Tag Archives: Pets

Flip Book: Zorro Hug

17 Aug

Follow Friday – Jupey’s Harem

12 Aug

"O hai I'm Jupey."

That handsome fella in the photo above is Jupiter, whom you may remember from such posts as  “My Cat is a Magician and Shapeshifter.” One day he lost his collar and instead came home with the collar he had previous lost over six months ago. He has brought me more injured animals and headless lizards than I ever would have thought possible, but his tastes have shifted recently. After the slightly paranormal collar incident, he brought home a small blue dream catcher. Odd. Very odd indeed. Till a few days later, when I saw him pop over the fence with something else in his mouth. Something so large he was in fact having a hard time getting it over the fence. Oh god, I thought to myself, what could it be this time?

Turns out, it was a Barbie doll. The first day he just brought the one over, but after that he started bringing more and more. He’d bring them home just as fast as I’d keep chucking them back over the fence. We now get shipments of three or four Barbies a day. I’ve already explained to the neighbor family what is going on, and thank goodness they love Jupey or I’d have to lock him up inside again. And no one wants that. Trust me.

With the exception of the lavender doll (Isobel’s favorite) he brings us exclusively brunette dolls. My cat has a type. And a naked lady fetish.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

danforthfrance I’ve got no food in the house, so when I feel hungry I just give the cat a treat. Karma, your move.

trelvix I don’t think we can go after the Newsweek Sarah Bachmann photo as sexist unless we’re talking about what it did to my frightened ball sack.

heyitsurban Is it too late to return the Louisiana Purchase? We must still have the receipt. #BudgetAmerica

LIFECOACHERS Go forth into the world tomorrow bearing the bright light of inspiration and some artfully concealed sharp-edged weapon.

koalohauke Me: Hi, nice to see you. Gym: Do I know you…?

apodixis Ball gags make great cat toys!

sgnp I completely forgot that earlier today I saw a Honda Odyssey with blue truck nuts. I know there are more important things, but still.

malkatz I had no clue it’s Women’s Day, but that makes my gynecologist appointment later today much more meaningful.

mat The best thing about being a guy in your late 30s is discovering all the cool new places you can grow hair.

NicLewis I was worried the beautiful people in this show wouldn’t find love again. That was a tense 15 seconds.

thegrumbles Klout believes I am influential about yogurt. They’re not wrong.

Booktown_ninja No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

MeganBoley I assume I should stick to classic frosty. #livetweetingwendys #myliiiiiiifffe

jess_mc If Tim Pawlenty were AT ALL like Sarah Palin, people would have noticed him standing there by now.

milkglassheart Just mortified myself remembering how I sang The Owl & The Pussycat like a lounge singer when I was little.

WordShore Made the mistake of turning on the news. Not doing that again for a while. Back to reading about food on a stick. #IowaStateFair

rydka Shitlists. They happen.

"Is this better or worse than the dead parrot I brought you?"

wigu Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? & why are the birds vultures? And why do you smell faintly of death?

That_Biz Just put a couple cows worth of cheese in this macaroni and cheese. If that doesn’t help my mood then nothing will.

goodinthestacks Despite the hilarity that may have ensued, I corrected “plague” to “plaque” in a memo written by my boss.

PolyesterPony Having one men’s room at the office means I know way more about my coworkers digestive habits than anyone should be forced to know.

massagebyted #FF Patrick Stewart saying “Beverly” in a stern voice.

rstevens Honk if you have been bitten by a were-automobile and no longer have any other method of communicating.

BridgetCallahan I refuse to let my mother end up standing in the middle of the woods on her farm calling” BJ!” into the twilight.

SpaghettiJesus I bet Glenn Beck is just masturbating in a pile of Gold and MREs right now.

wheelfreed According to my gym, an Elton John slow song really energizes. Nothing like an explosive squat or bench press to “Candle in the Wind.”

stray I’d like to thank my credit card company for texting me at 3:13 this morning to let me know they’d processed my payment. Thanks, assholes.

theleanover Hard times down at the Viagra factory.

jillgengler So if your first two kids are named Brooklyn and London, do you have any choice *but* to name baby #3 Paris? #notrhetorical

ericsiry To give you some insight as to what an amazing athlete I am, last night I pulled a calf muscle in my sleep.

alyankovic My 8-year-old daughter totally fell asleep at the table during dinner last night. That girl can NOT hold her alcohol.

raymitheminx Can you be a mommy blogger if your baby is all food?

MrWordsWorth In this Final Destination film, Death dies.

SarahIvy Home alone tonight….that means wine and jalapeno popper dip and fritos. Aw yeah.

My cat has a naked lady fetish. Also he prefers brunettes.

sarcasmically @_Biscuit_ you’re like Chuck Norris. You don’t catch the fish; they’re so terrified that they jump into the boat seeking the solace of death.

Athenabee It seems as though the neighbor standing in our driveway is the worst thing that’s ever happened to my dog.

PlumeriaSprite Ad campaign to convince public to accept water reclamation project: “Toilet to Tap”. That marketing director will never be hired again.

kellyloveszoey Zoey is putting her face down in her food and eating it like a dog and laughing, soooo… My work is done.

wolfwalking I wish I had a nail elf to paint my right hand for me. He would follow me around & live off tea, honey & brownies& also apply false lashes.

johnmoe This is gonna suck when the US goes to the dealer to buy that sweet pickup it had its eye on.

birbigs I hope this is cool but I put down all my twitter followers as my “emergency contact” at the hospital.

theRratedBull I admire DJ’s. Not just for their talent and skill but also for their ability to play some of the bullshit people request.

ericsiry Next time you stop to smell the roses, remember that flowers are a plant’s genitals, and that you’re gross.

sgnp I expect that when I’m old and not so mobile, my daughter is going to tickle me like crazy. I will feebly slap her with my robot arms.

sbellelauren don’t worry if you don’t have good credit it’s patriotic now

apelad My investment portfolio is a stack of old X-Men comics and an earring I found that might be a diamond.

DaveHolmes That “OBAMA’S HIP-HOP BBQ DOESN’T CREATE JOBS” Fox headline took jobs away from people who write parodies of Fox headlines.

Greeblemonkey Overheard at @sandiegozoo, from a 5yo-looking girl: “The best pooper here, elephants. Best peeer, tooooootally the orangutans.”

alecmuffett #Defcon very romantic. Many couples walking around. Some of them are actually married. Some portion of those, to each other.

"I have Stockholm Syndrome."

raamatuid Nancy Drow – A young darkelf detective solves mysteries in the Underdark #bookswithaletterchanged

BtotheD Trying to put together a senior citizen super band called Baby Got Back Problems, which is easier said than done.

jszyd I am so hungry, my stomach is making noises as if I just ate Taco Bell.

NicLewis Rome is ablaze. As its citizens run from the flames in terror, Emperor Nero frantically washes his toga. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

theleanover Apes touch a large, black monolith. They learn shame, then learn to weave leaves into clothes, begin to do laundry. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

Kouban Enterprise engine room. Bottle of Tide manifests within warp core. Geordi removes VISOR, sheds a single tear. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

InfiniteChicken Clergy, Leaders of Man behold bottle of Tide, destroy their machines & fall prostrate before their new God. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

mocoddle Dexter. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

InfiniteChicken Children frolic and make sand castles on the beach. Camera pans left, a box of Tide is there. Cue Coldplay song. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

InfiniteChicken Split screen of Tide with ‘Other Detergent;’ Tide has a much larger penis #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

DaisyJDog If you’re looking for me at DogHer I am skipping it this year to spend more time with my food. #DogHer11

deathoftheparty In order to avoid people you can’t stand, you now have to get OFF the computer and retreat to life.

lovegrrbottle turns out it’s not the best idea to put sex toys in a box marked “games” and open it up for the first time when you have company over.

Jesus_M_Christ I watched the Jersey Shore tonight. p.s. Jesus wept.

ThisBowers Double dip recession sounds both disturbing and delicious.

LouisPeitzman I’m not saying I had a rough childhood, but I didn’t learn about microwaving Pop Tarts until college.

johnmoe It’s good that the world’s greatest basketball player had a cool name like Michael Jordan and not Barfington McGillicuddy.


benmarvin Internet Explorer is only good for 3 things:1) Downloading Chrome 2) Downloading FireFox 3) Testing your new malware deployment

apodixis In the end, @favstar isn’t just a website, it’s an ideal we hold in our hearts. Although it’s also a website that has been down all morning.

brianericford I decree that the Google/Apple/Microsoft mobile patent scheming shall henceforth be known as: “Game of Phones”

theleanover No one’s too dumb to be on Twitter! #TwitterMoneymakingSlogans

Zaius13 I’m not embarrassed that everyone saw me picking my nose during the meeting, but I do kind of regret making it the core of my presentation.

TheNextMartha Last night I was told by security to try and “keep it down.” I think my job here is done.

shinyinfo Volunteer heard we give a long rendition of “Backstreet’s Back” when I thought she was out of the room. Kill myself now or later??

hot_spunk I saw a dude pour sugar into a 44 ounce soda at 7-11. America is doomed.

altgeldshrugged Microsoft Word recognizes the typed word “Kardashian.” It’s official; the terrorists have won.

damana If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.

BridgetCallahan Smart thinking and awesome thinking are not always the same thing.

walkingborder I just found a random slim jim on my desk under some papers. I didn’t know it was my birthday!

nataliebinder OK, so there’s an all-male Lady Gaga tribute band called Rad Bromance.

shariv67 “Betty Crocker rocks out with her crock out.” That one’s a freebie, General Mills. Hit me up.

JillMorris 4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.

"Mo-om, Jupey caught a dream."

LaurenGberg Sending my hopes & dreams to a farm upstate where they’ll be free to play all day long with other hopes & dreams.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Scrapbook: Blankets

16 Jul

Remember the cloth cleaning rags? Isobel is good at finding alternate uses for them.

Scrapbook: The Necklaces

9 Jul

Unfortunately for Zorro, it was time to play dress up.

Farewell Sweet Peach

21 Jun

This last weekend Peaches took a turn for the worse. After we received his diagnosis we set up a space for him in our bedroom with water, fancy soft cat food, and a small litterbox. He loved the special treatment and seemed to improve. I had hoped the cancer would be slower-moving, but it was always our intention to take him in as soon as his quality of life deteriorated. On Sunday it was obvious he was no longer comfortable so today we made plans to take him in the vet one last time.

Once we set up shop for Peaches in our bedroom he was content. He didn’t leave the room and only got up to drink, eat, or use the litterbox. He purred a lot and was very affectionate.

Last night I woke up at about three a.m. to the sound of Peaches struggling to get up on the bed. He was having difficulty walking yet he insisted on making the effort to get on the bed and snuggle with us.

The sweet round curves of his face were gone. He had lost so much weight he resembled only an angular Siamese and lost much of the bulk that really made him look Manx.

He purred. And purred.

On another day I will tell you hilarious stories about Peach. He was a funny, funny cat with a lovable personality and very distinct likes and dislikes.

On another day though. Right now I’m too sad.

Sweet Peachie Boy

9 Jun

As those of you who follow me on Twitter already know, my sweet, lovable cat Peaches is ill. He has a massive tumor on his spleen. He is dying.

Let me back up a bit. There has been some major changes for Peaches in our household. First of all, Tinkerbell, his lifelong companion, passed away recently. Shortly after that, we traumatized poor Peachie by taking him to a shot clinic for his vaccine updates. And most life-changingly of all for Peach, we adopted two new kittens into our home.

Any of those changes could be enough to stress a cat. Oftentimes cats react to stress by eating less. I didn’t really notice a change in Peaches’ eating habits, but I did notice him getting skinnier. Slowly at first, he thinned out. Since I still saw him eating I attributed it to stress. But in the back of my mind, a seed of fear sprouted. With each vertebrae that became more pronounced on Peaches’ back, it grew.

Finally, I decided it warranted a trip to the vet. We don’t make those trips lightly as they are so expensive. But I convinced myself Peaches had picked up a worm somehow from one of the kittens. That would explain why he would get skinnier even as I saw him eat.

I made the appointment for Monday afternoon. The fear ate away at me all weekend.

The doctor confirmed what my intuition had been screaming at me for days: Peaches is sick and he’s not getting better. He has a couple months at most before he deteriorates.

I feel very, very lucky that we have a few weeks’ reprieve before we have to take him in. I feel even luckier that he is not in pain.

I love all my cats but Tinky and Peaches were special. They were my cats when I was a kid. I grew up with them. They slept on my bed as a child when I lived at my parents’ house. When I got married and moved into a one-bedroom apartment, they came with me and stayed with us when we purchased our house.

There is something special about loving a childhood pet. Children love fiercely, intensely, and they love without inhibition. They love their pets in a way that we can’t, as adults, duplicate. We love deeply also, of course, but it’s different.

To lose a childhood pet is to lose part of your childhood.

I’m going to miss you, Peaches.

Kitten Highlights

17 May

Life with kittens has added another layer of chaos to our lives, albeit a joyous one. Poppy and Jupiter are like ninjas testing the various weaknesses of our household system. I would have thought that after having three naughty cats and then an inexhaustible toddler we would have cat or baby proofed everything that wasn’t nailed down. My recent need to purge all clutter from the house coincided directly with my pregnancy and intensified with Isobel’s mobility. You could say it was a source of perverse pride for me. Let your toddler loose in my house! I dare them to find something to break!


Poppy and Jupiter have been quite creative in finding things to get into and mess up. Poppy’s favorite game is to launch herself into the air and to grasp the clothes hanging in my closet and freestyle climb her way to the other side. In order to jump down and do it all over again, of course. I discovered this little trick after finding a third of my neatly-hung shirts discarded in a wad on the floor.

Zorro and Peaches are nutso for kitten food, and I hardly blame them. I’m sure it’s nutrient-rich and packed with fat to provide energy for running through the house at top speed. Zorro and Peach normally dine on Science Diet Senior-Formula Indoor Cat Food, which sounds so fiber-filled and wholesome it’s probably the Grape Nuts of cat food. Their new goal in life is kitten food. It’s their Holy Grail.

Feeding the cats is now a complicated maneuver: somehow we have to corral both kittens in the same room at the same time while preventing both the big cats and Isobel from getting in. It’s difficult to say the least. Peaches is not known for his brains, but I tell you I have never met a cat more motivated by food and there isn’t anything in the world that will keep him from a snack he wants. It makes the mornings interesting, that’s for sure.

Isobel really enjoys gnawing corn straight off the cob and we discovered recently that the kittens do, too. As soon as Isobel gives up her ear of corn those kittens are all over it, munching side by side like pigs at a trough.

The first night we brought the kittens home Poppy started running down the hallway and mewing in obvious distress. We thought it was perhaps because she was alone so each time it happened I went down the hall and brought her back to the living room. Finally I thought she might need the litter box which was in the laundry room. I plunked her in and she immediately let out the most plaintive mew and started pooping. As soon as she was done I swear she marched back into the living room beaming with pride.

We learned the hard way about the sort of mischief that is possible when a kitten and a baby work together. Isobel has a fascination with anything liquid, and if she can spill that liquid everywhere, so much the better. When she’s done eating she regularly likes to turn her bottle upside down and shake it as vigorously as possible. Fortunately that doesn’t do anything except spray a few drops here or there so by the time we stop it little damage has been done. Jupiter, however, is as crazy for Isobel’s bottles as he is for kitten chow and we have discovered that if they are left out he will gnaw the nipple right off. Isobel waits until he has done so and then tips the bottle upside down, much to both our baby’s and the kitten’s delight.

I’m sensing a dangerous partnership here.

Here they are!

10 May

Here they are! My adorable new fluffmiesters the kittens.

We picked up our new babies on Sunday (we were pretty busy this weekend and needed to recover after the vaccination clinic ordeal) so the kittens were actually a nice Mother’s Day present for me. One that I didn’t get to really enjoy. Hence the busyness.

We had an unexpected visit from family plus a big dinner planned and all happy-kitten-frolicking happened while we were gone. (Waaah!) I hope to make up for this with extra-frolic time later.

So far the kittens have gotten along okay with Zorro and Peaches. Peach is less welcoming. There have been a few tense moments but overall no vocalized aggression and few smacks to the head. Which is fortunate because Peach is like ten times their size and Zorro is like twenty. I imagine the size comparison would be something like us next to a killer whale and hoping it is not pissed that I’m swimming in its tank and eating its fish.

Poppy and Jupiter are overwhelmingly adorable. Poppy has a spritely, zippy personality and she hardly ever sits still. She woke us up mewing for her breakfast this morning and has made herself quite at home. Jupiter is mellower and more laid back. In a way they each mirror the big cats: Poppy is active like Zorro and Jupe is calm like Peach. It’s a perfect combination. I can imagine Poppy and Zorro going nuts together in the near future. I can also imagine Peach turning into a crotchety old man.

Something I have always wanted was cats that snuggle together. Our cats have always been strays that have had comfortable truces at best. Zorro will groom Peaches but this inevitably leads to a smack-down. I’m hopping that Poppy and Jupiter will snuggle and groom each other and actually show affecting. Not counting on it, but hoping.

Isobel adores the kittens and is fascinated by their food bowls. This morning I found her with one hand knuckle-deep in the kitten food and the other totally immersed in the cat’s water. As I pulled her out of there she frantically made her baby sign for “MORE! MORE! MORE!” I sometimes wish she was less cute while she is naughty.

Kind of like the kittens.

Clinic Duty

10 May

Taking the cats to the shot clinic this weekend really reminded me why I should never leave the house with my pets. It was as stressful and frustrating as I thought it would be. I honestly don’t know how Gigi has managed to move across Europe with Pablo and Tobias.

The easiest part of the day was dropping Isobel off at my bestie’s on our way to the clinic. She obviously had a great time there and didn’t miss us at all. She even felt at home enough to tell their cats “NO!” repeatedly. She’s thoughtful like that.

My mom literally saved us by letting us borrow the cage-type carriers she uses for her trap-neuter-return program. The last thing I wanted to worry about was Peaches eating his way out of the carrier again and running amok at the clinic. The first time was bad enough.

And I had never put Zorro in a cardboard cat carrier and I was not at all sure it’d be up to snuff for lugging his 25lb-carcass around. I can just picture the bottom collasping and orange cat going everywhere. Zorro was pretty cramped in the cage carrier, and we had to hold it from the bottom or the handle would break, but we did it.

As soon as we put them in the car Zorro started howling. Not his typical tiny-cat meow, either. Full-on, top-volume mrowling. I waited in the car with them while Anthony stood in line and Zorro kept it up the entire hour.

Peach however, remained pretty calm, but clearly trying to escape from the cage, testing the bars and scratching at the corners. He’s been to the vet and the shot clinic many times, plus one time our neighbor took him to the pound, so he’s been on lockdown before. He probably has PTSD.

When Anthony gets near the front of the line we get the cats and wait to see the vet. She is quite astonished by Zorro’s size and he takes the two vaccines calmly. We do Peach next and when the vet sees him she remarks, “Oh! You have a little one, too!” Now, I wouldn’t call an 18lb Manx little, but after seeing Zorro your perspective tends to be a bit skewed.  Zorro took his shots with no complaints but as soon as Peaches is out of the box he starts yowling and fighting back. It’s all the vet and I can to do hold him down. Finally, we are done. We pack up the cats and head home.

Zorro seems eternally grateful to be back and Peaches seems laid back but is actually quietly biding his time. Turns out he had a plan: later that day Mr. Peach takes his revenge and urinates on my side of the bed.