Tag Archives: Friends

Snapshot

4 Jan

Here’s what I’ve been up to:

– I have so much to share, I don’t know where to begin.

– Christmas was great despite the head colds Isobel, Anthony and I succumbed to on Christmas Eve. As I mentioned in my scrapbook post, we ended up cancelling on three of our holiday activities and spent the day playing hours and hours of Mass Effect. Quality family bonding, obviously.

– I hope everyone saw this year’s Christmas card(s). It was difficult, but I think I managed to top last year’s.

– Isobel got a ton of new toys, which I have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, Yay, presents! on the other hand I now have a crap load of stuff to organize and fit in to our already toy-filled abode. She received lots of fancy, expensive toys, but the gift she liked the best (after the vintage 1983 Care-a-lot plus bears, obviously) were the inexpensive set of blocks from her grandparents. We enjoyed them, too. Perhaps being sick had something to do with it, but she spent Christmas day in a new-toy stupor.

– New Years’ was even better. As a family we had all recovered from our malaise and we spent two whole days eating, hanging out with friends who drove in from all over, and playing Scribblish, with hilarious results. We now have a new saying: “I’m trippin’ balls off that Care Bear stare!”

– I’m having a lot of fun thinking up new goals and items for my life list. I’ll share the revised version later this month.

– Remember when I set up a twitter account for Isobel so I could record her milestones, but instead it became yet another outlet for my ridiculousness? Me, neither. But the other day the idea suddenly popped into my head that I could use that account to tweet actual things she says to me, rather than things I made up based on my best assumptions and my faultless mother’s intuition. If you want to encourage me in my delusions or hear about how much she loves the Care Bears constantly, you can follow her on twitter here.

– Everyone deserves a little something pretty to start the new year off right, so don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a chance to win a free Vegan-approved handmade bow from Inez Gill! These little babies are adorable and the contest is open until Friday. Don’t forget to follow Inez Gill on twitter. Not only will it give you an extra entry in the contest, but she tweets as a real person, not as a business, so she’s great to talk to as well.

– My friend Camilla sent me a whole box of cookbooks and they arrived just in time for Christmas. My favorites so far are the ones that involve cooking with kids, which she sent my way especially for Isobel. Right now our favorite is the Peter Rabbit and Friends Cook Book, which strangely had no recipes for hasenpfeffer.

Packing up Christmas is kind of a pain in the ass.

– I’m working on a special project for next week: the Best of Follow Friday 2011. I’m using my favorite 100 photos from last year and choosing the best of the best tweets from 2011 to create seven days of Follow Friday posts. The posts will not only highlight the funniest moments but it will also serve as a scrapbook of the year’s best photos and memories from 2011. I hope you all enjoy it.

– Really and truly, this was one of my favorite New Years of all time.

– I owe everybody (especially @turtleparade) a fabulous recipe for Roast Chickpeas. I haven’t forgotten. It’s coming and it will be worth the wait.

– My friend Korinne and I came up with the latest fad to lose your shit over: Mustache Bird. It’s going to be huge on Etsy.

Photos from the week:

Favorite Links:

– Vintage Alice in Wonderland invitations. I feel a themed party coming on. Via The Red Star Designs.

– My twitter wife shared this video with me: All the Single Ensigns.

– Dave Polak’s adorable kittens have started a Tumblr. As the Jennui once said, “The Internet is made of cats.

– Are you a new parent? Perhaps you’d enjoy the book Give Baldy Your Tit. Via Stray.

– The Dr and Mrs The Doctor Monarch sing Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

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Best of 2011: Scrapbook

29 Dec

These are my favorite Scrapbook and Adventure posts from 2011.

 

Follow Friday: Christmas Elf

16 Dec

Today’s Follow Friday is brought to you by Isobel’s $1.oo thrift store Santa dress. It’s the miniature version of the Christmas dress of my dreams, and since it just barely fits her this is probably the only time she will get to wear it. I’m trying to get as much mileage out of it as possible.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

rileyroxme Can’t wait for the day C.P.S shows up and they’re like “Twitter.” and I’m like “Hold on while I livetweet this blowjob.”

JulieFredericks Newt is having a surge. Gross.

suitcasetricks Email from my husband: “I love you and the Hamburger Helper I’m eating for breakfast.” This guy really knows how to talk to the ladies.

thejohnblog My boss is in the stall next to me. Is it brown nosing if I periodically say “Good one, boss?” Because OH GOD HE TAPPED MY FOOT

dadourianbow Get the fuck outta here you beanie wearing motherfucker. #MerryDissmas

MmeSurly Ruby just called the bad guy from Inspector Gadget “Dr. Claus” which explains why she’s been so nervous lately.

shariv67 I never thought I’d see a day when our phones were smarter than us, and yet here we are.

ProfessorSnack Crotchety: pertaining to the groin. “After a week of not bathing, he smelled crotchety.”

michellehudson Getting in a very sappy life-loving mood this morning. Must be the second cup of coffee.

eliza_evans Do not sign a professional email with ‘Hugs!’ Just don’t.

milonguera @MeganBoley I quoted The Jerk in a reply yesterday. And then favorited myself. Super winner.

neiltyson Suffering existential angst over a Pluto-less mnemonic? Try “My very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nachos”

MeganBoley And yet, I find myself quoting Anchorman in my inner dialogue multiple times a day. So I guess my inner dialogue is obnoxious.

Lilacmess @exlibris You can see Avery Brooks trying to keep that crazy tamed but sometimes he has to let it run free.

simontarr Having an allergic reaction to something. My eyes are so swollen I look like a UC Davis student.

sween Sometimes I see parents with their kids and I get jealous. [Sips beer. Plans leisure activities. Counts disposable income.] So jealous.

jberthume The Dew is required. I am doing it.

ProfessorSnack I just want to get toned enough that dogs want to hump my leg again. #NewYearsResolution

MmeSurly I think Gwyneth Paltrow and I have a lot in common. For instance: I think we both hate Gwyneth Paltrow.

AuntiPax Oh THAT was the deputy? Ok then I guess I shot him too. My bad.

MariaMelee The BBQ I had for lunch is haunting me in a profound way.

pnkrcklibrarian Aging, alternative hipsters apparently spend their nights stuffing balls and listening to a lecture on land tax in England from 1692 – 1963

MrWordsWorth Zombies celebrate the holidays with a Perducken: a person stuffed with a duck and a chicken.

shelldash Google Music is apparently offering me (ME!) “free Dave Matthews Band concerts”. Wondering if Bing Music might counter with “free earplugs”.

CandyWarhole You don’t know what you got ’til its diagnosed by a licensed physician.

theRratedBull When Texans ask me why I moved to Kansas I just tell ’em I’m a storm chaser because it’s the only reason they could possibly comprehend.

ecsuperhero I have the best work Secret Santa. So far I’ve gotten a wine glass and a McDonald’s g/c. Alcohol and fatty food? YOU COMPLETE ME, SANTA.

sgnp If you want to know how long a minute is, my daughter will be happy to ask you every single second of one.

badbanana My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy. It’s one part rum, three parts pum.

donni Tuneless whistling is about to be the #1 cause of murder-suicides on this bus.

slackmistress I don’t think I know who Ryan Gosling is which is probably a sign that my ladyparts are going to fall out.

sarcasmically …Is UPS not doing too well? Because the UPS man just rolled up to my house in a golf cart.

jenstatsky A lot of oddly-shaped presents get a bad wrap.

sarcasmically Just yelled “USE YOUR WORDS” at the whining dog, so it’s probably time I called it a day.

rstevens Warning to all who visit: My wifi is now called Invisible Touches

badbanana “I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don’t want a blue collar job.” – Everyone who eventually becomes a judge.

theleanover If reality was better we probably wouldn’t need pretend talking.

pilotbacon I only drink coffee so I can stare at a blank Final Draft document for longer than usual.

mikeleffingwell Super surprised to find out the most popular song played at orgies is “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”

johnmoe Still unclear whether the next debate will be hosted by Larry the wacky neighbor from Three’s Company or Jo from Facts of Life.

mylifeasadad I’m scraping Alela’s two day old butternut squash purée off my sweater because really, no one will ever know.

tommycm if today were a labrador, i’d have it humanely put down.

steenyweeny i’m named after an ancient sumerian god who used a giant spiked hockey stick to clobber the skulls of those who said ‘holy doodle’ too much.

sarcasmically When is “fuckton” going to be officially accepted as a unit of measurement? –because it is probably the one I use most.

ohnoCAPSLOCK Jack is having a growth spurt. I just leaked milk through a breast pad and three layers of shirts. #sexyandclassy

davepolak I am coming up with my strategic game plan to maximize the amount of ham I eat over the holidays.

sgnp Not a big fan of someone entering the restroom immediately after me and then choosing the stall next to mine, like we’re in a horrible race.

JRehling Like my desk wasn’t messy enough already, now it’s totally covered with Higgs Bosons.

InfiniteChicken You haven’t heard Christmas music until you’ve heard it in a lobby, transposed into augmented minors by a jazz combo.

RailbirdJ Worst Christmas gift? A dolphin t-shirt. Take a second to look at my avi. Do I look like a dolphin guy to you?

helgagrace It’s that time of year! People coming in to the library to find out their property values.

ajthizzle Ok. I need to do something productive. Butt, say goodbye to couch. No, don’t linger. It’s better this way.

MassageByTed In the way that protesters sometimes throw red paint on people in furs, I propose throwing some sort of ersatz jizz on guys in Tapout gear.

apodixis I don’t really want to go to Funkytown, to be honest.

BillCorbett I finally get it! “We built this city on rock-and-roll,” meaning they smothered and crushed rock-and-roll under huge buildings, killing it.

EvenMoreSarah Me to the dog: “Come here, little fellow.” My BF: “Did you just call the dog a dildo?” Oh sure, *I’m* the one who needs my ears cleaned

JerryThomas Klout “believes” that I am “influential about iPhone.” Do you hear that, iPhone? (give me a free iPhone)

CParkhurst1 I strongly suspect that after the fourth day of Christmas, someone started dropping hints that more bird gifts would not be appreciated.

MisterSnuggl3s I have to carb load before brushing my teeth. In case you were curious about what kind of athlete I am.

Patheticist You can unconditionally love children and animals, other adult humans must have a few conditions.

hipstermermaid Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before weed, forget how to rhyme.

MeganBoley Twitter, I never say goodnight to you. I always just doze off in mid-conversation like we are at a 5th grade sleepover. Goodnigdkendkjszzzzz

CanuckLibrarian Sometimes you just need a little Kool & the Gang.

kaitlin_olson My boobies are getting big. I want to say that makes up for not being able to drink, not sleeping well and often peeing my pants.

RothNotIRA “I love you dada. I love you couch.” Well, at least I’m on par with furniture.

corrinrenee Autocorrect just changed my name to Cotton Floater.

SpaghettiJesus EVERY KNIFE BEGINS WITH KAY. #HappyHolidays

theleanover If I was a Hispanic hair dresser I would name my salon “Jesus Dyed.”

NoReservations What Would Jesus Eat? Apparently pigeon.

muffpunch “Who’s this Ting Ting person and why is he in my CD player?” Oh, mom.

apelad Why is everyone so concerned about my eyesight? Every email I get begins with “having trouble viewing this message?” The answer is no!!

Greeblemonkey We’re working on more homemade Christmas presents tonight, which basically means I am covered head to toe with modpodge.

cheekyattitude Took a while, but I overcame my fear of butternut squash.. in its defense, it wasn’t really trying to maim me.

burnstand AWW YEAH! Dropping food flakes in to my brand new keyboard! This thing is gonna be disgusting before you can say “gluttony”!

notthatkendall In the massage train of life, I am on the wrong end.

mikeleffingwell There are no atheists in foxholes. All foxes are Hindu.

The_Pigeon Just did a 5K run. I put 5 thousand dollars in my pants & got outta there.

DachsundDays And I saw a gigantic evil badger on a throne with 13 chihuahuas at his feet, yipping the theme from The Omen . . .

NicLewis “The best part of waking up? No, you’ve got Folgers in your cup.” #HonestSlogans

SpaghettiJesus “The world runs on starch and animal fat” #honestslogans

ecareyo It’s almost like the E! channel specifically knows that I’ll dedicate many hours watching a countdown of the most notorious lady murderers

JohnFugelsang Mitt Romney is as genuine as a mass emailing from Phoenix University.

JerryThomas If you need anybody to lie utterly motionless on the couch for six hours tomorrow let me know.

CorporateMonkey “only way I’m dropping trou in front of that many people is if there are Quaaludes involved.” -actual convo occurring in my office right now

ncguk “We spent so long looking for the Higgs boson, and all the time it was in our hearts.” — Higgs Boson Christmas Special

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Scrapbook: Christmas Parade

11 Dec

We went to the local Christmas parade last weekend with our friends the Waltons and the Serios. It was Isobel’s fourth parade but the first one she was aware of what parades actually were. Valerie brought a surprise for the kids–glow sticks, which (unsurprisingly) were a huge hit. Note to self bring glow sticks to the parade next year. They’d also be really fun during fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Each time a float rolled past us Isobel called it a bus, and she kept saying, “I want to go on the bus! Mama and Isobel go on the bus.” She said it so firmly, as if she said it with enough conviction it would come true. I didn’t feel like lugging my regular camera around so instead I packed Camera Jr, which means the photos are kind of terrible but I love them nonetheless.

Warriors, Come Out And Play

15 Nov

Imagine running three and a half miles in the dust, over hills, on a trail studded with giant piles of steaming horse crap. Imagine scaling walls, swimming through mud, and leaping over open flames. Imagine enduring this ordeal with thousands of other sweating competitors, some of them dressed up as batman, ninjas, or a banana. Imagine, doing this for fun.

Welcome, athletes, to the Warrior Dash!

When Anthony first told me he wanted to run in Warrior Dash with friends, I had only a vague notion of the obstacles. I naively imagined him leaping over hurdles and high-stepping it through a checkerboard of tires. So I invited my friend Angela, who recently took up running as a hobby, to join us. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Anthony and some friends are going to run a race in October. It’s short and it’s supposed to be fun. I think it’s called the Warrior Dash. Wanna come?

Angela: Sure! Let me look it up online.

Me: Okay.

Angela: … This race involves jumping over fire.

Me: WHAT?!

Angela: Yeah. And a lot of barbed wire. And a blackout tent, and a mud pit, and two piles of fire.

Me: Oh. Well, do you want to come and watch? I’m not running, obviously.

Angela: No, I’m still interested in doing it. I’m just a little worried about the fire.

And that, folks, is why Angela is BAD. ASS.

The Warrior Dash is so popular that heats are scheduled on the hour all weekend long and each heat hosts five hundred people. They sell out fast, so while Angela registered for the noon heat, Anthony and our other friends had to sign up for the heat that started an hour later. When we arrived there were already thousands of people there, some covered in mud that was already beginning to crust and dry in the arid heat of the late summer sun. It was hot, hotter than usual for the foothills and hotter than it had been previously that week. It was only eleven in the morning and we were working up a sweat just standing there. The runners signed up for later in the day were going to have a rough time of it.

What sets the Warrior Dash apart from other obstacle course challenges is the light-hearted spirit of the event. Many runners wore elaborate costumes and everyone who participates earns themselves a t-shirt, a Viking hat, a medal and a free beer. It was a physical challenge, no doubt about it, but the emphasis was on fun. When I saw someone get stuck at the top of a 20-foot wall, the paramedics were arranging a way to get her down when she conquered her fear of heights and climbed down on her own. The crowd cheered for her ecstatically. This is what I loved about the Warrior Dash. The crowd could have looked down on her for getting scared. Instead, they cheered her victory.

After the race, mud-soaked competitors were invited to donate their shoes to a charity that would clean them up and send them to third-world countries where they were needed.

Before we even parked the car we started spotting costume after costume. Groups of people signed up to run the race a team all sporting themed costumes. Our friend Jaime, Alicia and her boyfriend all going to dressed in homemade Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes. For whatever reason their heat was filled with people dressed as TMNT, despite the fact that none of the other heats seemed to have not so much as a non-mutant turtle costume. While I waited for Anthony and Jaime to run by I kept my eyes peeled for turtles and became disappointed each time that another competitor, dressed as a turtle, ran by.

I have to admit a small amount of jealousy for the mud-soaked competitors. Not that I wanted to be soaked in mud, because, uh, no thanks. But the race, as hard as it was, looked undeniably fun. Justin and I came along for picture-taking, bag holding, and moral support, and even he talked about running it with Angela next year. Just attending the event was hard enough for me. The standing and the walking was enough to make me stiff and sore and arthritic for the next two days. No Warrior Dash is in my future.

After watching the runners start the race flanked by plumes of fire, we waited for them in the spectator area where we could watch them scale two obstacle walls before witnessing the leap through fire and the slog through the mud pit. Angela climbed the rope wall with no problem. I saw many people skip this obstacle entirely.

Then she scaled the net climb with no difficulty.

I regret to say I have no photos of her leaping fire or treading through mud. The timing of the heats meant I had to leave in order to watch Anthony’s heat, but Justin followed her and got pictures, including this one, that I shamelessly stole from her twitter stream:

Afterwards, she cleaned up with a hundred other people in the one shower provided: a fire truck’s hose. She managed to change her clothes, but look at her hair:

While waiting for Anthony’s heat to run by we spotted some amusing costumes.

The 80s Aerobic group:

Fred & Wilma Flintsone… an amazing couple in their sixties:

A lady dressed as Mario:

Apollo:

A ripped bunny-dude:

A bunch of bananas:

Some convicts:

Reno 911 and whatever she is:

Tron:

Two Ghost Busters:

And my personal favorite, Colonel Sanders and a flock of chickens:

We kept spotting Waldos all day long, also:

Anthony’s group was at the end of line since we wanted to wait and watch Angela go by.

After seeing dozens of turtles run by (and I’m not just saying this, but their TMNT costumes were by far the best of the day), we finally saw our guys.

After they scaled the net wall Angela, Justin and I had to literally sprint all the way to the fire pits in order to watch them jump the flames. We barely made it in time for me to snap one of Jaime.

The fire truck shower kept reminding me of that Weird Al movie UHF, and the children’s show where Michael Richard’s character kept telling kids, “You get to drink from… the fire hose!” blasting the lucky kid right off the stage.

It’s a good thing that day was so hot, because the water was reportedly ice cold.

After we ate and everyone cleaned off we stopped Casa de Fruita for some pomegranate wine and miner’s hats and called it a day. The end.

Follow Friday – For Stefanie

21 Oct

I can’t thank you all enough for all the kind words of support and encouragement in the comments, and twitter, and via email. They have been a light in a dark time. I could feel you rooting for me and that has made such a difference. Some of your words have brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Thank you.

This week’s post is a little shorter than usual, given my recent setback, but it was important for me to put this together because I’m starting to feel more functional again. Doing normal activities helps as long as I take breaks and try not to get overwhelmed. Another reason it was important for me to post is that tomorrow is my dear friend Stefanie’s birthday and I wanted to dedicated this week’s theme to her. Happy birthday, gorgeous lady. I look forward to celebrating many more.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

annakarenine swimming in a sea of yogurt and animosity. (the two aren’t related.)

iamsambee ‘Moustache rides’ are never really free, are they?

jillgengler Snoop Dog is the same age as me? Somehow I feel that much better about life.

InfiniteChicken The cat’s forehead was sort of stinky this morning. Ominous portent.

FAKEGRIMLOCK NOT ENOUGH COFFEE. EVERYONE ABOUT TO DIE.

steenyweeny this moment marks the first time in my life i’ve craved oatmeal. worried i’m dying.

redbull Beware of the #vegan zombie. He wants to eat your graaaain.

FannyOvrTeacups The direction of my fantasies veers dangerously off-course when I’ve been off carbs for too long. #poptarts

Patheticist I have the ability to see things very clearly a couple of years after they happen.

BridgetCallahan Carlos Santana didn’t DIE people, he’s just reunited with Castaneda and they are working on an album of Mozart guitar remixes.

bebehblog OMFG TODDLERS.

johnmoe “Gadhafi’s dead? Whoa. Wow. WOW. Where’s my guitar?” – Carlos Santana

annakarenine Today would have been a good day to watch Totoro and drink tea wrapped in a blanket.

johnmoe Wait, there was a radio friendly edit of Straight Outta Compton. Thanks, Spotify. You made my morning weird.

NerdSnark I put the “if” in “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”

TheWaltWhitman Me and this chocolate cake are gonna make some beautiful babies.

AlisonAgosti I don’t know, Boardwalk Empire. Are all of these tits historically accurate?

mrdavehill Dear all bands: Not everyone in the band has to have a beard. Start with the drummer and if you still suck, just add beards as needed.

 

notthatkendall I made that couch my bitch.

Toaster_Pastry I don’t classify myself as a “Hater,” only a “Disapprover.”

Patheticist I’ve seen your naked mind and it’s super sexy.

pnkrcklibrarian  My goal for 2012 is to spell “initials” “millennium” and “maintenance” without having to use spell check/google/etc. The bar is so low.

That_Biz  My kids are so polite to wait 3.5 seconds before grinding their pretzel sticks into my just vacuumed carpet.

johnmoe Ol’ Dirty Bunches of Oats #HipHopBreakfastCereal

joeinverarity This Broccoli Cheddar soup tastes like… SOUP! With broccoli, and cheese… most likely cheddar. Now I know what eternal life tastes like.

beardedarmenian Herman Cain: “Homosexuality is a personal choice, and I respect their choice.” What a guy. In return, I respect his choice to be black.

kellyoxford Jenna Jameson to Oprah: “There’s a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone.” I’m pretty sure she got that backwards.

ScrewyDecimal MC Hammer is going to open up a lot of doors for people. Next up is Vanilla Ice’s news reader: “Stop, Aggregate, and Listen.”

ohrebecca Eyes on the prize. Eyes on the guacamole prize.

the818 What did Lindsay Lohan do to her face, and why did she do it?

bookavore There is actually a book coming out called BREAD IS THE DEVIL. Feels weird, wanting to punch a book.

S_Lingenfelter Excerpt from my new children’s book: “If you give a tiger a monkey with herpes, he will probably ask for a glass of milk.”

thomastowell I’m chaperoning the high school dance this Friday. Gonna put my dog in the punch bowl, cause hey, someone’s got to Spike it.

joeinverarity Ooh, I broke 700 followers. Thank you, fake, fake world!

robdelaney Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.

morninggloria I keep seeing “Gaddafi Dead” and thinking I see “Gandalf dead.” Spoiler alert, hobbits: he comes back in the next book as Muammar the White.

EmpressReeve Dreamed a long, boring church service was about to begin and Fred Astaire emerged from behind the bushes to entertain me!

leahlibrarian Does anyone else yell out “cntrl Z” when they want to undo something in life? #nerdalert

sgnp Going back down into the job hole. Remember me!

cbnickras I cling to “defriend” over “unfriend” because it’s closer to “delouse.” #facebook

coolteen420 i like my alcohol like i like my petulant white dudes: 53%

mommywantsvodka Just got an email for “half off at Chunky’s diner.” Let me tell you all the ways a restaurant shouldn’t be called “Chunky.”

apodixis By joking to my girlfriend I could go as a slutty nurse for Halloween I seem to have unwittingly set in motion a plan to make that happen.

JeffKlinger Hey anybody wanna RT one of my tweets? I forget what I write and wouldn’t mind reading it again.

slackmistress My husband @betheboy is leaving for 10 days. I’m going to miss us both on the couch with our laptops speaking to each other thru Twitter.

slackmistress Why doesn’t Def Jam make a line of artisan jellies?

SpaghettiJesus If you walk up to me in a shirt that zips & you don’t expect me to unzip it, you’re dumb. Even if you do expect me to unzip it, you’re dumb.

homeskooledkid “Must every scene you do end in a pistols’ duel at dawn?!?!” – What my writing teacher will say, probably.

Sigafoos @exlibris I know it regulates breathing and all, but the brain can be a prick sometimes.

ampersandwich My hair is doing its best impression of a diplodocus this morning.

TheNextMartha Hobby Lobby has seen lost and confused consumerism shoot up by 345% since the start of Pinterest.

MrWordsWorth Google Buzz is being shut down. But there’s still your Google powered vibrator, ladies.

mochamomma Just got some great advice from a friend: “Stress eating leads to stress pooping.” Probably still won’t stop me, though.

KeepingYouAwake We joke that, when we get old, we’ll all be yelling at kids to get off the grass. I plan to still be on the grass, even then.

DalaiLama I sent that bitch an inspirational message. Bitches love inspirational messages.

michaeljnelson I avoid any appointment where I have to be touched: dentist, haircut, doctor’s physical, tire rotation. I mean, the guy’s gentle but still.

UnicornFlavored When Z asks for more of her snack, I walk around & pick up all the ones she spilled on the floor & put em back in her bowl.

DesirreAndrews I still believe if Rosetta Stone offered a Star Trek and Tolkien language series it would sell more than routine languages.

wheelfreed  If i ever write a rags to riches rap song, there will be a lyric about moving from one section of Costco to another.

80sMomKara It is a little sad, and a little funny, to watch your husband wax the car with an old Duran Duran T-shirt featuring a Patrick Nagel nude.

TheNextMartha Martha Replacement Allegra-D is my lover.

apelad I’m giving a presentation in my son’s first grade class in a few minutes. I’m going to get into some deep, cerebral cartooning theories.

ericsiry The beautiful morning sunlight streaming into my home through the balcony doors is illuminating just how badly I need to dust.

jennspiller The news from Twitter: In the US today, everyone is exhausted, not sufficiently caffeinated, wants to go shopping, and needs pie.

freudiantypo ME: Stupidly, the past perfect tense uses the imperfect tense of the auxiliary verb! BF: Honey, I don’t understand calculus.

apodixis Boring people almost never know they’re boring. I don’t think I’m boring, so logically I MUST be a boring person. As this tweet makes clear.

byronblurb Quartz rock: “You’re telling me we’re alike but different in some ways?” Limestone rock: “My sediments exactly.”

ProfessorSnack @exlibris The tampon chooses the vagina.

InfiniteChicken Need a new dentist. Trying to choose between Guy Crushy’s House Of Teeth and Comfort Dental.

crunchyvtmommy *whispers to kids* sleep till five and everyone gets an iPad.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Scrapbook: Jose and Lupe’s Wedding

19 Sep

I don’t think I could sum up all the fun we had at our friends’ Jose and Lupe’s wedding. A million wonderful things happened, large and small, and it seems impossible that all those events were packed into two short days. I’m not even going to attempt a recap, so instead I’m just going to share snippets of my my favorite memories. These are the things I’ll remember:

The Mexican folk sayings that were read as part of the ceremony. Anthony leaning over and whispering their meanings in my ear, as the entire ceremony was conducted in Spanish.

The absolute, exquisite beauty of Lupe. Gorgeous on a bad day, she looked like a goddess.

Stef and I dressing like identical little old ladies.

Melynda’s awesome black feather fascinator.

How skinny Angela looked.

How nice Zack looked.

How utterly happy Jose and Lupe looked.

How, as a group, we managed to stand in the least convenient spots for a group to stand in throughout our trip.

Heading to dim sum post-ceremony because Dave threatened to catch and eat lizards.

Stef and I spilling bits of dim sum on our dresses. I accidentally dropped rice in my bra and told everyone I’d be throwing it at Jose and Lupe later.

Seeing our friend Aaron again for the first time in years.

Everyone sharing whatever they ordered.

Dave ordering the giant meat balls.

 The inevitable piping match that broke out while waiting for the piñata.

Jake and Ben’s best men speech, and how they tied in Jose’s love of comics and superheroes.

The first drink I ordered wasn’t mixed properly and it came out so gross I couldn’t help but say, “Oh, gross! This tastes like the dentist!” This prompted so much curiosity from my friends that we passed the drink around the table and everyone sampled “the dentists drink.”


Jacob, who had been drinking, trying to convince his younger brother Caleb, who had not been drinking, to drive Ben’s car home because Ben is drunk. Although Caleb immediately agrees to drive the car, Jacob continues to try to persuade Cay to drive home for at least five more minutes, wherein Cay agrees to do it several more times. Fun fact: Ben is not actually drunk. At all.

Angela and I dancing to a song and realizing everyone knows the words to except us. Agreeing it’s not on our ipods nor is it from a children’s song. Realizing we are old.

The pastel song, and me explaining to everyone that the lyrics were basically “We want cake, cake, cake, cake, cake!” Everyone’s surprise at its meaning, followed by everyone agreeing that it was the best song ever. Angela declaring, “I want that as my ringtone!”

Lupe’s parents, who were among the first on the dance floor and the last to leave. They danced us all under the table.

The crazy crack-the-whip game the single men and women played before the bouquet and garter toss. The men flying by while we cheered for our friends. The line snaking past us and Jake shouting back, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” Poor Zack at the end, taking a beating.

Dancing to Mexican music with no real knowledge of how to do so. Looking completely ridiculous. The wildly inappropriate dancing we were doing in general. The wedding photographers crowding around us to take photos of the crazy white people.

The little boy who crashed hard and fell asleep before the reception was over. How sweetly he was draped over his father’s shoulder as he was carried home.

Realizing we’re probably going to make fun of Angela’s mom when we’re ninety, at which point we’ll have to end each joke with “may she rest in peace.”

Being driven back to the hotel by Melynda and Justin and comparing Dick Cheney to a honey badger while drunk tweeting. The first tweet made me sound way drunker than I was because autocorrected changed almost every word in that sentence. In autocorrect’s defense, however, I have no idea what I was actually trying to say. And, incase you were wondering, yes, Melynda is my homepants.

The $4.00 bottle of water in every hotel room.

The imagining the people who used to live in historic Dolce Hayes Mansion.

The telephones next to the toilets.

Discovering the copy of the Teachings of Buddha in lieu of the traditional Bible in our hotel drawer.

Anthony falling asleep on the Walton’s hotel room bed, snoring in the middle of our conversation. Stefanie saying I was going to have to fireman-carry him back to the hotel room. Me waking him up and Anthony thinking we’re calling it a night because I’m tired.

Waking up the next day and finding our hotel to be out of the motherfucking coffee. Inconceivable! Doesn’t this hotel know that we are old and hung over and we need our goddamn coffee?

Stealing hotel chairs from the various lounge areas to add to the Walton’s hotel room as it filled with more and more people.

The table at breakfast with the inane graffiti.

Justin, grabbing my camera to take photos while I am dancing. As is our custom, we will each take the other’s camera and take photos on it when the other is not around, including at least one gratuitous shot of someone’s butt. Justin, upping the ante by taking three gratuitous butt shots, including one belonging to his dancing, and completely unaware, wife.

The constant, hilarious, occasionally staged, photo bombs. It practically became a competition by the end of the night.

Anthony waking up early and staggering into the bathroom. He makes such a strange noise I think he must be barfing excess alcohol. Worried, I rush in to find him standing at the sink, water bottle in hand, crying, “FOUR FUCKING DOLLARS?!”

Scrapbook: Babysitting Kingston

9 Aug

Forgive the lack of words here lately. I’ve been experiencing an unpleasant flare up of my Crohn’s disease and it’s left me depleted. I’m doing all the things I know to do that generally helps my body back to its own state of normal, but sometimes these things take time. I’m trying to be patient with me.

Recently my bestie and her husband worked on the arduous task of dismantling their entire house and moving all of their worldly possessions into a new home a few miles away. Really, just thinking about moving makes me tired, so I figured the least I could do is babysit their son for them for a few hours.

All of this happened, however, while my husband was out of town, which makes me insane for volunteering to watch two toddlers all by myself. Kingston immediately got to work breaking all the things:

Ha! I got news for you, kid! I have cats and a toddler myself, so all the things that could be destroyed already have been. Long ago.  Take that, Danger Baby!

When I asked Isobel what she was doing in this picture, she responded, “Exercise.”


I hope Kingston had as much fun as we did. Isobel and I slept very well that night.

Summertime, and the Thriftin’s Easy

3 Aug

What do you do when some of your best friends come into town for a visit? Same thing you always did together – thrifting! Today I’m showcasing the  Thrift Store Gore but I also had some pretty sweet scores, too, including this find here.

Just to recap, this is the Little Big Thrifting Pyramid. Most of the stuff you find while thrifting is unremarkable, while a much smaller portion of that is stuff that is awesome, and an even smaller percentage of that is what I call Thrift Store Gore.

First up, our Goodwill has an agreement with our local Target to take some of their unsold merch off their hands, so there is always a small section of brand new goods in the store. Including this device which had a long and complicated name only Scott can remember, but which we referred to as “The Grab ‘n Grab.” Here’s Scott Grab ‘n Grabbing me.

I was of course saying, “Hey Scott! Stop ‘n Stop!”

As it happens often, pictures are donated to thrift stores with the original family photos still in them.  When Angela held this up Scott said, “I have been looking all over for a picture of that lady!”

We found this. I think that’s all I have to say on the matter.

We decided this shirt must be business casual for Hooters.

"Just looking for honey LOL"

I got the distinct feeling I was being watched while thrifting.

What I love about this 80s mug is that someone waited all this time, for maybe thirty years, before they decided it was time to let go. Which I can understand. This mug looks like Max Headroom himself wished you a Happy Birthday.

"I think the baby jesus is faaaaaabulous!"

This is the sassiest camel sculpture ever. I can only imagine awesome nativity scene this came from. Most fashionable holy family ever.

"That's the last time I drink Leprechaun Car Bombs."

I don’t know about you, but count me out of the sort of hangover that makes you lose an eye.

Stef found some pretty epic Jazzercise and fauxzzercise records. The 80s was a weird time. A time when you worked out to albums.

Look at this sweet dinosaur tuxedo vest. It was toddler-sized. If only I had a son!

Donated by The Most Interesting Toddler In The World.

The photo below is notable for two reasons: one, it’s like whomever made the horse decided it had two butts and attached the hair accordingly, and two, damn, that is probably the second best photobomb of all time. Good work, manic pumpkin!

(The best photobomb of all time, of course, is found here.)

"I don't have a shirt awesome enough to wear with these pants."

These pants had lobsters embroidered all over them. Lobsters. As everyone knows, lobsters never go out of style. You can wear them past labor day even though they are white because they have lobsters on them, and the Queen herself would approve. Which Queen, you ask? Any queen. Ever. Anywhere. Because, you guys, lobster pants.

Oh, I should mention that while thrifting we found this book, which pretty much proves time travel exists. It talked about how everyone rides in rockets and how we all enjoy space travel. Clearly, a time-traveling Sam Clemens was reading it when he accidentally left it on a bus somewhere. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Art Bell about this but it’s really hard to talk on the phone while wearing my tinfoil hat.

"Yay, Armegeddon!"

Stef found this book especially for Jake. I think she secretly regrets not buying it for herself.

"Just ate all the sugarplum fairies LOL"

And I’m ending this trip with something straight out of  music’s newest sensation: Tchaikovsky’s The Zombie Nutcracker Suite. Merry Early Zombie Christmas!

Scrapbook: Visiting Jose & Lupe

6 Jul

Just as Isobel and I were settling in to my new job we realized that Anthony had a week’s worth of vacation coming up. Our plans consisted mostly of working on our yard and putting up a pergola, but we wanted to leave town at least once for an overnight visit to a friend who was willing to put us and our occasionally cranky toddler up for the night.

Our friends Jose and Lupe had been encouraging us to visit them for quite some time now so we decided to take them up on their generous offer and sleep on their floor.

It was such a wonderful trip all the way around: much shorter than driving to the city, San Jose is interesting and a great place to travel with a toddler, not the least reason being our visit to the Children’s Discovery Museum that I’ll be writing about later.

Jose is a good friend of ours from way back. He was in our wedding and procured two large, handmade pinatas for the reception. He is an exceptionally talented artist and funny and kind. He is engaged to the beautiful Lupe who has since become our good friend, too.

Jose and Lupe have a Chihuahua mix named Chibi who pretty much provided the entertainment. Isobel fell in deep BFF love with this dog and played with him from the moment we arrived till the moment we left. The only reason she fell asleep at night is because Jose put Chibi in his crate at bedtime. I tried to get photos of the cuteness that was them playing together, but they all turned out more or less like the photo above.

Isobel took a particular liking to Lupe who let her dig through her bracelets and jewelry like they were pieces of treasure. My kid somehow conned Lupe into giving her a bracelet covered in small jingle bells plus small zippered purse that Isobel now calls “my pocket.”

For breakfast Jose and Lupe took us to Cafe San Jose. I had the most amazing Redwood Eggs Benedict with pineapple and bacon and I kind of wanted to die all over my plate. Isobel had a minor meltdown while we waited for our food, and our friends got to see first-hand how fun parenting can be. Yay! After she calmed down, the Starfall app saved the day until her pancakes arrived.

We spent the late morning and the early afternoon walking around Willow Glen. Lupe took us to a favorite thrifting spot. It’s been my goal to hit up a thrift store in every new town we visit so I was very excited. This particular store was called The Thrift Box, which I found funny because I am twelve.

Just tell people you got it at “The Box.”

This daisy needlepoint was in the window and had I seen it while I was in the store you know I would have snapped it up immediately. I found several treasures there and now have a very good opinion of San Jose thrift stores in general.

After thrifting we went to an amazing children’s bookstore called Hicklebee’s.

Just look at the inside of this shop:

Needless to say, I now want a reading bathtub. And most of the contents of that store.

Hicklebee’s is a mecca for authors and illustrators of children’s books and sections of the store are covered in their autographs and drawings.

They also sold a small selection of fun toys. Like these nerd glasses I told Anthony he needed.

I don’t mean to turn this post into a glowing endorsement for Hicklebee’s, and it goes without saying that I’m not receiving compensation for writing about them, but they are just the kind of store I wish America had more of: a local business that fosters a joy of reading and wonder in children and adults alike.

After eating and wandering around town a bit we left for the museum and Jose and Lupe had to get back to their lives of moving and changing jobs and planning a wedding. You know, stress-free sorts of activities like that.

We had such a great time that even now Isobel comes up to me and says, “Mama, remember Lupe? Remember Chibi?”