This week’s Follow Friday features Isobel and her cousins playing with the contents of the Thrifted Dress Up Chest, or, as they like to call it, “Going on Safari.” Or, as Isobel likes to call it, “Going on a ‘Fari.” No matter who comes over, the dress up chest is the most popular game to play for playdates at our house, and I have a feeling I’m going to rely on it more and more as the weather gets ugly.
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
LouisPeitzman Oops, accidentally bludgeoned everyone who calls it “Turkey Day.”
apelad There ain’t no effort like minimal effort.
zamoose @apelad …’Cause a minimal effort don’t… meh.
apelad Time to hang the Christmas lights. I’m thinking just one or two. Maybe the kind with skulls or chili peppers.
simontarr With apologies to Sartre: Hell is other people’s kitchens.
pourmecoffee If Newt Gingrich is the answer, the question better be: “What was worse about 1999 than Creed’s ‘Higher’?”
asiajane Just watched my 7-year-old take a flying leap off the bed and land in a basket of folded laundry. She is pretending to be an owl.
shinyinfo I installed a new toilet seat today & the roommate hasn’t mentioned it! How do I broach this subject with her to prevent future tensions?
TheRedQueen Government hooker is trending. Is that because we give them money and they fuck us?
brand_BIG Bleh! I feel like Keith Richards looks.
EvenMoreSarah One of this couple’s must haves is “space for bikes.” Let me introduce you to “outside,” there is lots of it.
alwysabridesmd I wonder what it is like to cheer loudly for Mitt Romney! What would it be like to have that brain!
notthatkendall So I’m pretty sure @thepioneerwoman owns stock in butter.
TheRedQueen When you end your email with an ellipse I read it like this 
theleanover If I think of my GRE as fighting a dragon and the prize is leaving Canada, then I know I can do it. But fighting a dragon with math is hard.
iasshole In bed with stomach bug. What is more humbling than having both ends turn into a firehose?
palinode Because I could not stop for Death/ He kind of stopped talking to me./ I’m like “Whoah, Death, I was in a hurry”/ And he’s like “yeah sure.”
jess_mc Ow my eye. I’m not supposed to get food products in it.
mikeleffingwell When did Jeff Bridges turn into a grandfatherly gold prospector?
RailbirdJ I just sent an email that only had the words “I don’t know shit.” I feel like that sums up my life.
badbanana People are like books. You can’t judge them by appearance alone and it’s not cool to burn a big pile of them.
mrpilkington Whoa! Hardcore poetry regular just bought a graphic novel!! I wanted to pat him on his graying beard.
lovegrrbottle Just saw an old man walking down the road w an old-fashioned pipe in his mouth. Old man, you’re the boss.
TheNextMartha I’m going to do it. I’m gonna throw out the rest of the Halloween candy.
steenyweeny my stupidest dreams have come true and somebody took a picture of jimmy wales wearing a different shirt!
FakePewResearch Enjoyment of cranberry sauce: Watching it slide out of the can: 98%; eating it: 2% #TurkeyStats
Toaster_Pastry I’m an avid multitasker. Right now I’m tweeting on my iPad while I’m pooping in the shower.
TheNextMartha I could really use a group of you to come sit at my kitchen table and spurt out 140 randomly all day while I get stuff done. Thanks.
johnmoe Ooh, #WhatWomenWant is trending. I’ll play! Uh… Food! Shelter! Employment! Fulfillment! Education! // Oh, I got a read on the ladies.
FlyoverJoel Circle of Life: Dinosaurs died and decomposed into oil which we turned into plastic that helps power computers to make CGI Dinosaurs.
babybabylemon Toddlers are a delicate balance between adorable and evil.
adamisacson At the dentist. My hygienist seems unmoved by my pledge to have a Supercommittee recommend cuts to my Skittle consumption.
wawoodworth Stopping library ebook lending is clearly the work of the Danny Divito Penguin. The Burgess Meredith Penguin is far too classy for that.
heyrenees Listening to darkest French language tape. “He is going to fall. He is going to die.”
MrWordsWorth A Very Gaga Holiday involves her naked on a table asking people who wants to baste her.
Angel__Bee Apparently the crock pot – cousin of the coffee pot – also only works if you turn it on. Whatever. Outsmarted by my own appliances.
mochamomma When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s a vegetable according to Congress.
Angel__Bee Oh crock pot – our reunion is even sweeter than I imagined.
himissjulie @shinyinfo now I want to see a comic book style hero named FAN FICTION who goes around writing FAN FICTION.
thebleupills I need to go to the FBI’s page, just to make sure-but am beginning to wonder if my toddler is on their Most Wanted list. #Terrorist
markleggett Anne Geddes almost took my photo thirty years ago. She left to get a coffee and never came back. I’m cold and this flowerpot is too small 😦
UnicornFlavored If ghosts of my dead relatives exist, I wonder if they are watching me poop right now.
val_forrestal I only have 2 days of work this week. To make up for this, apparently everyone is trying to pack 5 days of aggravation into those 2 days.
InfiniteChicken What’s worse than herpes? Space herpes.
joeinverarity Seriously guys. Where did the gum that just fell out of my mouth while sitting at my desk go? This might turn out really bad.
sarcasmically The rule of thirds also states that if you make a cake that is nine inches tall, a third of those nine inches better be frosting.
shariv67 As you can imagine, Curious George did A LOT of experimentation in college.
emoryshatzer Read an article about Woody Allen’s son being named a Rhodes Scholar or watch a video of Woody Allen boxing a kangaroo? Oh, Twitter!
badbanana I’m growing facial hair all November long to raise awareness for how lazy I am.
theleanover Ever drink so much coffee you understand David Lynch’s short films?
rascality looks like they’ve started hanging sutras from signs at the local garage – this one says “alignment”
bebehblog In other road trip news, I taught my 2 year old to poop outside. Cross that off my life list.
sgnp Cold temperatures are my ally. The kids lasted a few minutes at the park. Inside with hot chocolate!
helgagrace Patron: “I printed out a 500 page book on how to save trees.” #sundaylibrarian
AaronFullerton Still haven’t been any of those places Dr. Seuss said I’d go.
himissjulie I love you, singing Klingon. #ds9
helgagrace I was looking for a cable and I found it under the cat.
sarcasmically There is a sick Toddlerface in our bed. This is like the exact opposite of what should be going on in a bed on a Saturday night.
apelad Free idea for google: type “deal with it” in the search bar, sunglasses descend on the “oo” in google. Can someone make this happen?
shanaeats “The difference between sultry and tired is fake eyelashes.” — @khamsin
apelad Grocery store self checkout lanes are mankind’s crowning achievement.
TristinaWright Me: no forest needs Dora. Stephen: maybe she’ll stay there and they’ll remove the cameras.
faultypancake If you’ve ever un-ironically referred to the band Ween as “the best band ever”, common ground is a flavor that we shall never taste.
NASeason Nap-Fighting Baby is my least favorite kind of Baby.
fierceflawless As of today, @clunkyrobot & I have been married for as long as kim kardashian was. I feel like this is an important milestone
fierceflawless What do you get your husband for your kardashiversary? A reality tv show pilot? We could do that.
thecorbettkid websites with music will always make me angry. always. #HULKSMASH
fuzzytypewriter Stockpiling Count Chocula before Disney puts it back in the vault. Let’s not kid ourselves. Disney is somehow behind this shit.
WhyIsDaddyCryin love those Oatmeal to Go square bar thingies bud damn they look like smashed cat shit
Angel__Bee @exlibris My husband says our house is like Hoarders: Yarn Edition
schmutzie This person standing next to me is the loudest gum chewer who ever lived, although not for much longer. #killkillkill
sarcasmically The cutest thing about having kids is the tiny laundry. The worst thing about having kids is also the tiny laundry.
rachel_nk also I just splashed in some puddles with my rainboots on. very therapeutic. highly recommend.
onenjen Potty-training kid tells me, “I want to poop in my pants ALL day.” And with that, I pour myself a stiff drink.
slackmistress I was once told I didn’t know how to write for dudes. Responded by writing a spec pilot that is 100% about touching boobs.
danforthfrance What I’m bringing to the family potluck Thanksgiving is patience and long smoke breaks outside.
slackmistress “Two heads are better than one.” -Serial Killer Needlepoint Sampler
ScreamingDanzig If one turkey ever wanted to murder another turkey and cover it up, this would be the time of year to do it
meganmonique My sister just messaged me and told me she broke up with her BF. I’m moving up on her priority list! #Score
steenyweeny despite all my rage i am still just a jenny at a softmoc.
markleggett If I die unexpectedly, I’m trusting you to clear out the “Charmed” box set from under my mattress before my dad finds it.
Toaster_Pastry I’m 497 followers from 1000. C’mon! Help a dude out.
AOAM_Librarian I’m so tired but I want froyo but I don’t wanna get up. My life sucks.
fuzzytypewriter POLL: Would you rather have A. a trained Megalosaurus that could launch out of your wrist watch OR B. Tusks
chopper4jk It’s so cute when a bad date thinks you’re ever coming back from the restroom.
shariv67 The uterus is like a magic lamp which contains a really cranky genie.
bebehblog The toddler ate my poop yogurt for dinner. I have a feel I might regret that decision.
LouisPeitzman Food babies are ideal if you hate real babies but love stretch marks.
joeinverarity It doesn’t have to be the Nobel Peace Prize. Any Nobel prize would do. I’m not picky.
apodixis Crowdsourcing question: does anyone know where the fuck I parked?
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
Little Big 