Tag Archives: Things I’m Not Over

You are a Moutardier

1 Nov

Do you know how long I’ve been looking for a cute vintage soap dispenser? For the last five years of my life. No, longer. Since we moved into this house. Seven years? Can you even imagine how many times I’ve gone thrifting in the last seven years? As many times as there are grains of sand on the beach, stars in the sky, mutated forms of the herpes virus in Paris Hilton. Finally, a couple weeks ago, I find this little number. I may have cried a little.

It is perfection! Milkglass! And yellow! With a goddamn mushroom on it! It was waiting on the shelf for me to find it. At two dollars it was getting pretty close to my flinch point. But it was worth it for how long I’ve waited.

I washed it and filled it with soap as soon as we got home, tossing the plastic bottle from the store in the recycling bin. I tried it giddily, pumping pumping pumping. Nothing. Pumping pumping pumping. Nada.

The pump doesn’t work. It tried fixing it, but short of replacing the pump, it’s broken. Along with my hopes and dreams. Why you gotta play me like that, Goodwill?