Tag Archives: Toddlers

Scrapbook: Weekend

22 Jan

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Scrapbook: Christmas Highlights

1 Jan

I’m not going to make you guys suffer through another long Christmas post (like I did last year). I’m sure your’ readers are chalk full of them, anyway. If you want the whole Christmas story, feel free to go here. These photos are just the highlights of our holiday celebration, made unfortunately short by the sharing of a family cold virus. Merry Christmas to all of us! Peace and joy to the world! Now let’s all huddle under a nest of blankets on the couch and play Mass Effect till our eyes fall out.

Follow Friday: Cousin Photos

30 Dec

Last summer my cousin gave me a green, Christmas-themed shirt her daughter Victoria had outgrown. “Save it for Christmas,” she said, “and we can take photos of the kids in their Christmas shirts.” I thought this was a great idea, so I folded it up and tucked it away in a safe place with enthusiasm. Fast forward six months later, and that shirt is nowhere to be found.

“Liz,” I had to say, “I’m sorry, but I think I’ve turned into my mother.”

The cousin photos are adorable even without matching shirts, though my cousin made a huge faux pas when she tried to take Isobel’s purse out of the picture. ONE DOES NOT MESS WITH THE PINK PURSE OR ONE WILL BE SORRY. Also, check out that sweet goat Baby’s Sam’s holding. I’m pretty proud of it, as I am proud of the last photo in this series. I think I’ve found my calling: Awkward Unposed Children’s Photos.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

hollyburnsAll the dates I’m writing in my new 2012 planner are for season premieres of TV shows.

mommywantsvodka I cannot seem to come up with any decent resolutions for the New Year, so instead I will resolve not to become Lil Wayne.

NicLewis I think I’m a reverse hipster. Whatever the musical group you’re talking about, I’ve probably never heard of it.

theRratedBull That caller I just transferred is so lucky! They get to hear “Endless Love” in its entirety without going to an 1980’s wedding.

justaboutagirl The mom of those Invisalign Teen girls CLEARLY has a favorite child.

SteveMartinToGo My holiday twitter hours: Open all day and night. Except Wodensday, of course. Too busy worshiping Woden. Don’t care about Thorsday.

JVdesigns @exlibris I envy not only that you met Anthony Bourdain, but that you have it on a list with goats.

LouisPeitzman Are there charities to raise money for celebs like Ashton Kutcher and Kelly Clarkson who can’t afford access to Google?

Y_U_NOOO TWITTER FRIENDS, Y U LIVE SO FAR AWAY? Y U NO LIVE NEXT DOOR?

milonguera I’m drinking sangria for dinner. Because an hour ago I ate 70 more pounds of Chex Mix.

wordlust Two things I need to say more often are “I’m sorry” and “Choo-choo!”

palinode My review of Mission Impossible IV is that I stayed home and watched Tree of Life.

LaurelKS I’ve missed #oversharewednesday for months and I invented it. Don’t feel bad if you forget.

RideOrDiePudge You guys who habitually change your avatars have given me a chilling sneak peak into living with Alzheimers.

TheMiaWarren Mystikal was a rapper who cared. He told you to shake your ass but he also told you to watch yourself.

jenstatsky I always say no to drugs. Mostly after I take a bunch of em and am like, “hey I’m gonna start talking to these drugs!”

PolyesterPony Picture Tintin as a gay man and you’ve got a pretty good idea what I look like without my beard.

lieberian FB didn’t seem that interested in my new Perry the Platypus T-shirt, but I know you’ll get me, Twitter.

MightyQuinn72 The kids have gone into an After Christmas Electronic Game trance where they don’t eat and growl when I approach them.

MightyQuinn72 The one positive about the kid’s video game frenzy is that I hear there is a shortage of Single Player Shooters in the job market.

sgnp White plastic sheeting over an entire hill is the closest thing to snow I’ve seen all year.

lafix By the looks of this Starbucks, a whole lot of lumberjacks are working on their novels.

joversusvolcano When I go to Hogwarts I’m going to get a wand made out Keith Richards’ femur and unicorn pubes.

paulverhoeven They should have called Close Encounters of the Third Kind POTATO MOUNTAIN.

JRehling  People may say I’m old-fashioned, but e’re the Moone werthe and halpthsome Fairies ag’in the heckerlocke Smythe of Aethyr luvv.

Nathan_Pensky Remember when you tried to use the force on your shoe? You were 19. Not a good year for you. LOSE A TURN. #GameOfLife

warmandpunchy take the path that takes you to college. ha ha idiot, all your money is gone forever now #GameOfLife

 Nathan_Pensky  Who’s that guy from jr high who said his dad knew Patrick Swayze? There’s an hour gone remembering right there. GO DOWN THE CHUTE #GameOfLife

Nathan_Pensky  Feel a weird pain. It’s obviously cancer. Obviously. Think about cancer for three hours while trying to work. GO BACK TWO SPACES #GameOfLife

LouisPeitzman  Watch your health insurance expire right before an illness. Draw from Community Chest. There is nothing there. #GameOfLife

rare_basement  Grandma gives you twenty bucks out of pity. Move ahead three spaces. Hooray! #GameOfLife

notthatkendall  I’m pretty sure you guys are repinning stuff just to fuck with me now.

ClevelandPoet  Manager: “How ya doing?” Me: “I’m doing.” Manager: “You’re doing? Yeah I’m doing too.” Me: “Hooray doing!” Manager: …. #HowJimiRolls

NotActuallyHero  I love when someone’s bio says they’re the official account for someone you’ve never heard of because I appreciate officialness

thecorbettkid  all toys that make sounds will have their batteries removed tonight.

Patheticist  Halfway through War Horse I asked the guy next to me to shoot me so I didn’t suffer any more.

Athenabee  You know what I like to happen when someone comes over? Athena to walk out with my bra on.

BridgetCallahan  It’s hard to explain to someone for the twentieth time why they are literally the worst person you have ever met, which is why I use lasers.

cryanathus  Accidentally punched the door frame while trying to slide across the floor in new socks.

derekblackmon   Just put my 7 yr old in Time Out for not showing me how to split the blue birds.

Greeblemonkey  Good news: Didn’t break my arm ice skating yesterday. Bad News: It is so sore I’m having trouble doing laundry. WAIT. GOOD NEWS ALL AROUND.

jen_talley  So I’m thinking about getting out of pajamas today. I know! I need to pace myself.

theneener And, with delayed comedic timing, my dog has let out an audible fart.

TheBloggess  I wonder if @DalaiLama follows no one bc he’s making a very deep statement or if he just doesn’t know how twitter works.

eliza_evans  Good night, Internet. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

BillMc7  Tequila is like Instagram for your eyeballs.

thejennui  The Internet is made of cats.

FannyOvrTeacups If the cat gets any fatter, I’m going to buy him his own wardrobe of tiny woolen cardigans and change his name to Mr. Belvedere.

SpaghettiJesus  If this is a Downton Abbey marathon, I’ll believe in god, but only because it’s obviously a woman with good taste.

Toaster_Pastry  According to Klout I can gain 5 additional Twitter followers if I say the word “boob.” Oh, my boobs ache.

davepolak  “Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.”

slackmistress  In case any of you were feeling remotely attracted to me, my bra is filled with brownie crumbs.

ProfessorSnack  Remember my bus ride from DC to Indiana? This time I’m driving! With my family! Made boys go all day without peeing for conditioning.

tehawesome  Matt Damon plays an adventurous father who takes a big risk in the heartwarming comedy-drama We Bought a Zune.

ApocalypseHow  Show of hands: How many of you only remembered it’s Jesus’ birthday from Facebook?

shinyinfo  Mom: “You can check Google but it might be off today.” #Christmas

JohnFugelsang  Happy Birthday to a radical revolutionary who never defended torture, badmouthed gays, or asked a leper for a co-pay.

writingdirty I keep reading it as “Merry X-men”

colsonwhitehead  When the song was written, “bough” meant “corpse,” so you’re singing about decorating your house with the body parts of someone named Holly.

jillsmo  My tombstone will read: “even though she was Jewish, she was still killed by eggnog.”

thejennui  My cat has an inappropriate relationship with my new Snuggie.

steenyweeny  DIE HARD IS ON PRAISE SANTA

Smethanie  A toast to the easiest night of the year to get kids to bed! Cheers!

TheMostTender  The chunk of crab in my cousin’s hair is the least awkward thing going on at this family dinner.

Smethanie No, I’m not last-minute shopping. I’m in the toy aisle on Christmas Eve as part of my Zombie Apocalypse training.

iamfoxyroxie I have no idea what to get my dog for Christmas. #firstworldproblems

johnmoe  My non-American followers should know that the most popular gifts this year are still handguns, cowboy hats, and piles of deep fried things.

WordShore   Hurrah! The Asian corner shop is open tomorrow, so if you are local and haven’t got a present from me yet, you’ll be getting a yam.

Angel__Bee  You guys, I don’t want to jinx it but I’ve made it through the whole holiday season without having to hear that “Christmas Shoes” song

Greeblemonkey  GetGlue is the new Klout is the new Foursquare of annoying Twitter notifications.

shinyinfo  I’m just saying. If there is a siege, the library WILL. NOT. FALL. I have metal bookends I will throw like ninja stars if need be.

MaryHChrist  In the middle east. Pregnant. On a donkey. FML

mrshiggison  When I hear the kids coming up the stairs, I shove whatever I’m eating entirely into my mouth.

palinode I just let something me dismay.

TheRedQueen  Sometimes I wonder why I attempt anything beyond getting myself dressed and not drooling on everything.

badbanana  My New Year’s Resolution, like always, will be to avoid an elk herd attack. I have a good feeling 2012 will be the year.

ecareyo  While standing in line at the store, I whisper “There, there, you’ll be back here very soon” to the Christmas gift I’m about to buy for Mom

meganamram Every time a bell rings, an angel trained by Pavlov starts to drool.

AnnieLowrey  What is scarier: Toy-obsessed, super-judgmental, bearded trespasser, or winged lady who wants to trade dollar bills for teeth?

KagroX  Jingle Bells. They jingle all the way. It’s fun 2 ride in a sleigh w my friends. We dashing thru the snow. We dashing. #RebeccaBlackCarols

thegrumbles when i put my ear up to my coffee cup i can hear the ocean

chickenscottpie  Sorry, lady hitting on me in the fabric store, there’s a reason I’m a dude shopping in a fabric store.

KaseyAnderson Why would I dance like nobody’s watching? People need to see this shit.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Best of 2011: Scrapbook

29 Dec

These are my favorite Scrapbook and Adventure posts from 2011.

 

Scrapbook: Christmas Parade

11 Dec

We went to the local Christmas parade last weekend with our friends the Waltons and the Serios. It was Isobel’s fourth parade but the first one she was aware of what parades actually were. Valerie brought a surprise for the kids–glow sticks, which (unsurprisingly) were a huge hit. Note to self bring glow sticks to the parade next year. They’d also be really fun during fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Each time a float rolled past us Isobel called it a bus, and she kept saying, “I want to go on the bus! Mama and Isobel go on the bus.” She said it so firmly, as if she said it with enough conviction it would come true. I didn’t feel like lugging my regular camera around so instead I packed Camera Jr, which means the photos are kind of terrible but I love them nonetheless.

Follow Friday – Owl Apron

2 Dec

Last weekend some friends and I visited a craft fair and I splurged at bit (thank you, Etsy shop!) and bought a lovely green cowl and this child-sized owl apron for Isobel. I’ve been looking for an apron for her for a long time, and Isobel loves it. She likes to wear it around the house while carrying her various treasures around in the front pouch. Here she is helping me clean the kitchen. Such a good helper!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

jeff_ratfamily Even though no music is playing I’m doing my Mighty Mighty Bosstones dance in front of everyone & I invite you to do the same.

preschoolgems “I’m thankful for science, and mommy and daddy.”

TNG_S8 Picard is trapped inside a sentient turbolift. A clip show highlights the most memorable “Picard is trapped on a turbolift” moments.

rachel_nk my family’s review of pumpkin spice seltzer: it tastes like a yankee candle.

ProfessorSnack It appears that a cock ring isn’t part of the turkey preparation.

thejohnblog This turkey is making me sleepy. Seriously, he keeps going on and on about his shortcuts when he commutes to work.

girlwithatail My neighbors are outside nailing a turkey to a cross. They’re new to this country.

julieklausner Smurves.

steenyweeny instead of praying before you eat yell FINISH HIM and i promise your food will taste better every single goddamn time.

NASeason Remember when 4am was the time you came home, and not the time your baby made you get up for the day? Me neither.

heliumcell Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE!!! WooHoo!!! Happiness! Camaraderie! Thanking!!! YELLING!!! #PILLS #CAPSLOCK

MrWordsWorth The Macy’s Parade is an hour of entertainment stretched out over three hours.

YourAuntDiane Hard to keep the dozens of turkeys hiding from the Turkey Holocaust in the attic quiet. And none are writing in the diary I gave them.

louisck Happy Thanksgiving to all my followers who aren’t murderers. I wonder how many murderers follow me. Aw happy Tday to them too.

theleanover It’s weird how UC Davis added a question to their application asking how allergic you are to capsaicin and riot batons.

helgagrace Was just taken by a strong urge to clean all the things in the kitchen, but I managed to snap out of it!

TNG_S8 A virus that accesses genetic memory transforms Troi into a primeval warrior. Technically, Wesley still lives with his mom.

tehawesome Just had to stop myself from shouting “Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with!” upon winning a free game in Lord of the Rings pinball.

steenyweeny does gravy ice cream cake count as dessert or an entree for this pot luck?

jess_mc You will have to pry this pie from my cold fat hands.

delrayser It’s like that Walking Dead scene of zombies devouring a horse, but replace the zombies w/Wal-Mart shoppers & the horse w/$2 waffle irons.

mommywantsvodka I wonder if Siri knows where my pants are.

BridgetCallahan Fact: On Black Friday 1997, thousands of people were murdered in their sleep by Tickle Me Elmo. #BlackFriday

batemanimation I’m at Starbucks this Black Friday. People are trampling each other to get an Everything With Cheese Bagel. Oh, the bagelity.

AntDeRosa Everybody relax, they’re putting together a Superdupercommittee

notthatkendall “If being married doesn’t mean I can make you watch Home Alone repeatedly then I don’t understand what we’re doing here”

Alena29 I just uploaded a photo on FB that shows what it look like when you’re carrying an actual baby and a food baby…at the same time.

tehawesome That first trip to the bathroom after Thanksgiving is like a religious experience. And by that I mean an exorcism.

pourmecoffee Got some incredibly cheap bundled mortgages at the Goldman Sachs doorbuster sale.

wordlust Mmm…turgluten.

tehawesome The secret behind my mom’s excellent Thanksgiving butter is that she adds just a hint of mashed potatoes.

MeganBoley Thankful for a growing family and elastic pants.

MrsFridayNext Twitter, if I said just how thankful I am for you, people who don’t use twitter would look at me REAL funny. They don’t understand our love.

FarrenSquare What is Cyber Monday? Guilt-free-cyber-sex Day, I assume.

johnmoe The Kiss Army seemed too heavy so I signed up for the Kiss National Guard. I like them one weekend a month.

himissjulie Under my breath, as I try to figure out how to staple a booklet for a child: “I have master’s degree…I have a master’s degree…!”

mat Poopin’

hereslizz When helping my girl play dress up I need to teach her the fine line between well accessorized and bag lady.

crunchyvtmommy I always look on the bright side but damnit I wanted to buy that creepy elf and terrorize my husband.

bebehblog We got our Christmas tree! Hunted & killed it ourselves, like good Americans.

SwEtMrciflCrap Me to FIL: “I got Uncle Joe a Fidora”
“Dora, who’s Dora?”
“No, a hat-I got Uncle Joe a hat.”
“He’s allergic to cats!”
Tonight should be fun.

stegasp I have yet another Thanksgiving dinner with family today. If anyone needs me I will have retreated to a dark corner of my brain.

badbanana You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving weekend when your watch doesn’t fit anymore.

HeathRobots Either my belly button is bleeding, or I really let things get out of control with the cranberry sauce.

wordsinmymouth And just introduced my dad to honey badger. It was a magical father/daughter moment.

mylifeasadad Completing the Star Wars trilogy tonight with the kids. Trying to convince Des that Ewoks are not doggies.

MrWordsWorth This is the time of year when I start to question some of the endorsement deals Santa made.

timcarvell I wish Etsy were a physical store, just so I could see people punching each other on Black Friday over crocheted Ramones shirts for birds.

Angel__Bee “ran out of pants” is not a phrase I like to hear from Allie’s teachers upon picking her up from daycare.

ramisalame If Snoop Dogg told me his hobby was sculpting, I’d be like “Fo’ chisel?” and we’d high-five and laugh endlessly.

ecsuperhero My coworkers just acted appalled at me eating cookie dough straight from the tub. I thought they knew me.

InfiniteChicken I’m always getting the Wayans and the Mayans confused; which ones did the blood sacrifices?

theleanover I gave up on aphorisms; now I write affordisms. This one is only 10 cents if you act now.

EugeniaMorpho Most people are embarassed by the porn in their browser history. I am embarassed by google seaches like “lyrics Paula Abdul Rush Rush”.

InfiniteChicken @theleanover Lucky. I’ve only had sloppy, random sex in an art gallery bathroom. (Thomas Kinkade retrospective—hard to NOT get horny.)

FakePewResearch People talking to themselves on the bus this morning: 35% Have a phone; 62% Don’t have a phone; 3% Undecided.

SteveHuff A dude with a steam shovel for a hand is destroying my neighbor’s car. #CyborgMonday

cbnickras Googling “record store cat” yields a hit for “Records Store Cat Jobs” at simplyhired. Yes, I will take that job please.

muffpunch The phones are down at work. It’s a Cyber Monday miracle!

smileydooby Ever have one of those days where you think maybe those really WERE the droids you were looking for?

muffpunch Waiting for my boyfriend to log on to AIM for Cyber Monday.

stray Dear world: stop using the prefix “cyber” until we actually have Internet-enabled brain implants (a la “Ghost in the Shell”).

joeinverarity GET BABY JESUS OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR! — me, right now.

mikeleffingwell If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around… free tree!!!

louisvirtel Yes, I have weak gay limbs, but please don’t mock my Masculine Dystrophy.

wordlust I see Paris, I see France… Man, this LSD is top-notch.

johnmoe “Potatoes, I suppose.” #FirstDraftStateMottoes

MmeSurly Me: What sort of books are you gonna get at the library?
Henry: BOY books. Me: What are those about? Henry: Girls.

johnmoe I honestly didn’t expect Twitter to last this long. It’s like Kajagoogoo coming out with their 20th album and it’s actually pretty good.

MrWordsWorth Got out the boxes of Christmas decorations. There is no going back now.

theleanover Nude Gingrich. #NailedIt

chickenscottpie Homework from my piano teacher: “Get drunk tomorrow night and practice this.”

MassageByTed In light of the evidence, I’m forced to conclude that, at some point, my testicles were much, much larger than they are now.

jberthume I am more angry about my Doritos Double XP Call of Duty code having already been used than a grown man ought to be, I suppose.

Patheticist Sometimes I feel below average then I click on a trending topic and ALAKAZAM! I’m a comparative genius.

Patheticist Radio Shack is the most literal name of any store.

mikeleffingwell No one ever talks about what an asshole Toddler Jesus was.

slackmistress Can I call in fat to work? Asking for myself.

LovesOfLife Maybe, just maybe that 9pm coffee was a bad idea.

JRehling If you’re planning your Christmas shopping, I’d like some new golf clubs and total power over the dead.

paulverhoeven The movie ‘The Ring’ should be renamed ‘Renember that one time, when I hugged that corpse in a disused well for nothing?’.

MariaMelee My effing PMS is like something out of Neverending Story. ARTAAAAXXXXXXXXXX.

cryanathus It’s the best thing ever when your farts sound like you are unzipping a suitcase.

cryanathus My patronus is a honey badger.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Scrapbook: Sweeping at the Library

6 Nov

Last week my Mom and I took Isobel to the special Halloween program at the library. It was packed beyond anything I’d ever seen. A sea of toddlers and babies, bedecked in adorable costumes, squirming as we sang songs and motioned through finger plays.

Isobel normally loves interacting with kids at the library and wanders around gregariously among the children during story time. There were so many people that this time she stuck close to home and even sat on my lap. She kept saying, “I’m a little shy.” I’d conservatively estimate there were 75-100 people there that day.

While we waited for the library to open, she busied herself by sweeping up the leaves that had gathered by the entrance. She is such a clean, hardworking witch.

Thrifty Living: Toy Kitchen

3 Oct

It started while I was thrifting, when Isobel tagged along beside me, grabbing things out of bins or trying on hats when she thought I wasn’t looking. Or maybe it really started before that, when she sad on the ground as a baby, digging through my measuring cups and playing with spoons. Then, it occurred to me: I could start building her a collection of thrifted kitchen items to play with. Her own mini thrifted kitchen.

You can probably tell my favorite area of the thrift store is the kitchen paraphernalia. I’ve talked about it a couple of times. (And I have more planned for the future.) It’s just that vintage kitchens are so charming and so interesting and generally very well-made. It was only natural, then, especially since I have Isobel along with me when I shop, to start buying toys for her in this aisle.

Children’s kitchen toys aren’t expensive. In fact you can come by them very, very cheaply. In many cases there is nothing wrong with a regular ol’ pot and pan set, and you can even find some really cute ones without looking very far. Why then, go to the effort of building a thrifted kitchen? Simple: It’s more fun. You can build a whole cooking set based just on things you find secondhand. The best play knives I’ve seen were actually (totally blunt, completely dull) cheese knives in the bin at my favorite religious charity shop. I could find a dozen small saucepans and mini loaf pans in under and hour if I wanted to. Spoons, ladles, all manner of spatulas can be found for a few cents and make wonderful accessories to a child’s play kitchen.

The first thing I bought for the thrifted play kitchen was plastic fruit and vegetables. These are better than all the plastic food versions I’ve seen for kids, and it was less than a dollar for all this and more (Isobel was playing with some of the fruit at the time). The best part about this display food is that it’s healthier than most of the fake food items you can buy. I bought a bag of children’s play food for a dollar at a yard sale before Isobel was born. The healthiest thing in it was frozen carrots. It seems like I can find some healthier versions now that don’t include only canned or boxed vegetables, but I’ve yet to see a set than includes the variety and detail that this set has. Sure, it might be out there. But I found this (in an attractive display basket) for fifty cents.

(A word of warning, as with anything you give your child, especially if it’s not a toy meant for young kids, watch for hazardous parts. I have several bunches of plastic grapes that I put in the attic because she could pluck off those plastic globes and choke on them.)

You can find full-sized small saucepans easily, as I mentioned, but Isobel loved playing with these metal measuring cups. She put them the DIY kitchen my Aunt made her before we bought her a toy kitchen. She filled them with plastic hot dogs and wooden wedges of cheese. She’d shake her sealed jar of pink sprinkles in for seasoning and then she’d lift it directly to her lips, sipping loudly, before exclaiming, “Yummy!”

This mitt is perfect for a four or a five year old.

I’m not exactly sure what these were used for, but their long handles suggest they are for open fire cooking, maybe part of a camping set. I really don’t know but I adore their orange color.

I bought these at an estate sale wherein I had a very embarrassing moment. I walked in the door and immediatley I could see three paths to take: the living room, the family room, or the kitchen. Obviously, I chose the kitchen area and became fascinated by an antique kettle. I rushed forward for a closer look (sensing others in the kitchen who might also want it) before realizing it was full of hot coffee and the ladies in the kitchen were running the sale. Which was all piled in the living and family rooms.

This thrifted gravy  boat is perfect for Isobel’s kitchen. It’s to tiny, yet perfectly proportioned like a real gravy boat. Zorro must have known I’d want to take a photo of it next to something else for scale, so he obliged.

I found this miniscule whisk and this small ice cream cup on the same trip, and Isobel loves to play with them together as if she thinks they are part of a set. Usually when I’m cooking she’s on a step stool right next to me and sometimes she’ll be stirring her little bowl with this whisk while I cook.

The pot in the background was my great aunts and it was hers as a child. It’s circa 1900 and has held up remarkably well. The miniature pan next to it came from my Nana and is surprisingly not a toy. It was part of her Revereware cookware set. It’s the perfect size for melting butter or heating up a bit of leftover sauce or chocolate in the days before microwaves. Little saucepans like this used to be common.

The watering can is usually kept with the kitchen stuff. It just is. I pulled it off a wreath for a nickle and Isobel likes to “water” indoor things with it.

The tiny rolling pin came from the same estate sale where I totally embarrassed myself and the tea scoop is a measuring cup for flour. I talked a bit about the blue tea cups here.

Collecting all these things only serves a purpose if your kid likes them enough to play with them.

Which, fortunately, mine does. They are some of her favorite toys and the first thing she reaches for when she wants to play, “cook.” I’m always thrifting and on the lookout for more items to add to her collection. In terms of price and charm, secondhand is definitely the way to go.

Scrapbook: Bag Lady

21 Sep

Actually, this is how I load up our stroller at the Farmer's Market.

When you become a parent, one of the first things you learn (besides how to function on inhuman levels of sleep) is that everything  is a phase. That cute noise they make after they sneeze, that little expression they make when their eyes are open, the habits they have as infants all change as rapidly as they grow. One of my favorite things Isobel used to do before she really got talking was to say “Wow! Wow! Wow!” over and over and over. Anthony and I took it for granted, somehow assuming that she’d be saying “Wow!” adorably forever, but then one day, she stopped, and real words took their place. We’ve learned over and over that everything’s a phase, the good, the bad, the annoying, it’s all a stage of growth on their way to becoming toddlers, becoming children, becoming adults.

Isobel’s current hobbies include organizing things by type, color, and size (she’s going to make an excellent librarian, don’t you think?) and more recently, hoarding. I often see her struggling to push her overloaded stroller, filled with goodies and festooned with overflowing purses, down the hallway like some diminutive bag lady. It doesn’t help that she’s usually wearing an outfit she picked out herself and that she’s speaking in a near undecipherable toddler pidgin-language made up of Spanish, English and colloquialisms specific to our family. Lately when I walk down the hall and she’s a bit behind me she’ll yell, “Mama! Wait up!”

This is just the contents of the stroller seat.

Whenever we leave the house we inevitably engage in negotiation for how much stuff she can bring with her. Sometimes she gets away with two purses, but we usually narrow it down to one.

All of this stuff is important to her. She sees value in everything.

When we go outside she picks flowers, and later we’ll find petals she surreptitiously stuck into purses or her pockets, or at the bottom of her baby doll stroller seat. Usually by the time they are discovered they have withered into crunchy wads.

But this is just a phase. Someday this will all be junk to her, and I’ll be sad because I’ll know that childlike part of her that saw the potential in everything, including a crumpled receipt, will be gone. But by that time. there will be some wonderful new thing to take its place.

Follow Friday: Holding Hands

16 Sep

I am so going to miss the Farmer’s Market when it closes next month. I’ve been to almost all of them this year, and some of the time we’ve been lucky enough to meet up with my bestie Angela and her son Kingston. This trip they not only decided they were going to spend about a half hour spontaneously dancing, but they also took the opportunity to hold hands and run around.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

NASeason Ergo baby carrier hidden bonus: no bra required.

BridgetCallahan What if when God said “I have a plan”, he meant “…to kill you all. Muahahahaha”?

theleanover When I say “Will cuddle for $$” I mean I’ll cuddle and you give me money as opposed to the more conventional arrangement of me paying you.

iNusku I sure hope these anti-psychotics don’t level me out, and turn me into a Facebook user.

sgnp When all is lost, flip the board over like a maniac. #LifeLessonsMonopolyTaughtMe

mrpilkington Okay last chance for you to give me access to your sweet Manhattan penthouse for a week. I have zero dollars but I will break things.

jillgengler Seen on way into work: high-waisted acid wash jeans paired with a side pony. Children of the future, those of the past send warnings!

thecorbettkid big chapter of our lives. 4yo started school this am. his dad says: “well, one step closer to making his own money!” um…

hotdogsladies While I have absolutely no interest in organized sports, I’m always pulling for anyone who’s trying to use MUNI. Guess I love an underdog.

slackmistress Crappy Diem, amirite?

wowser “We’d like to employ a slave, but they have to be very posh” – Internships.

joeinverarity In case you are having too good of a good day, let me remind you, Snooki is a New York Times Best-Selling Author, and we live in this world.

TheAngryDM Apparently, I can control the weather. I can summon drenching rain merely by leaving my car windows open.

theleanover Isn’t it embarrassing when you open your laptop up in a classroom and the video player’s still on and instead of porn it’s Star Trek DS9?

PlumeriaSprite Hugging an old, plump, buxom woman is like a comfy memory foam mattress.

markleggett “Conway Twitty” sounds like an app.

Handflapper Who the fuck are these skank whore looking fairies hanging out with Tinkerbell anyway? Disney’s version of The Bad Girls’ Club?

LouisPeitzman I’d drive a lot better if you’d just let me win all our Words With Friends games.

willgoldstein Is it bad that I need my twitter and instagram feeds to figure out when I last bathed my child?

FozziesRevenge i thought turtles were too slow to be effective ninjas

librarianearp Attention. I have added Tiptoe Through The Tulips to my ukulele recital list. I believe this means I should be Tiny Tim for Halloween.

smonkyou My wife told me to call at 3pm to find out where I am. But I know where I am so I’m not sure if I should call.

chickenscottpie When you harmonize with the hum of the garage door opener, people act like, somehow, you’re the one who’s crazy.

geekandahalf Drunk. Tell ya mama.

PolyesterPony You’ll be happy to know that you can mix gins with no more ill affect. Effect? Fuck. Maybe a little effect. Dammit.

slackmistress How many years of marriage is the Star Trek Anniversary?

TheThryll Some people like Beethoven’s 5th, I prefer “Dennis Steals the Embryo” from the Jurassic Park Soundtrack.

YourAuntDiane Anyone want some leftovers of this vegan dessert I just had? It’ll keep forever, it’s a bowl of water.

shinyinfo You know someone’s got their lyric game locked up when they make a Death of a Salesman reference.

johnmoe I asked my producer to find audio of Kardashians. For our public radio show. And the day just kind of went downhill after that.

UncleDynamite Every time I see a little kid slither out of a ball pit, I think “Design fail.”

Toaster_Pastry According to our office copy of People magazine, William and Kate are planning to get married.

aspaul I should never have bought an audiobook of Ethan Hawke narrating Slaughterhouse-Five. I’d rather hear Gilbert Gottfried reading Lolita.

himissjulie oh, man, I’d love to design a library. it might end up looking like homer simpson’s car, but it would be so much fun.

andrewtshaffer I found a poor little lonely pumpkin pie at Super Target and I had no choice but to take it home with me.

LIFECOACHERS Use your anger-charged batteries of hate to power your Energizer Bunny fists.

danbeames If M Night Shyamalan was on Twitter: “Just went to the shop to buy milk and eggs, now I’m WE ALL LIVE INSIDE A COMPUTER.”

sarcasmically Bacon is good and all but let’s be honest, it’s just a carrier for the chocolate frosting.

MassageByTed One universal truth about city buses: someone in the back is dying.

shariv67 Fucking your way to the top is a great way to become a world class fuck-up.

badbanana Day five of the Insanity Workout. Ten minutes of talking to a mailbox followed by an hour at McDonald’s with a sword.

ProfessorSnack One man’s junk is another man’s pleasure.

Ty_Schutz I’m so comfortable with my sexuality, I’ve started farting in front of it.

rachow Think I figured out the secret to a bigger dick. Might shoot everyone an email.

abdpbt Is it real irony or Alanis irony that the OB/GYN has the most uncomfortable seating options for pregnant women available?

taryn_a_k When I was younger I though Sleeping With The Enemy was part two of Pretty Woman. That explains a lot of my paranoia in relationships.

TheNextMartha When some of you admit that you’re crazy? I believe you.

eliza_evans Okay, have to eat before proofing this cover letter. Else I’ll probably send it off saying something like, ‘Please love me. I work good.’

helgagrace Wow, I actually found a horror movie ON THE SHELF. WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. My patrons are getting lazy.

posthumanist Literally every Republican presidential candidate looks like they could play Satan in a movie about a Satan president.

DaisyJDog You ever notice how white dogs are all like this but black dogs are also the same way because dogs aren’t racist?

theleanover Nothin’ makes me sadder than people! LOL!

muffpunch Dropped the carafe to my espresso maker & broke it. Cleaned up the glass then knocked the machine over & broke it. I’m pretty good at this.

babybabylemon I wonder if Spencer has figured out why he asks me to sing the ABC song every time after twinkle twinkle.

UnicornFlavored Note: “Tranquil Mint” aromatherapy lotion from B&BWorks smells NOT like mint, but like a heavily cologned man in white linen pants.

eihposa Holy crap I didn’t mean for that to be in all caps. Sorry. I feel dirty.

SpaghettiJesus I always mistake people with Audrey Hepburn avatars for Audrey Hepburn.

geekandahalf I’m not even running for president and I could freaking beat Newt Gingrich. #realtalk

LouisPeitzman The more this country goes to shit, the more I rely on the hilarious people I follow to keep me sane. You’re all my Jon Stewarts!

rstevens Peek At Chu is a dude who looks in people’s windows. Pikachu is the famous electric cryptid. Know your cryptids.

DoubleBerg426 Just pulled off the rare sneeze-fart-sigh triplet.

morninggloria The Republican Debate happened tonight. Or, as I like to call it, The Great American Who Can Keep A Straight Face The Longest? Contest.

sarcasmically I hope to make it big one day and have an attendant whose sole responsibility will be to make sure my hands are never lacking an Otter Pop.

SpaghettiJesus The most important moral I have taken away tonight is that just because you have a side salad in your fridge, you don’t have to eat it. #GOP

luckyshirt People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

jillsmo According to my mom, in order to teach me about sex as a kid, she bought me a Playgirl magazine. And I colored all the penises purple.

ShaunLetendre Either ‘desperate and lonely’ doesn’t work anymore, or this is a gay bar.

jenifersf  “Capture and battle magical breasts” is what I just read an ad for a video game say. That would be better than what the game actually is.

WordShore “The red means hot. The blue means cold. Wanna practice a little?” Handyman has little faith in my uncivilized European upbringing.

MassageByTed Measuring my head with a ruler because I couldn’t possibly have anything more pressing to do.

luckyshirt Fall fashion trends update from my campus! This year it’s “picnic table pelts” for the guys, and “what the hell are sizes” for the ladies!

SaraJOY Pretty sure that when I think really mean things & do not say them, candy is supposed to rain from the heavens. WHERE’S MY CANDY, SKY?!?!

domesticH nobody cried, the toast didn’t burn, and the first thing i put on worked… i’m pretty sure this’ll be the day i get hit by a car.

anildash One of the best things about getting old is how many things you don’t have to give a shit about anymore.

saraschaefer1 Watching a documentary about a sheep farm. THEY ARE PUTTING FOOTIE PAJAMAS ON A NEWBORN LAMB.

wordsinmymouth Could some one please DM me a Xanax. Thanks!

han_nahj adults should NEVER have to wear leotards.

theleanover Admits he was a barnacle that clung to the side of Noah’s Ark. #CheneyBookSurprises

theleanover Foreword written by George W. Bush: in crayon. #CheneyBookSurprises

theleanover Written on a typewriter built by Satan. #CheneyBookSurprises

NicLewis Has never eaten an orphan. He prefers the family to watch as he eats. #CheneyBookSurprises

Mothpete If you don’t have enough explosions in your movie, you’re doing it the wrong Michael Bay.

telephase Sometimes, I start trying to play Wu-Tang Clan lyrics on Words with Friends. That’s how I know it’s time to put down the phone.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.