You are a Moutardier

1 Nov

Do you know how long I’ve been looking for a cute vintage soap dispenser? For the last five years of my life. No, longer. Since we moved into this house. Seven years? Can you even imagine how many times I’ve gone thrifting in the last seven years? As many times as there are grains of sand on the beach, stars in the sky, mutated forms of the herpes virus in Paris Hilton. Finally, a couple weeks ago, I find this little number. I may have cried a little.

It is perfection! Milkglass! And yellow! With a goddamn mushroom on it! It was waiting on the shelf for me to find it. At two dollars it was getting pretty close to my flinch point. But it was worth it for how long I’ve waited.

I washed it and filled it with soap as soon as we got home, tossing the plastic bottle from the store in the recycling bin. I tried it giddily, pumping pumping pumping. Nothing. Pumping pumping pumping. Nada.

The pump doesn’t work. It tried fixing it, but short of replacing the pump, it’s broken. Along with my hopes and dreams. Why you gotta play me like that, Goodwill?

21 Responses to “You are a Moutardier”

  1. jenn November 1, 2011 at 6:02 am #

    And u can try sallys beauty supply…

    But I’d knock down the door of the interwebs…it’s bound to be out there!!

  2. Elizabeth November 1, 2011 at 6:03 am #

    Can you replace the pump? Maybe with one from a bottle of lotion?

    • LittleBig November 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

      Thanks to Teh Internets I’m going to try!

  3. Lauren November 1, 2011 at 6:59 am #

    You can actually buy lotion pumps at Victoria’s Secret or Bath & Body Works. I think they’re a dollar.

    • LittleBig November 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

      Really? They just sell them in the shop? Awesome.

      • Lauren November 2, 2011 at 7:55 am #

        Yep! At VS, you might have to hunt a little or ask but B&BW should have them around.

  4. TheBlackStar (@TheBlackStar) November 1, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    You totes need to go kick goodwill in the nuts.
    Speaking of pumps, since it’s the cool topic, I think they make unthreaded ones that just sit on top so you don’t have to worry about finding that perfect fit. I could be wrong though. *shrug*

  5. mark @ yelling near you November 1, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Such a sad ending to an amazing find. Maybe someone (Jenn) will save the day.

    • LittleBig November 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm #

      Jenn always saves the day! One of these solutions is bound to work.

  6. Nadja November 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    This read like a great novel. Your introduction to the character, getting us all attached to the hero, then the excitement that they got what they wanted…. but, alas, like many great stories there must be loss…

    I cheer on your quest, friend.

    • LittleBig November 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

      Thank you so much! The Soap Pump Saga continues…

  7. DanaCK November 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

    I’ve replaced pumps with others from the cheapie plastic soap dispensers before…worth a try!

  8. Dave Polak (@davepolak) November 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    I’m sure th pump works fine. The whole problem is that you are putting soap in it when it is clearly a mustard dispenser. Try filling it with mustard and I’m sure it will work just fine.

  9. Missy (@geceosan) November 1, 2011 at 9:09 pm #

    “Finally, a couple weeks ago, I find this little number. I may have cried a little.”

    you know you’re my soap dispenser hero, don’t you? i’m just sayin’….

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