Tag Archives: Owls

Follow Friday – Owl Apron

2 Dec

Last weekend some friends and I visited a craft fair and I splurged at bit (thank you, Etsy shop!) and bought a lovely green cowl and this child-sized owl apron for Isobel. I’ve been looking for an apron for her for a long time, and Isobel loves it. She likes to wear it around the house while carrying her various treasures around in the front pouch. Here she is helping me clean the kitchen. Such a good helper!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

jeff_ratfamily Even though no music is playing I’m doing my Mighty Mighty Bosstones dance in front of everyone & I invite you to do the same.

preschoolgems “I’m thankful for science, and mommy and daddy.”

TNG_S8 Picard is trapped inside a sentient turbolift. A clip show highlights the most memorable “Picard is trapped on a turbolift” moments.

rachel_nk my family’s review of pumpkin spice seltzer: it tastes like a yankee candle.

ProfessorSnack It appears that a cock ring isn’t part of the turkey preparation.

thejohnblog This turkey is making me sleepy. Seriously, he keeps going on and on about his shortcuts when he commutes to work.

girlwithatail My neighbors are outside nailing a turkey to a cross. They’re new to this country.

julieklausner Smurves.

steenyweeny instead of praying before you eat yell FINISH HIM and i promise your food will taste better every single goddamn time.

NASeason Remember when 4am was the time you came home, and not the time your baby made you get up for the day? Me neither.

heliumcell Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE!!! WooHoo!!! Happiness! Camaraderie! Thanking!!! YELLING!!! #PILLS #CAPSLOCK

MrWordsWorth The Macy’s Parade is an hour of entertainment stretched out over three hours.

YourAuntDiane Hard to keep the dozens of turkeys hiding from the Turkey Holocaust in the attic quiet. And none are writing in the diary I gave them.

louisck Happy Thanksgiving to all my followers who aren’t murderers. I wonder how many murderers follow me. Aw happy Tday to them too.

theleanover It’s weird how UC Davis added a question to their application asking how allergic you are to capsaicin and riot batons.

helgagrace Was just taken by a strong urge to clean all the things in the kitchen, but I managed to snap out of it!

TNG_S8 A virus that accesses genetic memory transforms Troi into a primeval warrior. Technically, Wesley still lives with his mom.

tehawesome Just had to stop myself from shouting “Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with!” upon winning a free game in Lord of the Rings pinball.

steenyweeny does gravy ice cream cake count as dessert or an entree for this pot luck?

jess_mc You will have to pry this pie from my cold fat hands.

delrayser It’s like that Walking Dead scene of zombies devouring a horse, but replace the zombies w/Wal-Mart shoppers & the horse w/$2 waffle irons.

mommywantsvodka I wonder if Siri knows where my pants are.

BridgetCallahan Fact: On Black Friday 1997, thousands of people were murdered in their sleep by Tickle Me Elmo. #BlackFriday

batemanimation I’m at Starbucks this Black Friday. People are trampling each other to get an Everything With Cheese Bagel. Oh, the bagelity.

AntDeRosa Everybody relax, they’re putting together a Superdupercommittee

notthatkendall “If being married doesn’t mean I can make you watch Home Alone repeatedly then I don’t understand what we’re doing here”

Alena29 I just uploaded a photo on FB that shows what it look like when you’re carrying an actual baby and a food baby…at the same time.

tehawesome That first trip to the bathroom after Thanksgiving is like a religious experience. And by that I mean an exorcism.

pourmecoffee Got some incredibly cheap bundled mortgages at the Goldman Sachs doorbuster sale.

wordlust Mmm…turgluten.

tehawesome The secret behind my mom’s excellent Thanksgiving butter is that she adds just a hint of mashed potatoes.

MeganBoley Thankful for a growing family and elastic pants.

MrsFridayNext Twitter, if I said just how thankful I am for you, people who don’t use twitter would look at me REAL funny. They don’t understand our love.

FarrenSquare What is Cyber Monday? Guilt-free-cyber-sex Day, I assume.

johnmoe The Kiss Army seemed too heavy so I signed up for the Kiss National Guard. I like them one weekend a month.

himissjulie Under my breath, as I try to figure out how to staple a booklet for a child: “I have master’s degree…I have a master’s degree…!”

mat Poopin’

hereslizz When helping my girl play dress up I need to teach her the fine line between well accessorized and bag lady.

crunchyvtmommy I always look on the bright side but damnit I wanted to buy that creepy elf and terrorize my husband.

bebehblog We got our Christmas tree! Hunted & killed it ourselves, like good Americans.

SwEtMrciflCrap Me to FIL: “I got Uncle Joe a Fidora”
“Dora, who’s Dora?”
“No, a hat-I got Uncle Joe a hat.”
“He’s allergic to cats!”
Tonight should be fun.

stegasp I have yet another Thanksgiving dinner with family today. If anyone needs me I will have retreated to a dark corner of my brain.

badbanana You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving weekend when your watch doesn’t fit anymore.

HeathRobots Either my belly button is bleeding, or I really let things get out of control with the cranberry sauce.

wordsinmymouth And just introduced my dad to honey badger. It was a magical father/daughter moment.

mylifeasadad Completing the Star Wars trilogy tonight with the kids. Trying to convince Des that Ewoks are not doggies.

MrWordsWorth This is the time of year when I start to question some of the endorsement deals Santa made.

timcarvell I wish Etsy were a physical store, just so I could see people punching each other on Black Friday over crocheted Ramones shirts for birds.

Angel__Bee “ran out of pants” is not a phrase I like to hear from Allie’s teachers upon picking her up from daycare.

ramisalame If Snoop Dogg told me his hobby was sculpting, I’d be like “Fo’ chisel?” and we’d high-five and laugh endlessly.

ecsuperhero My coworkers just acted appalled at me eating cookie dough straight from the tub. I thought they knew me.

InfiniteChicken I’m always getting the Wayans and the Mayans confused; which ones did the blood sacrifices?

theleanover I gave up on aphorisms; now I write affordisms. This one is only 10 cents if you act now.

EugeniaMorpho Most people are embarassed by the porn in their browser history. I am embarassed by google seaches like “lyrics Paula Abdul Rush Rush”.

InfiniteChicken @theleanover Lucky. I’ve only had sloppy, random sex in an art gallery bathroom. (Thomas Kinkade retrospective—hard to NOT get horny.)

FakePewResearch People talking to themselves on the bus this morning: 35% Have a phone; 62% Don’t have a phone; 3% Undecided.

SteveHuff A dude with a steam shovel for a hand is destroying my neighbor’s car. #CyborgMonday

cbnickras Googling “record store cat” yields a hit for “Records Store Cat Jobs” at simplyhired. Yes, I will take that job please.

muffpunch The phones are down at work. It’s a Cyber Monday miracle!

smileydooby Ever have one of those days where you think maybe those really WERE the droids you were looking for?

muffpunch Waiting for my boyfriend to log on to AIM for Cyber Monday.

stray Dear world: stop using the prefix “cyber” until we actually have Internet-enabled brain implants (a la “Ghost in the Shell”).

joeinverarity GET BABY JESUS OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR! — me, right now.

mikeleffingwell If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around… free tree!!!

louisvirtel Yes, I have weak gay limbs, but please don’t mock my Masculine Dystrophy.

wordlust I see Paris, I see France… Man, this LSD is top-notch.

johnmoe “Potatoes, I suppose.” #FirstDraftStateMottoes

MmeSurly Me: What sort of books are you gonna get at the library?
Henry: BOY books. Me: What are those about? Henry: Girls.

johnmoe I honestly didn’t expect Twitter to last this long. It’s like Kajagoogoo coming out with their 20th album and it’s actually pretty good.

MrWordsWorth Got out the boxes of Christmas decorations. There is no going back now.

theleanover Nude Gingrich. #NailedIt

chickenscottpie Homework from my piano teacher: “Get drunk tomorrow night and practice this.”

MassageByTed In light of the evidence, I’m forced to conclude that, at some point, my testicles were much, much larger than they are now.

jberthume I am more angry about my Doritos Double XP Call of Duty code having already been used than a grown man ought to be, I suppose.

Patheticist Sometimes I feel below average then I click on a trending topic and ALAKAZAM! I’m a comparative genius.

Patheticist Radio Shack is the most literal name of any store.

mikeleffingwell No one ever talks about what an asshole Toddler Jesus was.

slackmistress Can I call in fat to work? Asking for myself.

LovesOfLife Maybe, just maybe that 9pm coffee was a bad idea.

JRehling If you’re planning your Christmas shopping, I’d like some new golf clubs and total power over the dead.

paulverhoeven The movie ‘The Ring’ should be renamed ‘Renember that one time, when I hugged that corpse in a disused well for nothing?’.

MariaMelee My effing PMS is like something out of Neverending Story. ARTAAAAXXXXXXXXXX.

cryanathus It’s the best thing ever when your farts sound like you are unzipping a suitcase.

cryanathus My patronus is a honey badger.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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Shushing, Etc

1 Feb

The life of a librarian isn’t always glamorous. It’s not all slowly taking off glasses and shaking my hair free of its conservative bun. There’s more to it than inspiring a love of reading and helping students work on projects. There’s also the thrill and excitement of fielding call after motherfucking call of people looking for the IT guy. Though no fault of the IT guy’s own (he’s super awesome), people think that because we work in the same room, I must have his schedule memorized and beyond that, I must actually tell him what to do, prioritizing tasks based on how loudly a person just yelled at me. Keep in mind, we have different offices and unique phone extensions. But I can’t make it to 9 am without fielding six or seven calls asking if Carlos is there and wondering if I could perhaps fix their computer issue for them. Sorry. I can’t. I’m kept too busy with wearing sensible shoes and shushing.

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Isobel is kind of OCD when it comes to dirt. Rather, she really enjoys finding any speck of dirt on the floor that she can and immediately screams EW YUCKY DIRT DIRTY DIRT EW EW MESSY! Although I still find it amusing the 100th time as I did the first time, the fact that I have a toddler constantly on the lookout for dirt on the floors isn’t helping me feel accomplished. Between the kid and the cat and the leaves tracked in and out every time someone comes and goes… let’s just say there’s no shortage of crumbs or pieces of grass or shredded bits of couch for her to flip out over. I appreciate the sentiment, honey. But we’re just going to have to leave some of that dirt there for now.

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Isobel is not fond of changing into her pajamas so I made a Big Deal one night of telling her she was going to wear her Owl Jammies. She has a marked affection for owls for some reason, and one set of her pajamas features a litle applique owl. Now every time it’s time to change into pajamas she starts shouting OWL JAMMIES! OOOOOWL! JAAAAMIES! HOOOOO! HOOOOO! Which is great, except that we have the one pair so she’s rewareded for her efforts about every third day. Basically I feel this proves something integral about parenting: sometimes the solutions you find lead to new, and even more inventive problems. Parenting is evolution at its most exhausting.

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I’ve had several million coworkers have asked me when we’re going to have another baby. As if they were waiting for us to just reach into the ether and pull one out. I respond by tossing out a vague, “We’ll see,” or “eventually” because I suspect people would not be happy if I told them that I’m waiting until I can train Isobel to feed our cats without breaking things or dumping cat food all over the floor. You see when I was pregnant with Isobel, my sister moved in with us. When I became too huge to bend down or squat, it was her job to feed the cats. I realized that until I have a replacement cat feeder that doesn’t leave for business trips (sorry, husband) I can’t think of having another. Isobel trains every day, though, and is making great strides in her technique. I just hope my vintage milk-glass bowls survive.