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Snapshot

4 Jan

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

– I have so much to share, I don’t know where to begin.

– Christmas was great despite the head colds Isobel, Anthony and I succumbed to on Christmas Eve. As I mentioned in my scrapbook post, we ended up cancelling on three of our holiday activities and spent the day playing hours and hours of Mass Effect. Quality family bonding, obviously.

– I hope everyone saw this year’s Christmas card(s). It was difficult, but I think I managed to top last year’s.

– Isobel got a ton of new toys, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, Yay, presents! on the other hand I now have a crap load of stuff to organize and fit in to our already toy-filled abode. She received lots of fancy, expensive toys, but the gift she liked the best (after the vintage 1983 Care-a-lot plus bears, obviously) were the inexpensive set of blocks from her grandparents. We enjoyed them, too. Perhaps being sick had something to do with it, but she spent Christmas day in a new-toy stupor.

– New Years’ was even better. As a family we had all recovered from our malaise and we spent two whole days eating, hanging out with friends who drove in from all over, and playing Scribblish, with hilarious results. We now have a new saying: “I’m trippin’ balls off that Care Bear stare!”

– I’m having a lot of fun thinking up new goals and items for my life list. I’ll share the revised version later this month.

– Remember when I set up a twitter account for Isobel so I could record her milestones, but instead it became yet another outlet for my ridiculousness? Me, neither. But the other day the idea suddenly popped into my head that I could use that account to tweet actual things she says to me, rather than things I made up based on my best assumptions and my faultless mother’s intuition. If you want to encourage me in my delusions or hear about how much she loves the Care Bears constantly, you can follow her on twitter here.

– Everyone deserves a little something pretty to start the new year off right, so don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a chance to win a free Vegan-approved handmade bow from Inez Gill! These little babies are adorable and the contest is open until Friday. Don’t forget to follow Inez Gill on twitter. Not only will it give you an extra entry in the contest, but she tweets as a real person, not as a business, so she’s great to talk to as well.

– My friend Camilla sent me a whole box of cookbooks and they arrived just in time for Christmas. My favorites so far are the ones that involve cooking with kids, which she sent my way especially for Isobel. Right now our favorite is the Peter Rabbit and Friends Cook Book, which strangely had no recipes for hasenpfeffer.

Packing up Christmas is kind of a pain in the ass.

– I’m working on a special project for next week: the Best of Follow Friday 2011. I’m using my favorite 100 photos from last year and choosing the best of the best tweets from 2011 to create seven days of Follow Friday posts. The posts will not only highlight the funniest moments but it will also serve as a scrapbook of the year’s best photos and memories from 2011. I hope you all enjoy it.

– Really and truly, this was one of my favorite New Years of all time.

– I owe everybody (especially @turtleparade) a fabulous recipe for Roast Chickpeas. I haven’t forgotten. It’s coming and it will be worth the wait.

– My friend Korinne and I came up with the latest fad to lose your shit over: Mustache Bird. It’s going to be huge on Etsy.

Photos from the week:

Favorite Links:

– Vintage Alice in Wonderland invitations. I feel a themed party coming on. Via The Red Star Designs.

– My twitter wife shared this video with me: All the Single Ensigns.

– Dave Polak’s adorable kittens have started a Tumblr. As the Jennui once said, “The Internet is made of cats.

– Are you a new parent? Perhaps you’d enjoy the book Give Baldy Your Tit. Via Stray.

– The Dr and Mrs The Doctor Monarch sing Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

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Best of 2011: Scrapbook

29 Dec

These are my favorite Scrapbook and Adventure posts from 2011.

 

Scrapbook: Christmas Parade

11 Dec

We went to the local Christmas parade last weekend with our friends the Waltons and the Serios. It was Isobel’s fourth parade but the first one she was aware of what parades actually were. Valerie brought a surprise for the kids–glow sticks, which (unsurprisingly) were a huge hit. Note to self bring glow sticks to the parade next year. They’d also be really fun during fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Each time a float rolled past us Isobel called it a bus, and she kept saying, “I want to go on the bus! Mama and Isobel go on the bus.” She said it so firmly, as if she said it with enough conviction it would come true. I didn’t feel like lugging my regular camera around so instead I packed Camera Jr, which means the photos are kind of terrible but I love them nonetheless.

Follow Friday – Moonish

18 Nov

I took these photos last spring when we drove down to Cayucos to watch my dear friend get married. I accidentally adjusted the white balance without realizing it and fired at least a dozen shots before I caught my mistake. The resulting photos look like they were shot on some forlorn, post-apocalyptic moon. The blue cast match the weather perfectly, as it was a bone-chillingly cold spring and we arrived right in the middle of the worst storm flooding in ten years.

I really will have to tell you about that trip sometime. Especially the part where Isobel and I fell in the ocean.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

sarcasmically What if all the socks we lose in the dryer are defecting and forming an enormous military OH GOD

joeinverarity WHY IS MY COWORKER LISTENING TO RUSH LIMBAUGH? PLEASE SEND OPIATES. Or is that what Rush would want?

maggiesox It’s November 15 and I’m walking around Center City in a sweatshirt. It snowed before Halloween. Mother Nature needs an intervention.

connoliam Wuthering-er Heights #classicnovelsequels

icrvn The Scarlet Tweet  #classicnovelsequels

scareydicarey1 Great Disappointments #classicnovelsequels

callum119 Greatly Lessened Expectations Due To The Crushing Banality Of Adulthood. #classicnovelsequels

Matthew_Spicer Don Quixote Vs. Predator #ClassicNovelSequels

rudiedudie Cat’s Bouncy-Seat #classicnovelsequels

InfiniteChicken The Great Gatsby’s Ne’er-do-well great-great Nephew, Randy #ClassicNovelSequels

InfiniteChicken 1985: Doc Brown’s Revenge #ClassicNovelSequels

mitdasein Look Who’s Wuthering Too! #classicnovelsequels

NicLewis Lowered Expectations. #ClassicNovelSequels

mitdasein 2 War 2 Peace #classicnovelsequels

MechanoCham The Picture of Dorian Gray: 3D #classicnovelsequels

rudiedudie Charlie and the Chinese Chocolate Factory #classicnovelsequels

Evil_Dumbledore Harry Potter & the Tuition Fees of Inaffordability  #classicnovelsequels

CosyFanTootie Charlotte’s Webcam #classicnovelsequels

carlmaxim Lady Chatterley’s Friend with Benefits. #classicnovelsequels

Kasdorf Any tattoo commemorating service in WWII, Korea, Vietnam or the Merchant Marines should be called a “gramp stamp.”

a_outburst Who knew making healthy snacks for 20 pre-schoolers would give me an ulcer.

bookishbella It’s “voila,” not “viola.” Unless of course you’re just really excited about string instruments.

pnkrcklibrarian Today I’ve preformed at least 3 miracles. I am pretty fucking awesome.

ordermeanother Thanks @MeganBoley for your donation! You are good people. Literally because you are more than one person currently. #preggers #movember

annakarenine meeeee i waaaaaaant a huuuuuula hooooooooooop

brattyunicorn That was so good my rock hard nips just shot lasers.

mikeleffingwell No one seems reassured by my “I Only Touch People Appropriately” T-shirt.

Patheticist Every morning my wife and I play a game of parenting chicken, the winner pretends to be asleep longer and the loser makes breakfast.

TwoAdults Tights are pinchy and my waistline is giving them the finger.

shariv67There aren’t many sports that couldn’t be improved by adding a bear.

WindsorGrace Parks and Rec really makes me want to work for my local government.

mikeleffingwell Whenever one door closes another door opens. This house is haunted!

TheRedQueen @nbc is bad people.

apelad The problem with the land of milk and honey is all the cows and bees everywhere.

J__Swift I actually enjoy being loved from behind. Afar? It’s loved from afar, isn’t it.

TheNextMartha Time change means that mommy wants to go to bed at 5:30. Kids? The pantry is open for business.

britain OH: “I have no pockets. Stupid girl pants cheated me out of 75 cents.”

Casey_Malone Wait a sec… Community put on hold JUST as Skyrim comes out? WE ARE ON TO YOU, DanHarmon

JustinMcElroy The worst thing about the NBA season being canceled is that it’s like losing seven of Air Bud’s best playing years.

joeinverarity Being targeted with ads in gmail freaks me the hell out. And also, I don’t recall writing about Brazilian waxes, but thanks for the coupon!

slennonharris Dear God It’s Me Margarine, I Know, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Either!

ProfessorSnack 5 wishes there were self flushing pants. I don’t have the heart to tell him that they’d be useless in the world of pantless social media.

sbellelauren if i find out dress barn isn’t farm animals in evening wear i will burn that place to the ground

wordlust There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called your mom’s van.

theleanover I was on board with Disney’s “Old Yeller” video game up until the last mission.

BuenoBabyGirl Most common thing said on #MTVsCribs: “Got my flat-screen here.”

ohnoCAPSLOCK One day I will no longer be vomiting regularly. My vomit-free ship will come in!

Smethanie My mom bought me a journal. I don’t get it. If I write my thoughts in there, how do I make sure the whole world can see it?

crassmama I guess saying “nice beard, I’m going to follow you!” to some dude isn’t as well-received in line at Starbucks as it is on Twitter.

BugginWord Tacos. The end.

badbanana Life is way more exciting in your forties. At any point you could sneeze wrong and end up getting emergency back surgery.

MeganBoley Does anyone know if I can get into the planetarium gift shop without paying full admission? #spaceicecream

theleanover Bourbon on the rocks out of a mug that says “Romance Is Boring.” Hello Friday!

That_Biz Just used Vick’s as chapstick because I’m a winner.

bitchylibrarian I just put on a dress and it looks like I’m a hipster trying to be an extra on Dr. Quinn. That looked better on the hanger.

000___000 Idea for evolution: a bear with a helicopter rotor on its head.

apodixis Poop on the floor,
And you’re to blame–
You give cats
A bad name!

Cats inspire me.

smileydooby Oh my god did you see the tweets on that lady?

allisonthemeep I had somehow talked myself into switching to decaf coffee for health reasons, but that’s over now. Decaf tastes like burnt hair.

wheatnik Googling pumpkin spice chai recipes while listening to Wu-Tang Clan is the easiest way to confuse the fuck out of your racial identity.

robdelaney Oops! My wife just asked me if I remembered her birthday & I pulled a “Rick Perry.” (I executed her)

TheMostTender I just ate 14 donut holes in under 2 mins to practice in case I’m dared to do that at some point.

real_danimal My 16 mo. old niece zooms around making noises like an excited R2D2.

helgagrace Buckling down and getting shit done. WHO HAVE I BECOME?

notthatkendall I thought I could fix our runny toilet and then I googled things and now I can’t unknow that snakes can get into your toilet through pipes.

PixieJames I’m ready with my Rick Perry joke as soon as I can remember it.

JohnFugelsang Don’t think of my Rick Perry jokes as ‘kicking him when he’s down.’ Think of it as ‘denying him clemency.’

UnicornFlavored “Dada poopoo.. Dada poopoo”, Zoey spoke softly to herself after Kyle ripped a morning fart.

Schmoodles Always be yourself. Unless you’re an asshole. In which case, always be someone else.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Warriors, Come Out And Play

15 Nov

Imagine running three and a half miles in the dust, over hills, on a trail studded with giant piles of steaming horse crap. Imagine scaling walls, swimming through mud, and leaping over open flames. Imagine enduring this ordeal with thousands of other sweating competitors, some of them dressed up as batman, ninjas, or a banana. Imagine, doing this for fun.

Welcome, athletes, to the Warrior Dash!

When Anthony first told me he wanted to run in Warrior Dash with friends, I had only a vague notion of the obstacles. I naively imagined him leaping over hurdles and high-stepping it through a checkerboard of tires. So I invited my friend Angela, who recently took up running as a hobby, to join us. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Anthony and some friends are going to run a race in October. It’s short and it’s supposed to be fun. I think it’s called the Warrior Dash. Wanna come?

Angela: Sure! Let me look it up online.

Me: Okay.

Angela: … This race involves jumping over fire.

Me: WHAT?!

Angela: Yeah. And a lot of barbed wire. And a blackout tent, and a mud pit, and two piles of fire.

Me: Oh. Well, do you want to come and watch? I’m not running, obviously.

Angela: No, I’m still interested in doing it. I’m just a little worried about the fire.

And that, folks, is why Angela is BAD. ASS.

The Warrior Dash is so popular that heats are scheduled on the hour all weekend long and each heat hosts five hundred people. They sell out fast, so while Angela registered for the noon heat, Anthony and our other friends had to sign up for the heat that started an hour later. When we arrived there were already thousands of people there, some covered in mud that was already beginning to crust and dry in the arid heat of the late summer sun. It was hot, hotter than usual for the foothills and hotter than it had been previously that week. It was only eleven in the morning and we were working up a sweat just standing there. The runners signed up for later in the day were going to have a rough time of it.

What sets the Warrior Dash apart from other obstacle course challenges is the light-hearted spirit of the event. Many runners wore elaborate costumes and everyone who participates earns themselves a t-shirt, a Viking hat, a medal and a free beer. It was a physical challenge, no doubt about it, but the emphasis was on fun. When I saw someone get stuck at the top of a 20-foot wall, the paramedics were arranging a way to get her down when she conquered her fear of heights and climbed down on her own. The crowd cheered for her ecstatically. This is what I loved about the Warrior Dash. The crowd could have looked down on her for getting scared. Instead, they cheered her victory.

After the race, mud-soaked competitors were invited to donate their shoes to a charity that would clean them up and send them to third-world countries where they were needed.

Before we even parked the car we started spotting costume after costume. Groups of people signed up to run the race a team all sporting themed costumes. Our friend Jaime, Alicia and her boyfriend all going to dressed in homemade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes. For whatever reason their heat was filled with people dressed as TMNT, despite the fact that none of the other heats seemed to have not so much as a non-mutant turtle costume. While I waited for Anthony and Jaime to run by I kept my eyes peeled for turtles and became disappointed each time that another competitor, dressed as a turtle, ran by.

I have to admit a small amount of jealousy for the mud-soaked competitors. Not that I wanted to be soaked in mud, because, uh, no thanks. But the race, as hard as it was, looked undeniably fun. Justin and I came along for picture-taking, bag holding, and moral support, and even he talked about running it with Angela next year. Just attending the event was hard enough for me. The standing and the walking was enough to make me stiff and sore and arthritic for the next two days. No Warrior Dash is in my future.

After watching the runners start the race flanked by plumes of fire, we waited for them in the spectator area where we could watch them scale two obstacle walls before witnessing the leap through fire and the slog through the mud pit. Angela climbed the rope wall with no problem. I saw many people skip this obstacle entirely.

Then she scaled the net climb with no difficulty.

I regret to say I have no photos of her leaping fire or treading through mud. The timing of the heats meant I had to leave in order to watch Anthony’s heat, but Justin followed her and got pictures, including this one, that I shamelessly stole from her twitter stream:

Afterwards, she cleaned up with a hundred other people in the one shower provided: a fire truck’s hose. She managed to change her clothes, but look at her hair:

While waiting for Anthony’s heat to run by we spotted some amusing costumes.

The 80s Aerobic group:

Fred & Wilma Flintsone… an amazing couple in their sixties:

A lady dressed as Mario:

Apollo:

A ripped bunny-dude:

A bunch of bananas:

Some convicts:

Reno 911 and whatever she is:

Tron:

Two Ghost Busters:

And my personal favorite, Colonel Sanders and a flock of chickens:

We kept spotting Waldos all day long, also:

Anthony’s group was at the end of line since we wanted to wait and watch Angela go by.

After seeing dozens of turtles run by (and I’m not just saying this, but their TMNT costumes were by far the best of the day), we finally saw our guys.

After they scaled the net wall Angela, Justin and I had to literally sprint all the way to the fire pits in order to watch them jump the flames. We barely made it in time for me to snap one of Jaime.

The fire truck shower kept reminding me of that Weird Al movie UHF, and the children’s show where Michael Richard’s character kept telling kids, “You get to drink from… the fire hose!” blasting the lucky kid right off the stage.

It’s a good thing that day was so hot, because the water was reportedly ice cold.

After we ate and everyone cleaned off we stopped Casa de Fruita for some pomegranate wine and miner’s hats and called it a day. The end.

Life List: Whale Watching

17 Oct

To celebrate my birthday I wanted to cross something off my Life List. This year: whale watching.

I am experiencing something of a health crisis so I’m short on words but I wanted to share the photos. I’ll write about my trip another time. I promise. Despite my current issues, it was awesome.

A sweet couple celebrating their 40th anniversary brought enough champagne for everyone on the ship.

Dramamine made us sleepy.

Scrapbook: It’s my birthday!

16 Oct

Today is my birthday. I’m off accomplishing something on my life list. Hop on over to twitter and say hi if you have a minute.

Thanks for reading, supporting my etsy shop, and being a part of my life. You are super awesome.

Scrapbook: The Fair

26 Sep

We go to the fair every year. I love the weird shit, the competitions, and the animals. When I was younger and less concerned over the safety of rides put together overnight by the obviously high, I loved the rides, too.  I really think the people you go with really affect how much fun you have. We live in a small town, where we learned from a young age you either make your own fun or you make your own meth. And the market’s kind of flooded for meth.

'Sup, tortoise.

Last year I was super excited to take Isobel to the county fair, but I knew this year would be even better:  she was old enough now to really enjoy it, we were going with her good buddy Kingston, and, to top it all off, high school slow dance favorites Boyz II Men was headlining! Actually, we were neutral about  Boyz II Men, but we did happen to go on the night they were performing. The show started just as we were leaving, and I suddenly remembered that my friend Melynda planned on going. I  turned to Anthony and said, “Hey! Maybe we’ll see Melynda!” Anthony looked over the crowd of thousands dubiously.

“There is no way we’ll find Melynda,” he said confidently.

“Oh look! There she is!” I replied. Not twenty feet from my stroller, there she was. It was a moment of total serendipity.

First stop: the heart booth. Always the heart booth. Each year our local hospital sets up a booth including a giant, anatomically correct heart that you can walk through, complete with wooshing blood-noises.  Like a snuggle nest! Anyway, it’s by far the best booth at the fair for two reasons: my bestie volunteers there, and it’s air-conditioned.

What we didn’t realize is how much the kids would love the heart booth, to the point that as soon as we exited one ventricle the kids would immediately try to to circulate back in. There were two kids and four adults yet somehow they were so crazy for the heart booth we could hardly contain them. In the photo below, for example, Kingston is being escorted out of the heart for about the seventeenth time.

It was total mayhem.

They would not be deterred, even as the heart booth filled with strangers. My normally timid child followed Kingston’s bold lead and steamrolled their way through the innocents trying to learn about anatomy. Kingston favored brute force, pushing his way in and weaving through legs, while Isobel was more sneaky. At one point she  pulled a fast one on me and ran around the back of the heart, searching in vain for a extra ventricle that she could circulate through. No such luck.

Anthony did take this picture, though, and I realized I could have won a blue ribbon for Whitest Legs in the County had I only thought to enter them in the fair.

Once we were able to pry the kids away from the heart, we visited the photo-op area, which is a yearly tradition. Seeing as how we’ve done it twice now.

(Click here to see photos of Doctor Baby Isobel and Buxom Nurse Anthony.)

Then we headed over to the rainforest area where I took my favorite photo of the night. Too bad it wasn’t of my kid!

(It was of Kingston, though, so that is totally okay:)

Last year Isobel couldn’t navigate this bridge on her own.

Taking toddlers through areas like this takes a bit longer, especially if your kid is Kingston. You have to fight his natural impulse to be set loose in the rainforest so he can Break All The Things and have a great time.

Previously the mantis was just kind of hanging out, but this year they added mangled butterflies. The carnage is a nice touch.

So here is the part where I think to myself, “Let’s take a sweet photo of the kids together, holding still and smiling and looking directly at the camera nicely, so that we can always remember all the good times we had at the fair.”

Cheese!

Touching, isn’t it? It came out about as well as the photo I took of Isobel and Victoria at Yo Gabba Gabba.

I did get a photo of Isobel sitting on the mushrooms to compare to last year’s, though, and that made me happy.

This year:

Last year:

"Oh hi! Just trying to cause grave bodily harm to myself or others!"

Hey Kingston! Kingston! I want to take a picture of you, dude!

That’s better.

So my favorite part, even better than all of the weird things you can see in the exhibit hall, is the animals. Specifically, the bunnies, the chickens, and my personal, all-time, most-favorite-ever: the goats.

The thing about the goats is that they are always trying to eat their own signs. Always. It’s hilarious. One time in high school I went to the fair and I was wearing a pair  jeans that were ripped in the knees an the goat tried to eat the pants clean off my body. True. Another time, back when I was a toddler, my parents were at a farm when they needed to consult their map for directions home. A goat wandered by and started eating the map. How can you not love an animal like that?

You can tell from this photo how excited I am to see bunnies. I look more enthusiastic than Isobel. But she was actually flipping out with glee. Here she is telling Anthony that she wants Dada to “put this bunny in her hand.”

That girl is like, “Hell no. Mr. Fluffernutters is MINE.”

She adored the fair. Her tiny body reverberated with excitement all night. She loved it so much we ended up going again on a free day for more pig petting and goat snuggling, and and would have gone a few more times at least (admission and all) but that was the week we went out of town to visit Jose and Lupe. She even loved the bus ride we took from our parking spot to the fair on the park and ride. She might even love the fair more than I do, if that’s possible. Her favorite part, by far, was the animals. Even now when I tell her we have to go somewhere she begs me to take to the fair to “go see the animals.” She was in heaven. All night I heard the refrain “I love amimols!”

"I love amimols!"

"I love amimols!"

When we went to the petting zoo to see the goats I realized she either picked up on my love of the creatures or inherited it, because she was terrified of all the animals in the petting zoo except the goats. In fact, she told me that this goat was hers, all hers, hinting that no one else could pet it. She spent the better part of the next 2o minutes hugging it.

"I love amimols!"

We saw the chickens, which she loved but later told me were “too loud.” Other things she said were too loud: turkeys, cows, and Kingston.

Kingston, for his part, was also having a blast. When he wasn’t initiating headbutt competitions with the goats he was playing in…

CORNS! Which I’m sure Angel found in his diaper later.

I love this photo. He’s like, “I have the power. OF CORN.”

Isobel went straight to the farm equipment, which, if she ever saw in real life would definitely be deemed, “too loud.”

She must have known this, because as she played with them she made truck noises.

After baby Kingston left we toured the exhibit hall for a while before heading out. I was looking at artwork and photography while Anthony was indulging in parkour for parents: stroller tricks.

Aaaand because I can’t write a post about the fair without including one strange thing I found in the exhibit hall, I shall leave you with this epic cat lady painting. Not pictured: her 300 other cats. Until next time, county fair.

Scrapbook: Jose and Lupe’s Wedding

19 Sep

I don’t think I could sum up all the fun we had at our friends’ Jose and Lupe’s wedding. A million wonderful things happened, large and small, and it seems impossible that all those events were packed into two short days. I’m not even going to attempt a recap, so instead I’m just going to share snippets of my my favorite memories. These are the things I’ll remember:

The Mexican folk sayings that were read as part of the ceremony. Anthony leaning over and whispering their meanings in my ear, as the entire ceremony was conducted in Spanish.

The absolute, exquisite beauty of Lupe. Gorgeous on a bad day, she looked like a goddess.

Stef and I dressing like identical little old ladies.

Melynda’s awesome black feather fascinator.

How skinny Angela looked.

How nice Zack looked.

How utterly happy Jose and Lupe looked.

How, as a group, we managed to stand in the least convenient spots for a group to stand in throughout our trip.

Heading to dim sum post-ceremony because Dave threatened to catch and eat lizards.

Stef and I spilling bits of dim sum on our dresses. I accidentally dropped rice in my bra and told everyone I’d be throwing it at Jose and Lupe later.

Seeing our friend Aaron again for the first time in years.

Everyone sharing whatever they ordered.

Dave ordering the giant meat balls.

 The inevitable piping match that broke out while waiting for the piñata.

Jake and Ben’s best men speech, and how they tied in Jose’s love of comics and superheroes.

The first drink I ordered wasn’t mixed properly and it came out so gross I couldn’t help but say, “Oh, gross! This tastes like the dentist!” This prompted so much curiosity from my friends that we passed the drink around the table and everyone sampled “the dentists drink.”


Jacob, who had been drinking, trying to convince his younger brother Caleb, who had not been drinking, to drive Ben’s car home because Ben is drunk. Although Caleb immediately agrees to drive the car, Jacob continues to try to persuade Cay to drive home for at least five more minutes, wherein Cay agrees to do it several more times. Fun fact: Ben is not actually drunk. At all.

Angela and I dancing to a song and realizing everyone knows the words to except us. Agreeing it’s not on our ipods nor is it from a children’s song. Realizing we are old.

The pastel song, and me explaining to everyone that the lyrics were basically “We want cake, cake, cake, cake, cake!” Everyone’s surprise at its meaning, followed by everyone agreeing that it was the best song ever. Angela declaring, “I want that as my ringtone!”

Lupe’s parents, who were among the first on the dance floor and the last to leave. They danced us all under the table.

The crazy crack-the-whip game the single men and women played before the bouquet and garter toss. The men flying by while we cheered for our friends. The line snaking past us and Jake shouting back, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” Poor Zack at the end, taking a beating.

Dancing to Mexican music with no real knowledge of how to do so. Looking completely ridiculous. The wildly inappropriate dancing we were doing in general. The wedding photographers crowding around us to take photos of the crazy white people.

The little boy who crashed hard and fell asleep before the reception was over. How sweetly he was draped over his father’s shoulder as he was carried home.

Realizing we’re probably going to make fun of Angela’s mom when we’re ninety, at which point we’ll have to end each joke with “may she rest in peace.”

Being driven back to the hotel by Melynda and Justin and comparing Dick Cheney to a honey badger while drunk tweeting. The first tweet made me sound way drunker than I was because autocorrected changed almost every word in that sentence. In autocorrect’s defense, however, I have no idea what I was actually trying to say. And, incase you were wondering, yes, Melynda is my homepants.

The $4.00 bottle of water in every hotel room.

The imagining the people who used to live in historic Dolce Hayes Mansion.

The telephones next to the toilets.

Discovering the copy of the Teachings of Buddha in lieu of the traditional Bible in our hotel drawer.

Anthony falling asleep on the Walton’s hotel room bed, snoring in the middle of our conversation. Stefanie saying I was going to have to fireman-carry him back to the hotel room. Me waking him up and Anthony thinking we’re calling it a night because I’m tired.

Waking up the next day and finding our hotel to be out of the motherfucking coffee. Inconceivable! Doesn’t this hotel know that we are old and hung over and we need our goddamn coffee?

Stealing hotel chairs from the various lounge areas to add to the Walton’s hotel room as it filled with more and more people.

The table at breakfast with the inane graffiti.

Justin, grabbing my camera to take photos while I am dancing. As is our custom, we will each take the other’s camera and take photos on it when the other is not around, including at least one gratuitous shot of someone’s butt. Justin, upping the ante by taking three gratuitous butt shots, including one belonging to his dancing, and completely unaware, wife.

The constant, hilarious, occasionally staged, photo bombs. It practically became a competition by the end of the night.

Anthony waking up early and staggering into the bathroom. He makes such a strange noise I think he must be barfing excess alcohol. Worried, I rush in to find him standing at the sink, water bottle in hand, crying, “FOUR FUCKING DOLLARS?!”

Snapshot

15 Sep

The past few days I haven’t been feeling like myself. I’m wondering if I’m a bit lonely.  I’ve been WAHMing for a few months now, but it’s only really begun to sink in that I’m actually at home now. I worked for a school district for so long that I’m used to having summers off and then gearing right back up for work in the fall.

It’s strange to admit I might be lonely when I’m regularly getting out and doing stuff. Maybe it’s the day-to-day interactions (or lack thereof) that have me feeling this way. I miss the kids, mostly, and the friends at work. So it’s not like I’m sitting at home, twiddling my thumbs. I’m actually quite busy. Last weekend some friends and I had a blast at a Skirmish in Fresno. I enjoyed some Secret Eating. Isobel and I enjoy daily mini-adventures. I sent and order plus some extra birthday goodies to the lovely Sarah Sphar. I’m still shooting portrait photography and working on several projects throughout the house and online, planning a dinner party, and finishing up The Quarter Acre Farm and The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth. Speaking of, my sunflower is blooming and we have six or seven little pumpkins on our plant. The days themselves are so full I’m relying heavily on my daily routine to fit everything in.

All of this makes me feel ridiculous to be so randomly weepy. I’m not hormonal, but I have recently struggled with some health issues and sometimes I just get down about that. I just feel a little sad, maybe a little lonely, and I don’t really know why.

In Incredibly Nice People on the Internet news, Emily Bilbrey sent us three lovely Uff Da clips for free because she knew the clips I previously purchased had a hard time hanging on to Isobel’s baby fine hair. Isobel adores them and has insisted on wearing them, all three of them, every day since they arrived in the mail. It goes without saying that I recommend her shop wholeheartedly. Thank you, Emily, from the bottom of my heart.

Isobel is a bright spot in any day, though, even when I’m feeling out of sorts. When I first stayed at home with her I noticed she had an imaginary friend. When playing she would grab two of something, anything–two spoons, to brushes, two cups–and pretend that one is Dada and one is Isobel. That’s right, her imaginary friend is Dada. That just kills me with cute. Eventually, she just started taking shortcuts and eliminated the middle man all together: she pretends the fingers on one hand is Dada and, until recently, the fingers on the other hand were named Isobel. Now they go by “Deedee,” a name she’s made up all by herself. Her TV exposure is pretty limited and we don’t know anyone with the similar name. She continues to amaze me.

I don’t want this post to just be filled primary with vague complaints, so I’m ending with something awesome. I’ve had an internet crush on this lady for quite some time, and here is one of the reasons why: it’s Mother Sucking Boob Time, people.