Follow Friday – Spring Break

I’m officially on Spring Break. We have big plans that include packing up our entire house while new (and much needed) carpet is installed.  I’m off to a crappy start on this vacation with a migraine and some Crohn’s issues but at least I have time off to recover.

Thanks for all your generous offers to help with guest post on the blog. Starting very soon I’m going to be collecting ten thousand text books, performing inventory on my whole collection, and shutting down the library for the very last time. I don’t have any help this year, either, so I plan to be pretty busy.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.

Squirreljustice I forget, are you allowed to wear clear lucite stripper heels before or after Easter? Don’t want anyone judging me at the pawn shop.

apelad If there are any architecture students out there looking for a thesis topic, here you go: couch forts.

TheRedQueen It is too fucking early for me to be seeing retweets from Michele Bachmann in my feed. It’s a good thing I haven eaten yet.

theRratedBull I’m sorry. Did you say you needed some freakin’ sex or some freaky sex? I mean, I can help you out either way, I just need clarification.

CatFoodBreath Just when I think I really can’t get any cuter, I do.

davepolak @AHGinCLE You can shop online? I thought it was just for porn.

Squirreljustice If the “Hot” sign is illuminated at Krispy Kreme, you can bet that my boobs are pressed up against the glass a la Midnight Express.

mommywantsvodka If he thinks this is bad, wait until I get to the STD lecture. Been preparing the No Glove, No Love powerpoint since he was a fetus.

telephase A cockroach the size of a corgi almost took down two teens today. They yelled for help, but I ran away. #oversharewednesday

hateyouprobably Does anyone else get what I call “toe boners”? I have one that’s lasted longer than 4 hours and I’m concerned.

ProfessorSnack A minivan is just like a full size van, without the sex.

wordlust I’m a hatcher. I know Obama hatched from an egg on Mars in a ceremony conducted by Xenu to appease Odin. Wake up, people!

aspaul Uh, do pigeons have orgasms? Because if they do, I’m pretty sure I just heard one.

HeathRobots Yesterday I saw a class krumping on the quad w/ a dude walking a tightrope right next to them. How can today even compete? I miss college.

Bagyants Can you believe our government spends more money than it has? BRB, applying for my 8th credit card.

markleggett Wow! I quickly lost 130 lbs by eating nothing but acai berries! (My wife left me due to my uncontrollable berry diarrhea).

alwysabridesmd Sarah Heard, you’re going down! Oh wait that sounds gross.

GeorgeTakei The House Intelligence Committee wins the prize for “Most Ironic Name.”

papersquared dinner: hot chocolate and wheat thins. don’t let anyone tell you being a librarian isn’t glamorous.

shinyinfo My next ALA presentation: Star Trek & Robot References in Tweets for High CTRs

iasshole Glee is making me defend OG Journey. Stupid Glee! Stupid Steve Perry! Stupid sexy Flanders!

my_summer_beard Have a Simply Red song stuck in my head. How many men in their twenties are saying that right now? Just one.

TheGlassPhoenix Panera wifi is like the friend who says they’ll help you with a class project, but totally stands you up when you actually call them.

shinyinfo Walking in on someone dancing to Toto’s “Africa” in your office is not attractive. And for that I apologize.

tysiscoe You’re so vain. You probably thought this tweet was about you.

telephase Just caught two teens in the Orange Alert stage of a PDA.

schmutzie According to the searches that bring up my blog, I should be writing about accidental public nudity and roasted nuts more often.

LouisPeitzman There is no surefire cure for depression, except maybe this video I saw of a baby penguin being tickled.

davepolak I learned that if you keep packets of hot sauce in your desk drawer for an extended period they dry up into a snort-able powder.

Mister_m00n You know what really chaps my ass? When it’s very cold out and I forget to put Chapstick® on it.

johnmoe Taking my daughter to see Annie tomorrow night. Don’t worry: I’ll be smoking cigars and drinking scotch throughout to preserve machismo.

MightyQuinn72 The Topeka Police dog cop said to save questions till the end. A hot mess blurted out a question & the dog attacked her. Or so I day dreamed.

eliza_evans I heard what I thought was an owl massacre on the roof. After a YouTube investigation, it turns out some squirrels were… making friends.

rilaws Blood your doors everyone, the Lord’s a’comin!

simontarr My wife just called my iPhone “your Palm Pilot.” I have nothing to add.

johnmoe Being a parent is magical. And it’s a giant pain in the ass. It’s giant magical ass pain.

badbanana Sometimes I don’t have the time to eat an entire chocolate bunny. Why don’t they just sell the ears?

shinyinfo Librarians would make good assassins. We are unassuming looking and we have deep, unfettered rage from working with the public/students.

todd_zwillich Hang on. I was told there was a Pulitzer for strongly-worded letter writing.

shinyinfo “We Didn’t Start The Fire” is my favorite song with a list of things.

badbanana Plenty of watched things boil, if you take enough medication. Wallpaper, for example.

AOAM_Librarian That patron I tweeted about before isn’t dead. Yay!

Athenabee I wish I could show you a video of what frantically finishing my city taxes looks like but there’s too much nudity.

Zaius13 Opinions are like assholes. I’m winking at you with mine.

Dolly_Parton I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade.

sglassmeyer If I could offer one piece of advice to newer librarians, it’d be to always have an emergency junk food stash in your office.

KathyRogers Being John Malkovich and Nothingness #philosophymovies

mjanssen Dude, Where’s My Cartesian Dualism? #philosophymovies

johnmoe Kant, Stop The Music #philosophymovies

shinyinfo As soon as I edit the APA citations I’ll be done with my final paper for my MLIS. I’m going to rip my shirt off & flip a table over.

Dogphorisms Fun fact: A dog’s mouth is the cleanest place in the world that has licked a dog’s butthole.

lifeserial Perspective is my trash can’s nickname. I love putting things into it!

mrpilkington I have to trek down to the DMV today. Preparing necessary items: flare gun, 63 packs of gum, and a zagnut bar. For bait.

ProfessorSnack 98% of all “cherry” trees are lying to you.

corrinrenee I was going to complain that I got too much sleep last night, but I decided that would be a jerk move.

bitchylibrarian Okay, this laundry isn’t going to do itself. Unfortunately. I even tried soft music and mood lighting.

crom74 You had me at @.

brattyunicorn To the 250 lb woman in the leopard print thong bikini & pink furry heels, you are one crazyass bitch & for this I salute you.

Squirreljustice It feels weird being home on a Saturday night. Not as weird as putting a Breathe Right strip on my taint, but still pretty weird.

BillCorbett I say I’m delightfully wicked, you say I’m an asshole. Agree to disagree! #youarewrong #MOM

slackmistress Women have to work twice as hard as men which is why we have two boobs.

loganfountain I’m going to open a fork store with high and low quality items.  It was the best of Tines. It was the worst of Tines.

danforthfrance Then Riker beams to the planet and Data scans… Oh. Sorry. Just wanted you to know what it sounds like to me when you go on about Prince.

mommywantsvodka “I put my box in a box?”

jberthume I’m drinking beer and forming strong opinions on things I just learned about. USA! USA!

kerrianne Had my iPhone plugged into a wall outlet, wondering why it wasn’t syncing with my computer. Annd, it’s nap time.

BridgetCallahan The problem with “soulmates” is if you are a selfish asshole, then your soulmate is a selfish asshole too.

jillgengler In Sam’s Club, no one can hear you scream.

TheNextMartha Shiny is important to me.

thejohnblog In Canada, I bet Hallmark makes a ton of money with their ‘Thank you for thanking me for the ‘Thank You’ card’ card.

JerryThomas Facebook’s business model is to make money exclusively from things that annoy people.

MrWordsWorth I busted a rhyme. I don’t think it will ever recover.

NickSchug Twitter has messed me up. Now when someone says something I like in real life, I gently place my hand on their face and whisper “favorite”.

rconniff Getting off plane in DC, saw Paul Ryan. Husbnd went up smiling, Intro’d self: ‘I’m gonna do everything I can to get you unelected.’ #wiunion

michaeljnelson Yes, I have my supporters in the wider hermit community. Though it is not well known. For some reason.

eareeve Stranger: “Hey, if some guy tries to steal my laptop…” Me: “I’ll punch him in the throat.” This is why I’m bad at meeting people.

onenjen You know you live with a 2-year-old when you find a half-eaten tortilla in your bed.

thejohnblog Please, “Asshole” was my father’s name. Call me John.

Gen_with_a_G The 4 year old boy just told the 34 year old man “Don’t get so frustrated. This takes practice.” My job here is done.

january_samurai My Chinese food came in a bento box from a 50s style diner where the first greeting was a evangelical sign about Easter.

Brain_Wash If you can’t do the math, do the math teacher.

 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.