Tag Archives: Engrish

Welcome To My Spam Folder

10 Nov

It’s time to open my spam folder and read some Useful Life Content! Let’s see what the robots have for us today.

Oh! My first ever comment from the Monopoly Man! Unfortunately for him I can’t be arrested for being among the 99%.

Thrifting, domesticity, and sex publicing. It’s what I do. I’m a giver.

I’m flattered! Especially since this praise comes from the Cancer Institute…?

(Click on image to see full-size.)

I honestly wonder if some enterprising young spammer used Dragon Dictation during Rush Limbaugh’s show and used the resulting text as spam. Anthony said it’s as if regular spam is getting more annoying, like it’s evolving. Of all the liberal-minded posts this could have attached itself to, I think this comment was left on an innocuous post I wrote about my elliptical machine.

No.

(Click on image to see full-size.)

This comment went on for PAGES and PAGES and PAGES. Seriously. I would have had to do a screen capture three or four times to get the whole message, but to sum it up: he concludes with the argument that he, himself, is a god, though an admittedly crappy one by his own standards. This is one of the weirdest comments I’ve ever received, including the comment about Sasquatch and the one the simply said, “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.”

Until next time, robots!

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Thrifty Living: Dollar Store Chairs

7 Jul

We’ve made many trips to various home improvement stores in the last few weeks while building our pergola and installing a new lawn. Although I haven’t been shopping for outdoor furniture we inevitably have to walk past it on the way to find whatever it was we needed to find. Each time I’d pass by miniature versions of patio furniture that I’d wistfully imagine Isobel using in our revamped backyard. It’s just not in our budget right now.

I started thinking a lot about patio furniture for Isobel, though, as she keeps struggling to sit in our grown-up versions and never looks comfortable. I decided that since the expensive versions are not an option right now, perhaps the plastic ones I’d seen at the flea market as a child would do the trick.

Keeping that in mind, I did something very foolish the other day. While we were waiting for cousins to come over for a long-awaited playdate, I decided to fill the two hours we needed to kill with a surprise. I had been saving some of the toys she got for her birthday to give out over time in moments just like these. On the invitations we asked for contributions to Isobel’s college fund so we weren’t inundated with toys, but she still received enough that Anthony and I quietly stowed away some for future need for distraction.

I told Isobel I was going to get her a present from the closet. She was very excited. The last gift I had squirreled away was a fancy Playdoh set from the Waltons. She helped me spread the tablecloth on the table and I went to the bedroom to fetch her surprise.

I looked. And I looked. In all the shuffling around of things we had to do when getting our new carpet, I had moved it. I hadn’t a clue as to where it was. I searched the house while Isobel followed me saying, “Mama has my Isobel’s present?” Determined to make good on my promise and fulfill the desire for outdoor furniture for Isobel at the same time, we went to the dollar store to look for plastic chairs.

They are just as I remembered them. Decorated with ambiguous anime-style animals and hilarious Engrish sayings, these chairs did not disappoint. My favorite is YOU OVER THERE. Because who doesn’t need a chair that is kind of shouting at them? Adorable.

These chairs are versatile, stackable, and light. If you don’t believe me, here’s a picture of a baby lifting one.

Oh, and did I mention that they are wonderfully suited for a kiddie pool?

As if these chairs could not get any better, they are stamped with the number 5 recycling symbol, so if they break because Mama sits on one, I don’t even have to throw it away. I can toss it in my blue recycling bin on collection day.

Isobel was thrilled with the chairs from the moment she spotted them. I picked up extras not only for playdate purposes (you can imagine the toddler brawl that might break out over these babies) but because they are toys in their own right. Isobel played with them solidly for over an hour when we got home. In the driveway.  She did not even want to wait to go inside the house to play with them, and since the weather was nice, I let her sit in the driveway, stacking and unstacking, arranging and changing to her heart’s content.

Also we were watching some crows makeoutfight over Corn Nuts, so there was free entertainment. Ah, the glamorous life I lead.

Four chairs, four bucks total. Not bad at all.