Tag Archives: Voldemort

So, This Happened

6 Dec

In the spirit of my Posts About Random, here are some random things that have happened lately.

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NOT IN THE MOOD FOR A LYNCHING

Anthony and I snuck out while the baby was with Grandma and watched the latest installment of Harry Potter. Before the show was a Glenn Beck commercial. This is how that went down:

Anthony: HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Me: Honey. Please. Be quiet. I really don’t want to be lynched today.

At least one other person was laughing, which made our day.

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GODDAMMIT, JUPITER

While my Dad and I were trying to get the turkey in the oven on Thanksgiving, Jupiter jumped on the counter, stole the gizzard, and ran down the hall into Isobel’s bedroom.

He spent the rest of the day locked in the garage.

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ANTHONY WANTS TO PLAY D&D

Anthony: I really want to play D&D now.
Me: Okay. Sure. Fine by me.
Anthony: No, I mean right now.
Me: Uh. We’re in the car.
Anthony: You love garden gnomes, right? You could be a gnome!
Me: I don’t think they’re the same as D&D gnomes.
Anthony: We’ll make an exception. You can be a garden gnome. Suddenly, by the roses, you see Voldemort! What do you do?
Me: I attack him.
Anthony: With what?
Me: Tiny gnome axes. Like, a bunch of them. All garden gnomes have little axes. Or tiny hammers. I throw them at his shins.
Anthony: Okay, then what do you do?
Me: Um… I pull down my trousers to relieve myself?
Anthony: You’ve confused Voldemort! Your attack is successful!

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