Tag Archives: Winter

Scrapbook: Home

29 Jan

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Scrapbook: Little Icicles

23 Jan

I raise the blinds as I do every morning when I notice the entire yard is hung with crystals. Every branch, leaf, and blade of grass is coated in sparkly points of light. A hard freeze isn’t uncommon. But enough moisture for icicles is.

I pull on a sweater, scarf and coat and knot my tangled hair on top of my head. I pull rain boots on my feet that stop halfway up my pajama pants. My neighbors have seen me in pajama pants before. I decide not to worry about it. I grab my camera and shut the screen door so Isobel can see see and hear me. Absorbed in her game of tea all morning, I figured she wouldn’t miss me, but as soon as I step into the flower bed she starts to whine.

“Do you want to come outside with Mommy?”

More whining. A nod yes.

“It’s really cold. Are you sure?”

“I want to go outside with Mommy.”

I hurry back in. Already the morning is warming up. I have only a few minutes before the frozen diamonds melt and turn the ground to mud. Isobel is still in her pajamas, too, but I throw on some rain boots, a sweater and a coat before grabbing her hand to lead her outside.

“My pink purse!” she cries. We can’t forget that.

We step outside and I show her the icicles. The frozen grass crunches under our feet. We explore the flower bed and find unexpected bit of ice that sparkle like shards of glass scattered over the ground.

“The plants are coated with ice. Ice is what happens to water when it gets very cold. Water is ice and ice is water.”

“It’s pretty, mommy!”

“We have to enjoy it now because it won’t last.” I look at Isobel’s hand with her perfect, miniature nails, caressing a branch. I notice her expression, full of concentration. Her tiny body, engulfed by the jacket, little fist clutching her pink purse.

“We have to enjoy it. Because it won’t last.”

Follow Friday: Christmas Past

23 Dec

Today’s post features photos from Christmas past. Enjoy!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

NicLewis RT @nprnews: After 25 Years In Woman’s Stomach, A Pen Still Writes // It wrote, “Get me out of here!”

Pinboard Ask yourself this: is there any JRR Tolkien place name that does not sound like the name of a mood stabilizer or antifungal cream?

kwmurphy I can never spell the word “hemorrhoids” right on the first try. You’d think I could, as it comes up so often in my line of work.

danforthfrance Already can’t stop saying “Bagginses. What is a Bagginses, Precious?” Welp, be glad you don’t know me in real life. It’ll be a year of this.

maggiesox I WILL CHOKE SOMEONE FOR THE HOBBIT TRAILER, COME ON APPLE.

inversejaik Thanks to the replicator, the crew learns the true meaning of Christmas. Crusher is perplexed when Worf’s heart grows three sizes. #TNG_S8

inversejaik Geordi and Data put warp plasma in Barclay’s coffee, with horrifying results. Worf’s son Alexander wonders why he even bothers. #TNG_S8

inversejaik Worf learns that the Klingon way of mathematics takes too long. On a dare, Lwaxana Troi marries Barclay. #TNG_S8

inversejaik When the ship falls through a spacetime anomaly, Picard is trapped in a turbolift with himself. Worf is enraged by the game of golf. #TNG_S8

inversejaik Riker & Worf use the holodeck to research the 21st-cen. ideal of being “bros.” Troi goes on and on about her most recent makeover. #TNG_S8

MrWordsWorth It must be tough for people on The Real World to actually have to return to the real world.

ScrewyDecimal This anxious, nauseated, “how will I pay my credit card bill next month” feeling can only mean one thing: I’ve finished Christmas shopping!

Angel__Bee Allie really doesn’t appreciate my Eddie Vedder impression as much as she should.

steenyweeny gonna put my religion as ‘grumpy as hell’ on this HR form.

MmeSurly PAJAMAS I WANT TO BE INSIDE YOU

Zaius13 They finally released Schindler’s List on blu-ray with tons of bonus features, including over an hour of hilarious bloopers!

NASeason I appear to have reserved an awfully large portion of brain space for 80’s lyrics.

BugginWord “Honey, do we have a protractor?” – Not what I was expecting.

schmutzie I’LL USE ALL-CAPS IF I WANT TO. THE INTERNET ISN’T NEARLY LOUD ENOUGH.

theRratedBull I think my half-ass effort isn’t working because I’m still a top-performer at work. I think what we need here is a quarter-ass effort.

Patheticist I feel guilty that I’ve spent more on myself than the rest of my entire family combined. I’m teaching them a Christmas lesson, probably.

willgoldstein “Don’t let the dog lick you, she’s been eating her own poop again.” #thingsIhavetosaytoooften

sarahmcdallen Me: We have a chance of snowy owls this winter! Kim (baffled): They can predict those “birds falling out of the sky events” now?

finslippy I now have seven pounds of pulled pork. Just in time for Hanukkah!

danforthfrance My cat purrs like the Enterprise-D warp core. No YOU’RE never getting laid again!

notperfect Before you think that my shopping hesitance is partly financial savvy: I once paid a massage therapist to listen to my sacrum.

InfiniteChicken I just gave @KimKardashian +K in Chlamydia!

onenjen So, now that my son is potty trained, I’m gonna be wiping pee off the toilet seat for the next, what, 15 years?

heliumcell YEAH, CUT AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KEYBOARD SOLO. I REALLY WANT TO SEE WHAT THE DRUMMER IS DOING RIGHT THERE. OH COOL, HITTING A CYMBAL

Patheticist You can accurately guess a person’s age by length of their voicemail message.

jenstatsky When I was a kid, I honestly thought that using Quicken was a major part of adulthood.

sarahbellum Today was amazeballs, only without the amaze part.

juan_incognito Most of the time when I appear to be in deep thought, I’m just thinking about what I’m going to build with my Legos when I get home.

notthatkendall An awkward thing is trying to figure out how you will explain to a spambot that you don’t eat McDonalds.

goodinthestacks James Franco can get professors fired for giving him bad grades? That dude really can do it all.

joeinverarity You all moonwalked into my heart.

shinyinfo If I were a millionaire I’d take the train places ALL THE TIME. Across the country, several times a year. I’d waste my money SO HARD!

thejohnblog Rick Perry issued a press release extending his condolences to the family of Lil Kim.

sgnp Bras are pretty amazing. They’re MADE to have boobs shoved in ’em! #HouseCleaningThoughts

Smethanie LOL Hot Pockets for including conventional oven cooking instructions!

macleanbrendan If we’ve learned anything from Kim Jong-Il’s death it’s that people are very good at quoting Team America.

abobrow This has been a shit year for my fantasy dictator team.

NASeason So, at what age do I have to stop dressing my kid in one piece pajamas? Twelve?

shariv67 Huz: What do you want for xmas? Me: A Mercedes? Huz: Try again. Me: Foot rubs for a year? Huz: What model Mercedes?

80sMomKara My 8 year old: “On Christmas, why don’t we go to that midnight madness thing over at that church in Biloxi?” Me: “You mean midnight MASS?”

Soulsmithy Scary poops are the price we pay for holiday potlucks.

theSethsquatch The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But only if you enter through his ass.

NicLewis 8-track players in attics transform back into their disco-robot forms for the long trip back to planet Funk. #ChristmasMiracle

owlparliament Charles Bukowski reanimates and comes over; is ornery but also a surprising good pastry chef. #ChristmasMiracle

ryankresse People take nitrates for heart problems. Bacon has nitrates. Therefore, bacon cures heart problems. #logic

mocoddle If I were to get some sort of voice-control typing software, all my tweets would be profanity and chupacabras.

michael_J_m00n When I jingle, I jingle all the way.

paulverhoeven Just tried to Shazam a fire alarm at a Westfield.

ruthakers You can tell a lot about a girl by how many hand movements it takes her to describe her prom dress.

allisonthemeep Um, Christmas is in one week. Holy shit. I mean, Oh, holy shit. The stars are brightly shining.

J__Swift Okay, Twitter is distracting me from my new boyfriend: video games. We’re gonna go make love now.

TheRedQueen My toddler just shushed me. Apparently I was making too much noise while he was trying to watch his stories.

geekandahalf Pretty sure I meant “bitches”, autocorrect, but good lookin’ out.

J__Swift I think I’ll buy something to cheer myself up. This gun oughta do it.

apodixis Geese always sound like they’re laughing at me. I wonder if they know how good they taste.

alwysabridesmd I see there is a jammie snuggie thing called “Forever Lazy.” pretty sure that would be the phrase I’d choose for knuckle tattoos. #4EVAlazy

dspiral I really should have stretched before wrapping those gifts. #gettingold

benmarvin My new years resolution is to count how many times I poop in 2012.

lemoneyes Waking up early makes it harder for me to stay up late. Too little sleep is what makes that seem like an insight.

danforthfrance Strange that no one in the Nativity stood with their back to the camera.

Toaster_Pastry Daughter brought home a small vial of pure concentrated weapons-grade glitter.

rstevens In the Marvel Universe, a “Daily Bugle” is also a sex act.

mikeleffingwell It sucks when you try to join a gang in a new city and find out none of your street creds transferred.

Lilacmess We got our xmas stockings from my MIL today and proceeded to open all of it. We have completely failed as adults. I blame husband

kellyoxford “I love her period.” – missing comma, game changer

mikeleffingwell ONE DAY after I cancel my “Whoopi Goldberg fart” Google alert and look what happens.

schmutzie I’ve now expanded my diet from peanut butter sandwiches & Little Debbie Nutty Bars to include peanut butter cookies. Diversity is key.

TheNextMartha I’m really hoping to pass this plague onto someone who deserves it.

jenstatsky “Here lies Jen Statsky. She is survived by fourteen hundred half-full punch cards from various coffee shops.”

Angel__Bee Oh good, Allie’s behind the Christmas tree grunting. This will end well.

badbanana The next Mission Impossible movie should be two hours of Tom Cruise trying not to jump onto a couch after drinking seven Red Bulls.

onenjen In my son’s world, the garbage man is on par with Ryan Gosling. “Like, OMG. He WAVED at me!”

johnmoe Question about those Progressive commercials: why are people who are dead and in heaven concerned about car insurance?

JRehling Before you decide you’re the world’s worst cook, I just burned a banana to ashes while peeling it.

Kitty_Crawford I am pregnant. The father is satay chicken curry.

morninggloria GOP debate would be much more tolerable if a merry prankster had queued up the Little Rascals theme to play as the candidates took the stage

ProfessorSnack I spend a lot more of my time than I used to searching for beverages I’ve set down.

LaurenBans How is the tagline for the McRib not “Ribbed For Your Pleasure?” How?

corrinrenee Blankets should have pockets for your feet. #bedtimethoughts

markleggett Send me a DM if you want to swing by my house tonight and get totally fucked-up on vegetarian pizza.

MaybeNotSteve I’m so hungry I asked a horse to the prom and she said YES!!!

adiopink Re: woman who gestured at my dad & asked what my husband does. My sister says I should’ve replied: “He sleeps with my mom.”

meganmonique “The Kinect gives me more opportunities to use my jazz hands!” – The Mister

sucittaM Even if none of the Republican candidates become president, they all still have promising careers as actors in Kay Jewelers commercials.

Caissie Every time I look at Ron Paul my mouth starts watering for a Werther’s Original! #TweetThePress

PolyesterPony My xbox no longer listens when I say pause. We’ve grown so far apart.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Scrapbook: Pretty In Pink

11 Sep

These photos are from last December, when I edited them and filed them away and eventually, forgot about them. Isobel isn’t the same little girl anymore, but she’s still pretty in pink, isn’t she?

Outside

2 Mar

A few weeks ago, when the weather warmed up and it felt like spring in the middle of January, we began taking Isobel out in the backyard again. It had been a really long time since the late summer and fall afternoon ritual of spending an hour or so outside. It was like Isobel suddenly remembered those times, and she began asking to go outside with gusto on an hourly basis. I’m still not sure if taking her outside in January was a mistake: it’s been terribly cold (by our standards), and there’s nothing quite like your fingers icing over from holding a plastic bottle of bubbles, soap dripping on your hand, while your one and a half year old yells more bubbles please!

When she does get the chance to go outside she inevitably looks for ants. She has a fierce love-hate relationship with ants. She loves them because to her, anything moving or animate has the possiblity of being a “friend.” But she truly hates them because the banana experience as taught here they are EW EW YUCKY.

Here she is greeting the ants, with a hello and a friendly wave.

Then she just starts shouting baby obscenities at them.

YOU’LL LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM INSULTING YOU, ANTS!

We love going outside with her, but even dressed in my down jacket I cannot stay warm enough. Isobel seems impervious to the cold, like it’s not a Thing and it doesn’t exist and don’t you realize there are flowers that need picking?, and she runs through the yard, stiffly bundled in the two layers of coats I insist she wear.

Her fingers become tiny icicles, stabbing into the palm of my hand when she hands me a flower or poking into my legs so that I can lift her up and wave to an airplane. I’m surprised she can even move them and yet she insists, demands even, to go outside so she can do the following activities:

Race – this game consists of us standing at one end of the yard, counting down, and running to the other end. She usually gets distracted partway through and we must coax her to finish.

Coloring with Chalk – she’s bored of coloring the ground of the patio, but will gladly color the house, the fence, or the thin strip of cement outlining our flowerbed.

Blow Bubbles – Isobel can actually blow her own bubbles on a semi-regular basis, but really this boils down to me blowing bubbles, and her chasing them down and popping each and every one. She’s the Bubble Gestapo.

Those ants never seem excited to see me for some reason.

Picking Flowers – by “flowers”, we mean weeds. We still don’t have a lawn in our backyard, just weeds that are occasionally mowed into place by our neighbor. This was an ideal situation for a long time, and everyone should be so fortunate to have a neighbor that does lawns for a business, but he’s been going through some hard times and we haven’t seen him lately. So our ‘lawn’ is extra impressive, and at spots comes up to Isobel’s chest.

Our yard’s kind of a wreck, and each time I go out there I’m reminded of everything that needs work. But I guess we’ll be spending lots of time out there this summer, so I should get to it.