Tag Archives: Little Big’s Thrifting Pyramid

Thrift Store Gore: Buy Rite

14 Sep

It’s time for another round of: Thrift! Store! Gore!

Everyone remembers the Little Big Thrifting Pyramid, yes?

Okay then! First of all, look at the photo at the top of this post. You know you are going to find good stuff just by the paint job. In fact, I’ve seen velour track suits in thrift stores that would coordinate perfectly. This particular store is different from most of the places I shop. For one thing, they have security. They check your bags before you leave and look you over when you come in. Any backpacks or too large purses are to be left by the door. They won’t guarantee your items will still be there when you leave, but you can’t take them with you. This store is hard core.

For all that hassle, you go inside and this store is packed, I mean packed, from floor to ceiling, with a secondhand wonderland. Most of it, I’ll tell you right now, is crap. But the sheer number of crap guarantees a few treasures. The inside isn’t just full of junk, either: on a daily basis that store is as packed as a Ross Dress for Less. It’s insane. Back in the day this store was held in a building three or four times its current size (and it’s not exactly small now) and in high school Anthony or Angela and I used to make the trek a couple towns over in some unreliable car or another and load up. Back then, though, thrifting goodness practically grew on trees.

This skirt was amazing. It was velvet and even brighter in person than it is in pictures. It’s full-length, because you want as much of your body covered in this fabric as possible.

Oh man. When I look at this commuter mug I think, “Damn! That is an awful mug.” And then I think, “Damn! Why didn’t I buy that cute brown mug with the fruit on it underneath that ugly mug!”

This is another one of those Thrift Store Gores that I wish I would have bought. “Grandma,” in Old E? Dude, Grandma is gangsta.

I would like a matching doll that says, “I Have A Restraining Order On You This Much.”

Melynda found this book and I thought it was hysterical. I have never heard of the Pet Psychic but probably everyone else knows about her because she’s on TV. I am glad I have no idea what my pets are thinking. I can only imagine Jupiter’s thoughts are appalling.

Part of me wishes I got this board game to give to my friend Scott. Scott is German so he might appreciate it. Then again, if you look at the illustration of the guy on the front it looks like this game causes nervous breakdowns and possibly intestinal distress, so maybe he wouldn’t appreciate it after all.

The only thing more gangsta than a grandma mug would have to be a bright orange Bob Ross shirt. You are killing it today, white people! Killing it.

I also regret not buying this “Senior Adults Have More Fun” backpack. Maybe they do have more fun, but I don’t want to hear about it. Eeeew.

And finally, we have the 1970s version of the pillow pet, except instead of a reasonably normal-looking stuffed animal, we have here a baby doll’s head in a crazy yellow fur suit.

“Snuggle me!” its face commands. “Lay your head on my butt!”

“I’m a bargain!”

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Follow Friday – OMFN

2 Sep

I recently did a photo shoot for my local chef friend Valerie who wanted to design a menu with photos. They came out so mouthwatering I thought I’d share them. Feel free to be very jealous of me – I got to take home and eat almost everything I shot that day. OMFN is just something I made up, changing Oh My Fucking God to Oh My Fucking Nom. It seemed appropriate at the time and many times since then besides.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

LaurelKS My anniversary is tomorrow! It’s the first one, so I don’t need to be this excited again for four more years!

Squirreljustice The ball boys at the US Open, who scurry across the court all hunched over and shit, are clearly stealing my walk of shame technique.

letsgetgizzy If I ever fall in love, I want Michel Gondry to direct it.

hotdogsladies Somehow, I feel like I could get a lot more accomplished if I hired three lady backup singers in leather pants.

jenstatsky When I say a woman “seems like she has her shit together,” that’s basically me saying, “Pretty sure she shaves her legs more often than I do.”

a_outburst Literally spent hours mowing our lawn. I think we need sheep.

burnstand Funk is like the most gentle, caring, understanding lover I’ve ever had.

Athenabee I feel that I need to expose even more of myself online. One time I farted and it was so bad my kid cried. #OvershareWednesday

sbellelauren just thought about orlando bloom and fell down the stairs.

TheSuniverse So gassy today. Let’s be friends.

slackmistress “She’s two cats away from giving up completely.” – ad agency describing the target audience for Pajama Jeans

jberthume I keep trying to play Deus Ex, but my old asserts itself and I get sleepy.

sgnp Rants before pants! #OneSyllableRhymingXBeforeY

premmeridian Gongs before schlongs. #OneSyllableRhymingXBeforeY

JillMorris 91% of Facebook pokes are cries for help.

apodixis God I hope you can’t get herpes by reading someone’s timeline.

PinkPeonies Dear Justin Beiber: I had those glasses first.

notthatkendall “…And then we can play Words with Friends for forever.” – Me to everyone foolish enough to start a game with me

oodja Seriously thinking of changing “DO NOT REMOVE THIS BAND” to “PLEASE REMOVE THIS BAND”, if only to get the contrarians to obey #illwtf

theRratedBull I like to reflect on my life but whenever I do it ignites like an ant under a magnifying glass.

LIFECOACHERS We can’t move on unless we forgive. So it looks like we’ll be staying right fucking here.

ibrill Broken Face #PixiesSuperheroes

sexbiscuit Silver Surfer Rosa #PixiesSuperheroes

apelad Bone Machine #PixiesSuperheroes

sgnp Mister Grieves #PixiesSuperheroes

sgnp Nimrod’s Son #PixiesSuperheroes

johnmoe Debaser #PixiesSuperheroes

knitterplease Tony #PixiesSuperheroes

abdpbt Mini says he wants to read a book. OK, I say. He brings down Deceit, Desire, & The Novel. I tell him I think he’s going to be disappointed.

TheRedQueen Talking to my boss is like taking to a brick wall. Only I think the brick wall is more enjoyable.

HAL9000_Scientists think that there is a supernova in Galaxy M101 – it’s actually a regular nova with its underwear on top of its pants

jszyd I watched Jersey Shore for the first time the other day. I’ve decided I want to move there and pursue a career in murder.

WowItsStephen 1 songwriting duo wrote the themes for Ducktales, TaleSpin, Rescue Rangers, & Gummi Bears. Suck it, Simon & Garfunkel. Suck it slooow.

trumpetcake When people call me a “simpleton” I’m all like, “What that noise you make from your eating hole?” Then I gaze at the sun for an hour.

ieatmykidzsnack I guess Twitter is broken. This is why we can’t have nice things.

michaeljnelson Another unconventional come-on “I’ll give you six dollars to eat this package of hot Chinese mustard. You look like you can handle it.”

badbanana Hey, wait a minute. Did you guys know you can just buy donuts at a store and not even go into work?

UnicornFlavored The Long Beach Antique Market follows over 2,000 people, and recently stopped following me. Over 2,000 people are less annoying than me.

BetterOffJen So maybe Mark and Donnie can make a go of Wahlburgers, but don’t ask me to join you for a hot dog on Boogie Nights Night.

adambuckled People’s horoscope tweets should come as @ replies. I always think they’re telling ME I may be afraid to commit today.

GailSimone According to the Final Destination movies, God is a serial killer.

CourtneyReimer “There are no second acts in American lives and there are no quick trips to Ikea.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald, unedited version

adambonin America Shrugged #bachmannbooknames

adambonin Prejudice and Prejudice. #bachmannbooknames

morepete Are you there, God? It’s me, Crazy Eyes. #bachmannbooknames

stray Four words: “pimp my book truck”. The mind boggles. Flame decals! Spinners! Ground effects! BookTruckNutz!

heyrenees According to facebook the kid with rage issues in my 5th grade class turned out more normal than I did.

johnmoe I’m takin’ names and changin’ games. I’m winnin’ sports and wearin’ jorts. I’m eatin’ puddin’ with Cuba Goodin’. Junior.

pnkrcklibrarian I am going to be that girl who will not be eyeing you lasciviously, but your cheese plate.

theRratedBull When I was a young teenage Vampire I didn’t have any paranormal romances. I mean… let’s get real – pimples don’t sparkle.

The_Daver With coffee, all things are possible.

misskubelik Wow, Emmett Till is trending. I am going to allow myself 30 seconds to feel better about humanity and how TT works.

danforthfrance If I tweeted the way AT&T “provides” Internet, they’d all be like t

MakeMommyCoffee Was going to tweet about how parenthood hasn’t changed my self image but couldn’t get my toddler to stop rummaging in my bra long enough

shinyinfo I read a tweet that said “Dumbledore” as “DumbleCore” and I was like, “I’d listen to that.” #CrazyBrain

lauracope the cake pops at @Starbucks are even better if you let them melt a little in the sun. i think my mouth just got pregnant.

lilpyrogirl The inside of my purse has now managed to jostle open two prescription bottles with child-proof caps. I think my purse has a drug problem.

JerryThomas Also, waffles. RT @DalaiLama I feel that a sense of compassion is the most precious thing there is.

Keex714 Someone tell Jerry Lewis to STOP having kids.

rstevens I wish I got paid to be an asshole. My dad always says it’s important to love what you do.

theleanover Bieber? I don’t even know her!

Bethazon most adorable little kid ever just followed instructions, used dewey numbers and found his book. sometimes, the universe smiles.

JVdesigns Whoever said glitter is the herpes of the craft world should alert the girl in the Twilight shirt outside my office to what this implies.

elloyd74 “We never fight in bed. The grandparents in ‘Willy Wonka’ really knew how to make a marriage work.”

sarcasmically One day I will grow up and stop giggling at this street near our house called “Pack Wood”. Today is not that day.

apelad I am at back to school night. Paste still tastes the same!

Lilacmess My new favorite line from a student essay: “the island was a paradise of tyranny and meat.” I think my husband would like that place.

Greeblemonkey If you questioned Steve Jobs’ reach, the landscaping guys at the table next to me are discussing him and his career at length.

johnmoe “Farewell, Steve Jorbs!” – Coach Z

placito “Why do people care so much about Steve Jobs resigning?” he said as he typed on a square of glass that contained all the music he ever owned.

Pres_Bartlet Well, at least people are talking about Jobs.

scottsimonsWVLA If I ever hang out w/ Pitbull I’m going to make sure to tell him that when he says “Hotel, Motel” that pretty much covers “Holiday Inns” too.

swedishpancake my husband just remembered the name of a too white crew album. I may be rethinking our marriage.

jenstatsky Decided to start going by a pen name. Best I’ve come up with so far is “Bic Papermate.”

EugeniaMorpho @exlibris When I see a mug that says “Love brings rainbows”, I think “Somebody missed grade two science class.”

NicLewis #YourStarshipCaptainMightBeARedneckIf he converted a photon torpedo into a synthehol still.

jawillie #YourStarshipCaptainMightBeARedneckIf If the Captain’s Chair doubles as a Hover-round scooter.

papanic #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif the biggest trouble he has with tribbles is that they are undocumented.

PoisonFox #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif the shuttlecraft are on cinder blocks.

PoisonFox #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif his First Officer is a Basset Hound.

jenifersf #YourStarshipCaptainMightBeARedneckIf He orders you to set phasers to bear, deer or possum.

ChrisDoohan #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif he refers to Klingons as “Critters”

jenifersf #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif He has a working navigation console sitting on top of a non-working navigation console.

swallen62 #YourStarshipCaptainmightbeaRedneckif instead of saying “make it so number one” he says “get ‘er done cuz!”

Mike_FTW Anderson Cooper: “Well, something definitely blew its way through the firehouse last night.”

ecareyo Do people still barter in times of emergency? I’ve got plenty of things I can do without (looks at my college diploma, all of 2005 and 2008)

michael_J_m00n This hurricane is making me so nervous I just evacuated.

tcarmody Like most indie bands, it looks like Hurricane Irene was a lot more rough-edged & powerful before selling out and moving to New York.

Seth_Fried If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY. That’s how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

dirtyvicar Edward or Jacob. Peeta or Gale. Betty or Veronica. People pretend to enjoy love triangles, but what they really want are threeways.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Summertime, and the Thriftin’s Easy

3 Aug

What do you do when some of your best friends come into town for a visit? Same thing you always did together – thrifting! Today I’m showcasing the  Thrift Store Gore but I also had some pretty sweet scores, too, including this find here.

Just to recap, this is the Little Big Thrifting Pyramid. Most of the stuff you find while thrifting is unremarkable, while a much smaller portion of that is stuff that is awesome, and an even smaller percentage of that is what I call Thrift Store Gore.

First up, our Goodwill has an agreement with our local Target to take some of their unsold merch off their hands, so there is always a small section of brand new goods in the store. Including this device which had a long and complicated name only Scott can remember, but which we referred to as “The Grab ‘n Grab.” Here’s Scott Grab ‘n Grabbing me.

I was of course saying, “Hey Scott! Stop ‘n Stop!”

As it happens often, pictures are donated to thrift stores with the original family photos still in them.  When Angela held this up Scott said, “I have been looking all over for a picture of that lady!”

We found this. I think that’s all I have to say on the matter.

We decided this shirt must be business casual for Hooters.

"Just looking for honey LOL"

I got the distinct feeling I was being watched while thrifting.

What I love about this 80s mug is that someone waited all this time, for maybe thirty years, before they decided it was time to let go. Which I can understand. This mug looks like Max Headroom himself wished you a Happy Birthday.

"I think the baby jesus is faaaaaabulous!"

This is the sassiest camel sculpture ever. I can only imagine awesome nativity scene this came from. Most fashionable holy family ever.

"That's the last time I drink Leprechaun Car Bombs."

I don’t know about you, but count me out of the sort of hangover that makes you lose an eye.

Stef found some pretty epic Jazzercise and fauxzzercise records. The 80s was a weird time. A time when you worked out to albums.

Look at this sweet dinosaur tuxedo vest. It was toddler-sized. If only I had a son!

Donated by The Most Interesting Toddler In The World.

The photo below is notable for two reasons: one, it’s like whomever made the horse decided it had two butts and attached the hair accordingly, and two, damn, that is probably the second best photobomb of all time. Good work, manic pumpkin!

(The best photobomb of all time, of course, is found here.)

"I don't have a shirt awesome enough to wear with these pants."

These pants had lobsters embroidered all over them. Lobsters. As everyone knows, lobsters never go out of style. You can wear them past labor day even though they are white because they have lobsters on them, and the Queen herself would approve. Which Queen, you ask? Any queen. Ever. Anywhere. Because, you guys, lobster pants.

Oh, I should mention that while thrifting we found this book, which pretty much proves time travel exists. It talked about how everyone rides in rockets and how we all enjoy space travel. Clearly, a time-traveling Sam Clemens was reading it when he accidentally left it on a bus somewhere. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Art Bell about this but it’s really hard to talk on the phone while wearing my tinfoil hat.

"Yay, Armegeddon!"

Stef found this book especially for Jake. I think she secretly regrets not buying it for herself.

"Just ate all the sugarplum fairies LOL"

And I’m ending this trip with something straight out of  music’s newest sensation: Tchaikovsky’s The Zombie Nutcracker Suite. Merry Early Zombie Christmas!

Amusing Thrift Store Finds

2 Jun

This last Mother’s Day was pretty crappy. It’s only my third one so far, and I can’t even remember what I did last year. I’m sure it was fun whatever it was, but not as fun as my first Mother’s Day when Anthony took me to a local lavender farm for a picnic. Isobel slept and ate and relaxed comfortably in her sling while we wandered row upon row of fragrant flowers. It was wonderful. Compare that to this year when I locked us out of our car and Isobel threw an epic tantrum in a restaurant, and the winner is obvious. More lavender, please!

Not that this Mother’s Day was a wash. I was still pretty sick, but we did manage to go by a thrift store and take Isobel to a park. Both good things. Later on, I napped. Bliss.

Look at that smile! This was pre-restaurant meltdown. You’d never know it, but an hour later she erupted like Mount Vesuvius. If Mount Vesuvius was two and a half feet tall and wearing diapers.

We had no idea what we were in for.

But before the meltdowns and car drama we went thrifting, and if you notice the Little Big Thrifting Pyramid at the top of this post, you’ll know my eventual point is to show you some Amusing Thrift Store Finds. Go here, here, and here for previous finds.

First up are two silvery pieces of fruit. They look like paperweights. Just try giving this “What A Pear!” paperweight to your boss or coworker and see how quickly the sexual harassment suits roll in.

This kitten statue is not only disturbing, but it looks like it came straight out of  “Kittens! Inspired by Kittens!”

This piggy bank is just for our friend Stef, who packed up her cats, her piano, and her bearded husband and moved out of state to teach at the University of Reno while enrolled in their PhD program. Reno is kind of a sad little (big) town, so this I HEART RENO piggy bank is weirdly depressing. Save your coins so you can gamble away your savings at the CVS slot machines!

Stefanie, this is how I feel when I look at you. You’re welcome.

Next we have “Country Deodorant.”

No comment.

I can’t imagine any positive use for an I HEART COWS wagon.

Of course Isobel found the Furby. OF COURSE SHE DID. Nevermind that it was located in with the dishes and candles. She would zero in on the demonic furry creature amongst all the harmless candles and plates and knickknacks. The worst part about the Furby is that once she touched it, it started talking in Furbish to her. Which mesmerized her in a way that books about alien abduction fascinated me as a child. Unhealthily.

What’s worse is that after she set the Furby down and move on to something else, it would wait about a minute or so before that Furbish voice would say something, thereby causing her to abandon her new interest and securing her attention, starting the Loop of Demonic Fascination all over again. Just when we thought we were free, its Furbish voice called us back again.

If you come across a Furby while thrifting, don’t touch it, don’t look it in the eye, and definitely do not say its name three times in a darkened room.

TMI, DUDE.