1:50 pm #

    WAIT WAIT the potty was on his head and you didn’t share a pic?!

    • LittleBig at 12:18 pm #

      I know, BAD LITTLE BIG! But the lady who purchased it was right there and I was too embarrassed.

      • Kristi at 3:28 pm #

        Ah, that is at least a good excuse (I would have been too embarrassed as well!)

  7. DanaCK at 6:20 pm #

    We also got a collectible doll when Ava was born but it was nowhere near as awesome as this one. Just out of curiosity, how much does a pooping ceramic doll go for these days?

    • LittleBig at 12:19 pm #

      If you can believe it, the price tag on it was 40 smackers!

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