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Thrifty Living: The Dress Up Chest

21 Nov

I am so excited to finally share this post with you. Building this dress up chest from thrifted and secondhand items has been so much fun, and once I tell you how cheap and easy it is to make, you are going to want to make one, too.

You don’t have to build a secondhand dress up chest, but I find that the best stuff, the cheapest stuff, and sometimes, the most realistic stuff, is found second hand. Additionally, the dress up chest helped me think of ways to repurpose items that I otherwise would donate or send to a landfill. And once my friends and family members heard about this dress up chest I was putting together they came forward with things from their closets to add to the bounty.

The best places to shop for dress up items that are new would be craft stores like Michael’s (they have hats, boas, and headbands), the dollar store (sometimes home to some pretty great finds) and the party supply store. Hear me out on that one! The party supply store has lies, hats, necklaces, sunglasses, and scarves,usually for really cheap. Pop-up Halloween costume stores are great, too–but skip the prepackaged costumes and go straight to the accessories. Wigs, hats, and gloves are a better investment than the costumes themselves, which won’t hold up to constant kid abuse.

Creating a kickass dress up chest is part of my life list, so I can consider this item mission accomplished.

(Poppy isn’t part of the dress up chest. She’s just acting as the showroom model. Thanks, Pops.)

By far, though, your best bet is to troll thrift stores and yard sales. Here are some of my favorite items from the chest:

This is something we call “the minky” because it just looks like a weird pile of brown fur if you can’t see how it’s used. It’s actually a large, wide scarf and it functions as a stole or a shawl. It looks and even feels like luxurious fur, but worry not, animal lovers: it’s actually a strange woven mohair-type yard that was knitted into shape. Strange. My Mom found it while thrifting and picked it up because she knew I was putting a dress up chest together.

My mom also found that black beaded purse and the white kitty hat secondhand and contributed the blue Heidi dress from her childhood as well. My Aunt Debbie added the pink-lined white stole plus these glasses.

The black ninja mask is actually a headsock that I saved from my one and only racing experience, and the gloves and mask were leftover from my Rogue costume and Anthony’s Nightwing costume. You might remember the witch hat from Target’s dollar bin, and the make up brushes we bought after having fun with our cousins. The necklaces were contributed by my mother-in-law, much to Zorro’s chagrin. You might remember the bunny ears? Coworkers gave us those. The wings were found while thrifting.

I saved the glasses from Yo Gabba Gabba Live and laminated them at work. They are still kicking! (Though admittedly a bit worse for wear.) We bought the giant magnifying glass when we visited the Children’s Museum and all the kids that come over just love it. What a great $3 purchase!  Isobel calls it her “Lookie Lookie”, but it usually comes out “Wookie Wookie!” Too cute.

That lanyard came from Anthony’s time at Borders. The cat key came from our very interesting time with the White Car. Long ago, before Isobel was even thought of, Anthony and I went on a date to an arcade where we won these Special Police badges and I kept them all this time.

This compass is one of my favorite finds. It’s real and it works and it’s satisfyingly larger than the palm of my hand, making the adventures we have with it extra-epic. It’s a thrift store find.

I bought this sparkle ball at Borders and later I found this stand while thrifting. I don’t know for sure that it’s for a crystal ball, but that was all I could think of when I looked at it.

Anthony found the bag with a moon on it while thrifting and thought it would make a great ‘magic pouch.’ This beaded clutch is one of Isobel’s favorite things, and also a thrift store score.

We also have a fantastic collection of thrifted dress up hats, which I’ll show you later, and besides that we’re adding to our collection all the time.  Whenever we have kids over to play they make a beeline for the dress up chest. It’s one of Kingston’s favorite things to do, and there’s nothing cuter than seeing the kids all dressed up. If you are thinking about giving this a go, I’d like to hearitly recommend it and would love to see pictures of what you find! Link back here in the comments so we can all see. Happy hunting!

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Scrapbook: Tea Time

4 Oct

Anthony was right.  Zorro and Poppy do love the jellyfish tent. Fortunately, they love it for more than just scratching and attacking. Sometimes they like to be civilized.

He kind of reminds me of Jabba the Hutt here. Surveying his domain.

 

“You guys don’t mind if my butt is in the frame, right? Great.”

I call this expression, “American Gothic if it were to take place in a jellyfish tent surrounded by a child’s tea set and enacted by animals.” You know, art.

Have I mentioned that Poppy is kind of a spaz?

She’s a cute spaz, at least.

Follow Friday – Subjecting You to Photos of My Cats

19 Aug

Yesterday Isobel and I were in the backyard playing her new favorite game: “beach.” It involves a large patch of sand and several buckets and plastic shovels. While we were digging, Jupey came over the fence with a fresh Barbie in his mouth. He ran to Isobel and dropped it at her feet.

“A dolly! Jupey brought me a dolly! Mommy, look!” she shrieked excitedly, picking it up.  “Thanks Jupey! I love you.”

It’s my Mom’s birthday today and she’s pretty much the a Cat Whisperer. Today, in her honor, I’m subjecting you to photos of my cats. Happy Birthday, Mom!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

wheelfreed Does farting count as tooting your own horn?

mindykaling Oh no. Every T-Pain song now seems like a parody to me.

apodixis I have tuna flavored laxative on my fingers, in case you were wondering.

sgnp I’m not losing horribly. I’m helping you have the best game ever!

louisvirtel This tweet may not seem like an awesome Madonna tribute, but I’m actually lip-syncing it and humping the floor.

twopretzels Craig taught Lila to say “dog balls.” Yup. Can’t really say much more than that. Dog balls.

CourtNeedsSleep I just don’t understand why we went with ‘Unicorn’ over ‘Unihorn’ that’s all

Greeblemonkey Season 2 Muppets is clearly the year Jim Henson started smoking weed. #muppetnight

danforthfrance I never found out if the girl in that movie got her grade changed. (It was porn.)

cbnickras Back in the old days, before health insurance, people just died young! We should just return to that magic golden age!

LouisPeitzman This guy’s OKCupid page says his ideal partner reads at least six hours a week. Does reading online dating profiles count?

stray @pcsweeney My unbridled hatred for Outlook is thicker than the richest pancake syrup.

freudiantypo Just once I’d like to get a prescription bottle with a warning label that says, “Take with plenty of beer.”

shariv67 Isn’t it cute how old people sign all of their online comments? Sincerely,
Shari

MakeMommyCoffee Clearly tired of me checking for new teeth Allie waited until I was vulnerable and plunged her whole hand into my mouth & laughed maniacally.

PlumeriaSprite Atypical cells are the enemy but atypical friends are really fun.

Hojimoto I shouldn’t have to ask for a *Chocolate* Frosty. In my day when you asked for a Frosty you got Chocolate and liked it!

massagebyted Yes, I do think you should fill the back of your truck with lettuce and old chairs before you take the craigslist “for sale” photo.

MagpieLibrarian Cat skirt, squirrel shirt, snoopy scarf, AliceWonderland necklace, RedRidingHood pin. I’m your fucking kid’s librarian. Let’s read some shit.

sarahmcdallen Such a lovely day. Kim & I discussed having a lie down on the grass, but she said, at our ages, people wld probably think we’d fallen down.

apelad How can it be 1:35 already? Oh right, time passing.

FuckItLibrarian This lady honked at me as I turned into the library. I told her to kiss my ass. No one honks at the librarian.

rstevens my kingdom for an easier to control kingdom with more serfs and better access to navigable bodies of water

MagpieLibrarian if you liked it, then you should have put all hold on it. #allthesinglelibrarians

InfiniteChicken …now if you’ll all just cover your eyes for a few seconds… #BadMagicTricks

thechrisleroux Ladies and gentlemen, I think we can all agree that this puppy is now dead… #BadMagicTricks

johnmoe Sawing a bagel in half #BadMagicTricks

sgnp The Miser’s Reach-Around #BadMagicTricks

InfiniteChicken Now moms, kids—you will notice I am not wearing any pants… #BadMagicTricks

jenstatsky “OMG sooo cute, did you see this YouTube video of Zooey Deschanel playing the piano?!” – Cats.

NotGaryBusey Crocs are just PT Cruisers for your feet.

badbanana Where Settlers Settled #NewNebraskaSlogan

badbanana America’s Vast, Pasty Midsection #NewNebraskaSlogan

badbanana That Smell is Iowa #NewNebraskaSlogan

fierceflawless My constant inner monologue while watching tv: “these people are assholes.”

PMuffintop Day 2 of Kindergarten and my child has already asked me what “shitballs” means. Hooray!

muffpunch You know it’s a good day when you’ve used the phrase “you’re more than welcome to fire me.”

slackmistress It doesn’t matter where I work, I’m always the one who has to explain what Furries are.

LPCookbook Someone in the hallway is kerfuffled because they do not know how to use the watercooler. JUST PRESS THE BUTTON THAT SAYS “WATER.”

slackmistress “You’re a good neighbor..like a State Farm rep I get to sleep with. ” – @BeTheBoy to me

giromide Take these broken wings. They’ve been sittin’ in the basement for, like, two years. Shake ’em first. Might be some damn earwigs in ’em.

EvenMoreSarah Dear God I just got a Google ad for flushable dog poop bags called Flush Puppies. Now I kind of want to disable my OWN account.

maggiesox I am beginning to resent every email in my inbox that doesn’t come from Pottermore. I just cursed out an email from my mom.

BridgetCallahan I resent almost all of you for almost everything – my acceptance speech.

jephkelley Flying next week and already know which section of SkyMall I’m flipping to first. The Pendant of Arwen Evenstar is as good as mine.

ClevelandPoet There’s a statue of a priest guy sticking his fists out in my gallery. Every time I pass by I have to urge to fist bump him. #GotMadRespect

thecheckoutgirl Just washed down my birth control pill with french fries, essentially doubling the effect.

chickenscottpie I’m suffering from Michele Bachmann overload. Can we all just agree she’s an embarrassment to humanity and then never talk about her again?

batsly I hate to brag, but I’m really fuckin’ good at it.

wheatnik Instead of writing books, I tweet, because I am horrible at stringing sentences together in a coherent manner. I love chocolate pudding.

jszyd How does a shepherd keep track of how many sheep he has without falling asleep?

heyrenees The state of everything makes one thing crystal clear: we picked the wrong time to cancel the space program.

EliBraden Actually ‘B’ isn’t a number. RT @KimKardashian: How many people u know can take it this far? B

mrpilkington Who wants to watch antiques roadshow?! I’ve got 137 hours saved on the DVR. You’ll probably never hear from me again.

rstevens I don’t need to get enough rest if I just keep raising my Sleep Debt Ceiling.

danforthfrance Told Grandma how to order the Internet and asked her to call me back to tell me how it went. Chain smoking like Apollo 13 Mission Control.

TheSuniverse I have a cut on the tip of my middle finger. Damn. That finger gets the most work.

revtrev Actual Sign: “In case of fire, exit building before tweeting about it.”

guiltysquid I’m letting my children vacuum. The mama bear in me is wanting to run and grab my precious in a protective fashion. Oh, my poor Dyson.

Ahm76 When couples introduce me to their infant, all I hear is “look what we built using only our private genitals!”

jszyd “Holy shit!” – Guy who walked into the stall immediately following Jesus.

Cre8BeautyDaily No, YOU just lied to your 3 yr old niece & told her that the sea salt caramel you just ate was special vitamins for pregnant ladies.

KeepingYouAwake That there is a soda called Squirt is just hilarious to me. Honestly, just try not to laugh with a mouthful of Squirt.

dantelfer I wish a museum would hire me to wander around and yell at everything.

luckyshirt After the Flood, God made a rainbow as a promise He would never kill us all again. But later He got all mad at us again and made celery.

Shedletsky A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.

luckyshirt “This feels so amazing. You are so terrible at this. I am in heaven. I want to kill you. That’s perfect. You’re an idiot.” -a cat being pet

ecsuperhero Old man Shane received his first ever jury duty notice and just tried to throw it in the trash. Aw, my baby daddy wants to go to jail.

thejohnblog I don’t believe in cruelty to animals, so I lied and told my dog his butt looked great in the jeans I put on him.

guiltysquid Answer your phone in public with, “Where in the hell is my monkey??” and people act like you’re odd.

smileydooby So few racists ever take the time to get to know me. They’d still end up hating me but you know, later.

Filmdrunk Jesus Christ, iTunes, I just wanted to buy an album, but I’ll have my lawyer take a look at this agreement and get back to you.

zombiesitcom I don’t care how much your bridesmaid dress cost, you still look like Grover. #ThingsIShouldFacebook

Athenabee @exlibris I’m a Jupey groupie.

steenyweeny i don’t care what any of you say, growing out your bangs is the single most awkward stage of life.

trollprincess Dear rest of the world: If Bachmann gets nominated, please invade. We’ve clearly had an accident and are unable to care for ourselves.

TheNextMartha At a restaurant that advertises “Shrimp 5 ways.” All 5 ways are fried.

ispinyarn Damn autopilot led me around 3 sides of a large square. It is so fired.

pourmecoffee  To actually vote, Iowans go on stage and the John Deere Sorting Hat announces their choice.

TheRedQueen Well my genius appointment was 20 mins ago and I am still waiting. Genius a little faster guys.

amandaha I did the walk of shame back to my old hair stylist with June’s awful uneven cut. That’s what “walk of shame” means, right?

arcasmically @exlibris marinating chicken. LIKE A SAUCE.

morninggloria Every time I read about a drunk man in his 30’s falling into the river or something equally dumb, I wonder if it’s one of my ex boyfriends.

johnmoe Hey now! Your a monster! Put some pants on! Go play! Wait now! Here’s a lobster! Call your friend’s mom! No way! #SMASHEDMOUTH

apodixis I’m convinced that typing in all caps is a sign of some kind of learning disability.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

My SAHM Confessions

27 Jul

This is what my workspace looks like on any given day. He’s been doing this forever, and it’s kind of surprising my computer’s never exploded from the extra heat. Or the pressure.  Quite often Poppy likes to join us and annoyingly sit between my head and the computer monitor. Add to this the fact that Isobel is on my lap if I’m here and she’s awake (and sometimes even if she’s asleep–note below), and it makes for a full house.

Recently, I wrote about the SAHM gig and how it’s treating me. I wrote about our schedule and the logistics of staying at home, and I briefly touched on my deepening bond with Isobel. It’s been a few months now since I’ve left the library, and writing that post has made me think about how I’m different and the things I have learned.  I realized I have some confessions to make.

This is probably going to sound very obvious, but it wasn’t at all clear to me until I left my job and had some distance. You know what? I did not at all enjoy being a mother who worked outside the home. I loved my job and I loved working–until I had Isobel. Then my job just became another item to cross off on my list of unpleasant tasks. It became a never-ending chore.

There’s a lot of talk pitting moms who stay at home versus moms who have careers–parenting is fertile grounds for self-righteous one-upmanship– and as someone who has done both I can unequivocally tell you that there is little difference in my actual parenting. I was a fantastic working mother and I am still a fantastic stay at home mother. The vast difference between these two scenarios is that in this one I’m happy.

Staying at home doesn’t make me a good parent. I was a good parent before. I was a great parent, even. But I am an even better mother now because I’m happy.

I know incredible mothers who work outside the home because they have no choice, and I know some wonderful mothers who choose to work outside the home  for the same reason I chose to leave the library: happiness and personal fulfillment. I have no doubt that those working moms are just as capable, caring and wonderful as those who are able to stay at home. It was the right decision for me, but it isn’t right for everyone.

This new surge of happiness and well-being makes sense on a physical level. I try not to bore you guys by bringing this up repeatedly, but I have Crohn’s disease, and my health is rather delicate. Now that I’m home all day I can rest when I need to,  eat what I need to when I need to, and get sick if I need to. And that is okay! My new boss doesn’t care! Working at home has significantly relieved the stress on my body and my new routine agrees with it greatly. This alone has made a huge difference in my quality of life.

Aside from the realization that I really didn’t enjoy being a working mother, I’ve realized another thing about myself, too. One that’s almost embarrassing to share with you because it’s such a cliché: I have learned to savor the moment and to truly embrace my current limitations. As weird as it sounds, experiencing  PPD and all those struggles I went through really helped me realize this. I had internal levels of perfection that I would demand of myself, and I didn’t dare stray from those expectations.

Once I had Isobel and PPD kicked in, I had no choice but to let things go.  I found out it wasn’t the end of the world if I didn’t keep on top of the (non-diaper) laundry every day. Dirty dishes could sit in the sink and without blowing up. I could go weeks without vacuuming and the world still turned. Sure, all of this was a symptom of my illness, but I have come out of this experience a much mellower mama. I no longer strive for perfection–I strive for happiness.

So much of my former mindset was really counting on Things Being Perfect One Day. I’m no longer waiting till things are perfect. I’m letting go. And I’m realizing which things are worth holding on to.

His & Her Terrariums

21 Jul

I’m not going to keep everybody in suspense… the winner of last week’s Vintage Terrarium book giveaway is…  laurenarnsman! Congratulations! Email me your address so I can send you this terrarium book goodness.

Recently I made two more terrariums. One for my friend Justin’s birthday, and another much smaller one, for his wife Angela’s desk at work. I haven’t seen her desk, but I can just tell it needs some pimping.

The one is Angela’s. It’s petite and adorable. It’s next to a jam jar to show scale. It’s pretty small, making it perfect for a cramped office desk.

I apparently can’t take any photo of a terrarium these days without one of my cats photobombing it. Thanks, Poppy.

"Don't mention it, asshole!"

This larger one is Justin’s, and since it was his birthday, I added a moose figurine. Or maybe it’s an elk. I don’t really know.

This terrarium is the typical goldfish bowl variety.

It was really fun to make. Terrariums are just a lot of fun in general.

I guess Jupiter was feeling left out.

Little Big Links: Shapeshifters and Magicians

20 Jul

Before I get to all the link goodness, I need to tell you a story.

One day last week, I woke up and let Jupiter in after his long night of carousing through the neighborhood and murdering things. He wasn’t wearing his green collar. He was wearing a blue collar, the collar he had previously lost somewhere outside last March. Almost immediately after we made the decision for Jupiter to be an indoor-outdoor kitty he had last the fancy Etsy collar we gave him.

After Jupiter lost the blue collar, he became proficient in murdering small helpless animals, and decapitated lizards and fatally wounded birds started showing up on our doorstep in an alarming number. Anthony and I realized that for the sake of nature we needed to put a ring on it–or more specifically, we needed to give Jupiter a new collar that had a bell.

That day Jupiter wandered in the house as if nothing was wrong, as if he wasn’t wearing a collar that had just disappeared off the face of the Earth several months ago, new collar nowhere to be found. When Anthony woke up I told him I had a story for him, and I alerted him to the fact that our cat was most likely haunted That’s when I found out Anthony had a story for me.

The night before Anthony had been playing in the yard with Isobel while I took a shower and used the bathroom in peace. While they were playing, Jupiter appeared on the fence. He was mysteriously without collar. There was something in his mouth.

The blue collar.

Thoroughly confused, Anthony took the blue collar from Jupiter’s mouth and fastened it around his collarless neck.

WHAT.

The story only gets weirder. Two days ago I found the green collar. Jupiter had carefully placed it on our doormat. I mean, I’m guessing Jupiter put it there, since that’s where he leaves all the headless lizards for us.

********************

How the holy hell he came to be wearing this collar again after months and months of its disappearance baffled me. I mean, sure, this is the cat that eats paint chips, ran through the house with a turkey gizzard in his mouth at Thanksgiving, and takes a pacifier every now and then, but still. This is weird, even for him.

But how about some links, shall we?

First of all, the awesome collar Jupiter initially lost was Zorro’s, but we transferred it to Jupiter since it seemed to fit his personality better. Also you couldn’t see the awesome star with all Zorro’s fluff. You can find that collar here made by Etsy seller Miss Moustache. Her collars are all adorable and of impeccable quality and soon she’ll be offering engraving on their tags, too.

We ordered Poppy’s collar here from Etsy seller minihundpets. It is also of fantastic quality and the seller is super nice. I adore the strawberry print on Poppy’s collar! Unfortunately, Poppy hates the bell. I mean, she tolerates it better now that she’s worn it awhile, but my god that cat wanted to murder me when I first put it on her.

Last but never least is Zorro. He needed a new collar, too, since that whippersnapper Jupiter took off with his old one. I ordered this gorgeous sparkly turquoise collar from Etsy seller SecretCatLounge. Even though they are based in Australia the collar came very quickly, and packaged adorably, too.

The sparkles are very subtle, but they are there. Again, wonderful quality. I picked out this lime green bell for a dollar more and couldn’t be happier with how it looks on Zorro.

My Mom did his colors--he's a Spring!

Some other fun cat links:

Cats. Where they do not belong. (via @shinyinfo)

Crafting with Cat Hair. I used to joke about making a sweater out of Zorro fur. I was just a joke I swear.

A List of Non-toxic Houseplants. Also good to know if you have kids.

The Best Drift Cats. After porn, the internet was made for cat videos.

The Best Scratching Post Ever. I’m hoping I can convince Anthony we need this.

Legwarmers for Your Cat. You’ve already knitted a sweater out of cat fur. You may as well go all the way.

get it off get it off get it off

Photos: Playdate

27 Apr

Follow Friday – Solo Parenting Edition

21 Jan

I’ve successfully accomplished week one of solo parenting. Only one more week to go!

(P.S., that sound you hear is me sobbing into a pillow.)

Tonight just might require sushi.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.

GailSimone No one really sucks until they Seacrestfully suck.

Brain_Wash As far as I can tell, cats are a secretive race of highly skilled pimps.

StephenAtHome Turns out the cast of Hair should have been singing “The Dawning of the Age of Capricorn.”

PinkPeonies Happiness is warm cat purring on your lap.

DamienFahey Going to start flushing the toilet on conference calls from now on. Let them try and figure it out.

peterbyrnes In Los Angeles, car alarms are only useful to inform you in unison that yes, that was an earthquake.

DaveHolmes Randy Jackson just said “It’s gonna be weird sitting at that table thinking WOW- it’s a different table!” Difficult to dispute.

sucittaM It’s cute that Amazon sends me Valentine’s Day gift ideas, as if my wife expects more than just dinner and homemade sex coupons.

chickenscottpie I feel like I sound like the village idiot when I leave voicemail. Like I’d be more eloquent if I just screamed “Calling! Telephone!”

WhyIsDaddyCryin I feel pretty confident that I’m pregnant.

MrWordsWorth ‘I went to ancestry.com, and soon, I was chatting up sexy ancestors from my family tree!’ Ad concepts gone horribly wrong.

strnglibrarian “DICK” is yelled on the other side of the room. Then I realize someone is talking to Richard who is hard of hearing.

Lilacmess Working on a powerpoint about American cultural myths for my class and using Justin Bieber as a rhetorical punching bag #FTW

trelvix A telemarketer just called and asked for my cat. He didn’t use those exact words but that’s what he meant. Cat’s like, “Dude. Stop calling.”

trelvix “Hello. May I speak to Ivy, please?”  You want to talk to my cat? Okay. Just a second. Pinch it off, Ivy! Phone!

 

someecards Using ‘Force Quit’ makes me feel like a jedi knight.

SimonNRicketts I haven’t got a Nintendo Wii. I just turn on Fox News and throw punches at the telly from 10 feet away. Cheaper version. Knackered now.

Tweetin4Palin Everyone start likin’ me again & talk about how pretty & feisty I am or I’m holdin’ my breath til my Bumpit explodes.

LisaMcIntire Leave France alone! RT @kanyewest: Just saw on MSNBC they said I tried to start a twitter war with Brittany.

AndyCronin Twitter= I need to pee. Facebook= I peed! Foursquare= I’m peeing here. Quora= Why am I peeing? Youtube= Watch this pee! LinkedIn= I pee well

Bagyants If they couldn’t handle Ricky Gervais I hope these douchebags never find twitter.

DamienFahey I’m excellent at guessing which people entering CVS are headed to the “Stuff for Your Butt” aisle.

wishing4horses The kids just left to go have lunch out. I sighed at the sudden quite. PS, I have a backhoe running in my backyard.

theRratedBull My wife just opened the blinds. This shit just got real.


Jesus_M_Christ I mean, sure I’ll take the wheel, but I’m kinda drunk.

louispeitzman If I don’t reply to your message, it’s because my assistant is on vacation. Just kidding! I never let my assistant take vacations.

shinyinfo I just paid off some library fines, I feel clean again.

Brain_Wash When they stand together, Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez, and Randy Jackson look kind of like the worst Twilight sequel ever.

TheRedQueen Wearing these boots was maybe a mistake. But I look cute, so not a total loss.

 

thebenbrooks I love when Sarah Palin speaks her mind, it’s like half a haiku.

CMastication Anything worth doing is worth doing to a compulsive level of excess which causes your spouse to question your sanity.

ScrewyDecimal Lots of friends are talking about the Jets today. It’s nice to see that so many people still enjoy West Side Story.

thebookmaven Necessity is the mother of the download.

tommycm I am watching the football like a proper lad. I shouted ‘tits’ at the television.

Dalevich Country music. Because no matter how bad life gets, it can always get worse with a bit of effort.

foldinglaundry PSA: hair bows should never be larger than the child’s head. EVER.

sucittaM The fact that the self-checkout computer doesn’t say “This shit is bananas” when scanning bananas seems like a wasted opportunity.

al3x I’m going to start sneaking the phrase “the most sophisticated cyberweapon ever deployed” into the READMEs for everything I write.

squeekzoid The tag on my new pants says KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE in big red letters. Aww damn, now what am I gonna wear to hell?

colsonwhitehead My life coach just told me he’s not a life coach. He just “went along with it” that day I started talking to him.

God_Damn_Batman You either die a hero or you live long enough to see your sidekick come home with a Justin Bieber haircut.

Just_PYKA Even after I told him I was gonna hit the sack, he lay there on the floor moaning in pain, as if he didn’t see it coming.

MrWordsWorth If your avatar is a sack with a dollar sign, and you aren’t Teenage Fanclub or Snidely Whiplash, I am blocking you.

inversejaik Wasn’t aware about Kate Middleton’s modeling work. If enough royals die in a timely matter, she’ll become the UK’s first modern QuILF.

badbanana I’ve developed positive feelings towards my captors. Love you, couch and Cheetos.

pistolval The inevitable collapse of society is probably not a great retirement plan, but its all I have.

louisvirtel My sign changed and now I’m Prince.

gabedelahaye Starting a clothing line for nerds called All Fear.

amazingsoup disappointed that markie.biz is not biz markie’s website. you. you don’t got what i need.

swamibooba I’m keeping warm by shoulder popping and twirling. But no jazz hands, those make me overheat.

Ch8rming Planning for the zombie apocalypse is the new planning for retirement.


 

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Learn more about it in my FAQ.


Follow Friday – The Best of 2010

10 Jan

I’m severely late for any meme-type year end posts. I have no excuse for this. Each year I look forward to the year-in-review posts from my favorite blogs, the photo videos, the questionnaires. This is the first year I’ve had a blog, and yet I eagerly awaited others’ end of the year posts with no thought of my own. By the time I realized that this was something I should participate in, too, well, Christmas had been put away and everyone moved on.

I did manage to cobble together a year-end photo set of some of my favorite photos from 2010, and it is available on my flickr. While I was putting it together I decided that my yearly tradition will be a giant Follow Friday wrap-up with some of my favorite pictures. In this 2010 edition, I’m including the Tweets of the Week and some of my very, very favorite tweets. Most of these tweets I still think about and appreciate from time to time, and many of them made an impression on me.

I should also mention that I’ve been nominated for a Shorty Award in the Social Media category for my Follow Friday posts. I have a very specific goal in mind for this contest, and it’s not so much to win (because, let’s face it, that’s not happening) but I just want to beat the dude with the Bieber avatar. (We’re currently tied.) If you could take a moment to vote, I’d be grateful.

And now, please enjoy the very best tweets 2010 has to offer.

Year In Pictures: 2010 Photo Set

neiltyson Alas, Isaac Newton died a virgin. A fact offered without further comment.

badbanana Can’t help but think a new British government would have been formed by now if Dumbledore was still alive.

LaurelKS Major props to my intelligent auto complete for making my drunk tweets possible.

feministhulk: HULK STRIVE TO RESPECT RIGHT TO SELF-IDENTIFY, BUT HULK COMPASSION STRAIN AND BREAK UNDER WEIGHT OF SARAH PALIN’S BULLSHIT

sween One does not simply walk into Mordor. It’s a gradual slide. Life choices mount up and then one day you look around and realize, “Huh. Orcs.”

juliasegal When bees see something that is awesome, I wonder if they think, “That’s just like my knees!”

apelad The new iphone contains a tiny beating heart, so at last it can love you back

michaeljnelson Just discovered that vuvuzelas sound AMAZING in a crowded elevator!

mathowie If I ate at a Cracker Barrel, I’d get tons more stand-up jokes. Like when I watched the Godfather triology and The Simpsons made sense.

JerryThomas I was so angry about the state of the world I picked up my guitar and wrote this song. LOLJK I sucker punched a guy on the Metro.

shinyinfo MC Hammer should be knighted or something. Or whatever we do over here, name a sandwich after him.

CorporateMonkey Whether or not I allow you to move into my lane on the beltway is directly related to your political party affiliated bumper sticker. #DC

misternaxal I might buy a house in the Fall. A house complete with a workshop, lathes, a band saw, and a hand mill! I shall call it Isengard.

FakeAPStylebook “Taco” has of late taken on a sexual connotation. When referring to the Tex-Mex food dish, instead use “Hot, Meat-Filled Tortilla Vagina.”

palinode A dream is a wish your boss eats.

mrpilkington Where the hell is this UPS guy. Can I get a 4 square update from him? “location: six flags. Mayor.”

hellobigfoot camping cooler strange mix between oyster and piñata.

bookgirlsb Unsurprisingly, the baby does not respond to my command of “roll over!” any better today than yesterday.

ApocalypseHow Vatican declares ordaining women to be morally comparable to pedophilia. So that means they’re going to do it!!!

louispeitzman Why do children scream so much? I’m consistently horrified by life. I hardly ever scream.

Lord_Voldemort7: Saw a girl wearing an “It’s Bieber’s world & we all just live in it” shirt. Needless to say, she no longer lives in it.

Zaius13 Dropping the cats off at the pool. (We don’t have kids)

louisvirtel Who can ever replace Ellen on “Idol”? It’s really a toss-up between amplifier feedback and grim Chekhovian silence.

capricecrane Snooki says she’s only read two books. Actually, she answered the question by tapping her hoof twice on the floor.

mrpilkington Saying the word “pecan” both ways over and over again. Kind of creeping out coworker. Its okay. I’m a trained professional. Pecan.

Zaius13 Whenever guys suggest I check out a woman’s ass, I nod my head and say “Aw, yeah. I’d wipe that.”

IMayBeNaked Bieber is writing an autobiography? Chap 1) From the fallopian tube to the uterus. Ch 2) Through the birth canal. Ch 3) Gerber: Stages 1-4

SarrahPalinU5A Hot day today. Is it just my imagination, or is the world getting warmer on average?

PROMO_TWEET SOME FUCKING CHIPS: THEY’RE DELICIOUS OR WHATEVER

trelvix Cat was like, “I’ve been trying to call you all day. 88888888888888888888888888884. That’s you, right?”

NathanFillion Had a guy approach me on street. All he did was nod and say, “Captain.” That’s all he needed to say.

lafix Nephew: What’s a nooner? Me: Uh…lunch. Nephew: I need to thank mom for the delicious nooner. Me: Wait until her mouth is full.

PROMO_TWEET THE TEA PARTY IS HORRIFIED THAT “PROJECT RUNWAY” WOULD WORK WITH MUSLIN SO CLOSE TO GROUND ZERO

blainecapatch ed hardy shoes make your feet look like dicks.

sucittaM Drunk on about 7 bottles of wine because What Would Jesus Drink? AMIRITE?! UP TOP DRUNK JESUS!

apelad Facebook is a big party where the host is in a back room going through all the coats.

louispeitzman If I had a daughter, I’d name her after a flower. But something unique, like Bladderwort.

stray If current intellectual property trends continue, by 2045 the only non-trademarked word will be “zesticles”.

lowcardigan I’m excited to see what Twain’s new autobiography has to say about the time he saved Data and Picard from the shapeshifting aliens.

BackpackingDad As far as uninspiring car names go the Mazda “Protege” is second only to the Honda “n00b”.

danforthfrance Too much coffee means frantically singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes” until the crying starts.

hurtling I’m hungover and piecing together the details of last night one by one. So far I’ve confirmed that I didn’t eat any asparagus.

val_forrestal When I die, I want someone to take over my twitter account. I’d like to be the Dread Pirate Roberts of twitter.

FakeeEtiquette If a Facebook friend announces some bad news in an update, it is polite to like that status to cheer him/her up.

badbanana Daughter’s soccer season starts today. I don’t have a vuvuzela so I’ll be taking my trombone.

BackpackingDad About to meet my mom’s boyfriend. Will try to refrain from shouting “She only loves me!!!!!” at him. I’m 33.

PROMO_TWEET PIRANHA 3D: BECAUSE THE STUDIO WOULDN’T LET US CALL IT “FISH N’ TITS”

stevelibrarian Glenn Beck shows that every good Tea Party needs a Mad Hatter.

inversejaik My car is become Shiva, destroyer of butterflies

danharmon Converting to Intelligent Design because I see God in nature. Now worshipping nature. Fuck. Okay, burning self at stake.

ThatKansasLady In my day zombies didn’t run, they walked. Uphill, in the snow. They ate what brains they could find, & they liked it.

PROMO_TWEET THE WEEKEND: BECAUSE FUCK THIS WEEK. FUCK IT IN ITS EARS. YOU HEAR ME, THIS WEEK? OH, RIGHT. YOUR EARS ARE FULL OF DICKS.

English50cent I’m serious. I will have you murdered.

owlpacino it should be a law that artificial lighting can only be so bright. “soft light is calming and better for the eyes”, probably says doctors.

Phineas Fashion Report! This fall is going to be plaid like a motherfucker.

nicpiper When my grandchildren ask “Why is Britain ‘Great’ grandad?” I shall point my withered finger toward Wallace and Gromit and say “those two”.

DamienFahey If Meg Whitman loses will she have to go back to being the guy on the Quaker Oats box?

thejohnblog Email from family: “Bored while Facebook is down. Don’t you have a blog and one of those Twitters?” FACEBOOK! RIGHT THAT SHIP, PEOPLE! NOW!

dughall Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

JerryThomas The very best puns always end with somebody dying.

CMastication “I can hardly check email because Bittorrent has totally saturated my bandwidth.” #talkLikeAPirate

librarianearp Dammit Jim, I’m a sexy doctor, not a sexy scientist!

English50cent I enjoy blowing up poos. I have the ability to be an adult-film actor. I am having a cerebrovascular accident.

Bagyants She told me she was a social butterface. What? Butterfly? I like the other way better.

yowhatsthehaps You can’t just stand on the sidewalk and hold the Little Caesar’s sign, lady. You gotta put your back into it..

louisvirtel My fave Barnes & Noble section is “Christian Inspiration.” I’m learning how to make a chic ascot out of this tattered old dogma!

apelad It’s been great getting to know all the new neighbors and finding out what the names of their wireless networks mean.

saraschaefer1 When the voice in my head tells me I’m not a beautiful snowflake I try to imagine it’s the voice of Brad Pitt. Total hotty up in my brain!

louispeitzman I find it hard to believe that something as awesome-sounding as fantasy football only allows you to draft humans.

zombiesitcom The saddest instrument is the clarinet. I think his mom died.

TheBloggess Just discovered a blog plagiarizing a post I wrote about being plagiarized. This is how wormholes get started, people.

jezebelsadie The real question is not why I have a “Gnomes” category in my Google Reader feed, but why new items appear daily.

smileydooby Geez I look down at my phone to play ONE game and now everyone is going the wrong way on the highway! Learn how to drive and quit honking!

OngoingBS Do you know we lose 100,000 brain cells a day? Mainly to immigrant workers! #glenbecktweet

midwestgrrl My mom still has a hard time with texting. They’re on vacation at the beach & she just texted YAY WE ARE ON THE BEE

apelad My ears are burning. Is one of you talking about me? Also my nose is tingling. Is one of you recreating my aroma?

Jesus_M_Christ Oh, that’s cute Lord Voldemort thinks our resurrections were similar. I’m sure coming back after a baby kills you is super tough.

rrrobbed I don’t know what is up with the follower count, but I’m suddenly feeling very liberated. No followers to offend! Here I go! … BUTTS!

danforthfrance Got hit on today by a sexy Jehovah’s Witness lady. Wait. Aw, man… This is Jesus’ phone number.

JerryThomas My favorite Peanuts cartoon is the one where Linus is waiting for the Great Pumpkin and Godot shows up.

Sigafoos Scam at a French Star Trek 2 gathering: Cannes Khan Con Con. #whydoihaveanyfollowersatall

thinkBIG_blog “The problem with quotes on Twitter is that you can’t always be sure of their authenticity.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

BadAstronomer Had to type the word “gauze” for a post going up tomorrow. The word looks wrong no matter how I spell it. Gauze. Gawz. Gouze. Snooki.

SquiggleJay didn’t have time to get coffee or breakfast, so it’s a pretty safe bet someone’s getting beaten to death with a 3-hole-punch.

gabedelahaye This 65th wedding anniversary is about to get REAL hyphy.

shinyinfo Librarians need to declare Martial Law on Yahoo Answers.

sween As Winston Churchill once said, “Wait a minute — I never said this.”

jszyd I’m not saying your great, great, grandma was a gold digger, but she did move out to California in the late 1840′s.

adamisacson I try to savor every bit of this magical part of the evening between when my kid finally falls asleep and when I f

peterbyrnes TSA guards don’t like it when you bite your lower lip during the patdown and lean into it.

DadsAwake Before we make a radical decision at the last minute, maybe we should consider the people who have to do the work. Said no executive ever.

KeepingYouAwake Just had an idea for time-travel, then I arrived in a cowboy outfit and black eye and talked myself out of it.

unschool Teen to his brother: “We are so close, we can even finish each others’…” His brother: “…sandwiches.”

davidlubar If you have any friends who think the earth is 6,000 years old, remember to warn them that voting is a sin.

Tweetin4Palin Can’t wait 2 see if my candidates won cause I’m influency or lost cause I’m persecuted by media bastards. Either way, hellooo TV talkin’!

TheRedQueen Twitter is mostly my outlet for complaining. It’s cheaper than therapy.

pistolval my humble modesty is just one of my many, many great qualities.

CanuckMackem My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.

apodixis My safe word is “The goddamn cats are on the bed.”

danforthfrance Stranger heard me say “Go on without me! I’m done for!” to myself when I missed the crosswalk to tie my shoe.

jasonmustian Has anyone reminded Flava-Flav to turn his necklaces back an hour?

pealmart Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

pnkrcklibrarian Men de-pant. Women de-tight.

wawoodworth Beer: HELLO ANDY. Andy: Hello beer! BEER: DRINK ME. Andy: As you wish! BEER: THEN BLOG. Andy: Wait, what? BEER: I SAID DRINK ME. Andy: Ok!

3x About to use a neti pot. Or as I call it, hippie waterboarding.

chickenscottpie This cold progressed very rapidly: from “Hmm. Am I getting sick?” yesterday, to “I think I’m dying” today. Tell your mom I loved her best.

squeekzoid Shall I compare thee to a summers’ day?/You are not as hot./…That came out wrong/Wait, come back, I’m sorry! #wanepoetic

iasshole I love that no matter how batshit someone is, they can still take the Kleenex boxes off their hands & judge you on the internet.

zombiesitcom She said “I love you.” And his heart jizzed a little. #TheAwesomestRomanceNovelEver

danforthfrance My stages of drunkenness: 1. Hello. 2. Chatty. 3. Rants about historical popes 4. Talking in Maggie Smith’s “Miss Jean Brodie” voice.

thejohnblog I want to make this Chipotle burrito a sister wife.

BridgetCallahan Dear girls around the world: Please stop using the word fierce unless you have actually killed someone.

DamienFahey When I’m laying in my casket, I’d be okay with you guys picking up my arms, moving them around and doing impressions of me.

bobpowers1 Why doesn’t Netflix Watch Instantly have a category called “Are You Drunk Right Now?”

liussharpe Revenge plan: 1. Buy a bird a car 2. Shit on it

DarbySmash If you don’t have kids, don’t give parenting advice. You sound like an idiot.

michaeljnelson Bella and Jacob are among the top baby names this year. As were Harpo, Mustache Dad, and Clown-headed Vampire Chick. Emmett, not so much.


apodixis I would have thought all ponies were one-trick ponies. I mean who goes back to a pony for a second blow job?

PopCulLibrn Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. When the Internet delivers that, then I’ll be impressed.

ApocalypseHow This Saturday is the Video Game Awards. Paparazzi plan to ask, “What food are you wearing?”

yowhatsthehaps I’m doing just fine with one less blogging platform. I just narrate all my activities to a small dog. When she barks it’s like a heart!

dejah_thoris Cop spots a woman knitting & driving. He pulls beside her & shouts “Pull over!” She shouts back, “No, it’s only a scarf!” #knitting

StephenAtHome Now I only have to interview Chevy Chase and I’ll have pulled off the coveted Triple Amigo.

TheNextMartha I’ve downgraded my xmas from the Martha Stewart level to the Woman’s Day level.

L0NZE I was trying to explain the concept of Twitter to my wife. She said, “I don’t follow you.”

TheOnion Census Finds Enough Homeless People Living In Public Library To Warrant Congressional District

davepolak If I’ve learned one thing on the twitterz this year it’s that dead hipsters like coconut. And the rest of you can fuck off.

swamibooba I suspect my appreciation of jazz was ruined by the SimCity soundtrack. It all sounds like I need to build more police stations.

Zaius13 If I didn’t wear socks with my sandals, everyone would be able to see my gross ankles through these assless denim stirrup pants.

thejohnblog Quality assurance is recording phone calls at work today, so while my line rings, I whisper “where are you mommy?” in a ghost child voice.

robkroese Boss just walked by and said, “You still work here?” Probably not a good sign.

LisaMcIntire My name is Lisa. I’m a grown-ass woman, and I love baby otters.

corycavin Final season of Oprah starts now. This season…SOMEONE. WILL. DIE.

robdelaney “Without exception, I kill and eat each baby I photograph.” – Anne Geddes

songsstuck In those sunglasses, Bieber looks like the coolest mom ever.

thejohnblog ARE YOU READY FOR INDIFFERENCE TO SOME FOOTBALL?

palinode If mushrooms used the internet, I’d say to them “LOL mushrooms! You’re so slow and you live in poop!!1!”. I’d be a mushroom troll, I guess.

PROMO_TWEET FRIDAY NIGHT: BROUGHT TO YOU BY “WOO!” WITH A GRANT FROM “FUCK YEAH!” AND FUNDING BY “YOU’RE A COP? SO WHAT- OW MY FACE

AKbirder The bartender asks “what’s that steering wheel doing in your pants?” The pirate answers, “Aaaarg, it’s driving me nuts”.


stevelibrarian According to Star Trek: TNG, the Slow, Sarcastic Clap survives into the 24th century.

Jesus_M_Christ And the Lord said unto all his haters, “Fucketh ye all of ye. If ye don’t like me bloweth me.”

badbanana Just skimmed through a bunch of @50cent tweets. Can’t believe the guy’s only been shot nine times.

MaxKalifornia Baby Polaroid is revealed: Olivia Julieta Madrigal Born at 2:42 PM 6lbs 14oz, 18 & 3/4 inches.

shinyinfo @exlibris Your daughter is going to lead the revolution, for true. I for one, welcome my Toddler overlord.

adamisacson I was writing a long story about a guy returning from the Trojan War, then I realized “The Odyssey” had already been written. Epic fail.

shinyinfo How boring is it here in my hometown? My parents have a home made video of a nearby barn burning down titled “Barn Fire, 2009″

badbanana Morning has broken me.

eshep either our cat is throwing up less after the arrival of our new kitten, or the new kitten is eating it. great news either way.

louispeitzman I’ve been humming “I Dreamed A Dream” all morning. I’ve never had to give up a kid or sell my body to survive, but I’m totes a miserable.

shinyinfo Why do some people make it so easy to hate them? Easy and enjoyable, like a hater twinkie.

apelad The joy of unsolicited enthusiastic conversation is 100% of the reason this guy got into bus driving.

wordlust You’re a smelly pirate hooker, Charlie Brown.

badbanana He’s been marinating in honey for years. Don’t tell me a rack of Winnie the Pooh ribs wouldn’t be tasty.

JerryThomas With a margin of error of plus or minus three percent. That’s how I poll.

wishing4horses The best thing about being born on this planet? They give you a hat! Automatically. “Hey kid, welcome to Earth, here’s your hat!”

steve_librarian I said earlier that a good leader sees the forest AND the trees. This is also an indicator of a good park ranger.

@palinode: Someday we’ll find it, the Rambo connection, the prisoners, the bastards and AGGGGHHHHHGHGHGHH

thejohnblog Jesus’ bland tamales is the reason for the seasoning.

th3jm4n When it rains, it pours. Then it hails. Then it starts snowing. Then hypothermia sets in. Then you freeze to death.

louispeitzman I’m changing my Facebook picture to a piece of shit to end irritable bowel syndrome.

Mattfraction The Fifth Loko is love.

antigone_spit The cat is locked in an Epic Staredown with the humidifier. WHO WILL EMERGE THE VICTOR?

SuburbanSnaps Generally speaking, you don’t want to emerge from the shower to find your toddler crawling back in through the doggie door.

ryanqnorth How did I get this far without describing Riker’s portrayal on TNG as “Frakespearean.”

shinyinfo There comes a time in every young librarian’s life where she has to shave the balls off her sweater-vest. #NotaEuphemism

someecards Women say size doesn’t matter but I have yet to meet a woman that owns a 3-inch crooked vibrator.

Jesus_M_Christ Fundamentalists are right, I used to ride dinosaurs. Not because evolution is wrong, but because I’m a bad ass.

saraschaefer1 Tiny print in the Lunesta commercial: “The exact way Lunesta works is unknown.” Duh, it is known. Magic butterflies nose-rape you to sleep.

cakewrecks From what I hear, “pooped a pumpkin” is the new “OMG.” Tell your friends.

RailbirdJ This better be a good day, my AK is in the shop.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ.

Do you follow me on twitter? Would you like a follow back? Say hi! I stopped following people back when my stream was filled with robots.

Flipbook

5 Dec